keep me in your thoughts
by LilaacStars
Summary: love is messy enough by itself, but it's worse when you don't know if you love your classmate, your superhero partner or the boy that has been inside of your head since the moment you were born.
1. The Pact

**PSA** :THE **BOLD PARAGRAPHS ARE MIND CONVERSATIONS, NORMAL ONES ARE JUST BETWEEN** "" **!**

 **8 YEARS AGO**

Marinette could not recall when had been the first time she had listened to his voice. Because, as far as Marinette remembered, the voice of a boy had been inside her mind.

It was something so natural and common to her that she couldn't call it a changing moment in her life, she couldn't write down a date and mark it as the beginning of the link she shared with him. For her, this bond was like learning how to speak or how to walk, something that happens without noticing, and when you do notice what you're doing it, it is already happening and it feels like it has always been a part of you.

What she did remember (quite well) was when people started thinking she was crazy.

She had only turned nine years old and she kept talking about " _the boy inside her head_ ". Her parents that had always allowed her to talk about him had started to be annoyed by it too, they would tell her that she was old enough to stop playing with imaginary friends, that it was not healthy for her to keep doing this. That hurt more than the teasing at school. Because of that, she stopped talking about him and pretended that he had been an imaginary friend all along. No one bothered her after that.

It had been a lie, she wished it would have been but it wasn't like that, so, she learned how to pretend that a boy was not screaming inside her head. She learned how to have a poker face when the boy was telling her stories or painting landscapes with his words on her mind. She learned how to shut him down when he was being too loud, and she mastered the art to talk to him as she paid attention to real people's conversations.

She thought that at one point he was going to disappear, but he never did. He was inside her mind and he loved it. She spoke to him every day, and he became a precious friend to her.

She knew everything about him and at the same time, she knew nothing at all. As inexplicable as their communication bond was, they had mastered their own ways to use it, but no matter how hard they tried there were things that link didn't allow.

Revealing each others name was one of those things they had never been able to do, and they had tried multiple times in different ways. It never worked, it was like the connection between them got a mixed signal and they couldn't hear the other talking anymore.

So he was just _boy,_ and she was just _girl_.

 **"** **Girl, are you there?"** The sweet voice of her _boy_ ringed in her head.

 **"** **I'm always here. Big reminder: YOU are the one inside my head!"**

 **"** **_YOU_** **are in my head"** He clapped back. She heard him giggle.

That was another strange thing between them.

Not only could she hear him loud and clear as if he was standing right next to her, she also could hear physical things like his laugh

 **"** **Whatever you say, boy. How's Prague?"**

 _Boy_ was traveling again. He was _always_ traveling.

She knew he was French just like her, but he never seemed to be in the city. While she went to school and helped from time to time in the bakery her parents owned, _boy_ traveled with his family around the world because of his father's job. He was home-schooled, which sounded really cool but _boy_ had assured her it was not.

Maybe not having classmates could be boring at times, but he was traveling! And all he said about those spectacular places made Marinette believe that he was exaggerating about school. It wasn't so cool as being a tourist, she was sure of that.

Boy would tell her the most amazing stories about all the cities and countries he visited. He would relate the excursions, describe the museums and the people and ever since she told him about her new obsession with clothes, he started describing every outfit that caught his attention.

 **"** **It's so cool! My mom bought tickets for a puppeteer show and it was amazing! I know you would have loved it. I told maman to take pictures of the dolls outfits so I can describe them to you later,"**

 **"** **You still talk about** ** _me_** **with your mom?"** She asked confused. It had been months since the last time she had told a story about him to her parents, and when she found herself telling them about _boy_ , she covered it up by telling them it was about a boy from school.

 **"** **Of course! Why not? Mommy likes you very much,"**

 **"** **She doesn't think you are crazy?"**

 **"** **Again with that, girl! No, she doesn't, she would never! Mommy is happy that I have such a good friend,"**

 **"** **You are so lucky! My parents don't believe you exist and in school, everyone started to make fun of me… you are lucky you are home-schooled"**

 **"** **I don't know about that, girl"** He sighed, but he did not say more about the subject, **"I'm very real, you know? Why don't you try to tell them all you know about me, once I told my mother all I knew about you, she only wanted to hear more. She loves you!"**

 **"** **You think I haven't tried? My teachers said I have a "wild imagination", no one believed me… There were times when I've doubted myself"** The last part of the sentence wasn't meant for him to hear but her mind was completely open and the thought reached him.

 **"** **I** ** _AM_** **REAL!"** _Boy_ shouted **"I can prove it,"**

 **"** **How? Every time we try to give personal information our mind erases it is like intercepted mail or something"**

 **"** **Mmm…"**

 **"** **So I thought"** Marinette sighed.

 **"** **I'll find a way! I'll find a way to show you that I'm a hundred percent real and then I'm going to find you"**

 **"** **You want to find me?"** It was not the first time he said that, but he sounded more determined than other times.

 **"** **You don't?"**

 **"** **Of course, but since our mind connection happens to have stupid rules we don't know how to control, I don't know we could do it"**

 **"** **We'll figure it out, no matter how long it takes us, we will find a way, girl"**

 **"** **Promise?"**

 **"** **Promise"** He stated, " **And once I find you, we'll get married!"**

 **"** **What?!"** Marinette jumped. She had been lying on the carpet but now she was sitting straight.

 **"** **I like you,** ** _girl,_** **so much…"**

 **"** **We are nine!"**

 **"** **We don't have to marry right away! First, we become best friends, the** ** _best_** **of friends, bigger best friends than we are now, then we go on out on dates and I give you flowers and then we marry! See? I got a plan and all"**

 **"** **You want to marry me?"**

 **"** **Maman says that love is about a strong connection between two people… isn't that what we have?"** Marinette could feel herself blush. Stupid boy.

 **"** **I g-guess"**

 **"** **And I like youuuuu"** He sang **"Marry me, girl. Let's make a pact to get married!"**

 **"You are crazy!"** She laughed, her heartwarming up at the possibility of having a destined love, just like Disney princess had!

 **"** **For you!"** He replied **"Say yes! Say you'll marry me one day"**

 **"** **You have to find me first"** She gushed, covering her mouth with her hand.

 **"** **You just wait,** ** _princess_** **"**

 **"** **Don't call me princess!"**

 **"** **But you are practically my fiancé,** ** _girl_** **"**

She had never seen him but she could see the version she had imagined -guided by his description- of him pouting. Messy golden hair, big green eyes, a thin nose, and a slim face. Also, she couldn't forget, he was tall. _"I'm tall, so tall, the tallest guy of my age, girl!"_

 **"** **I'm just '** **_girl'_** **, that's fine"**

 **"** **No… I guess you are my** **_girl-_** **friend now"**

"Marinette! Dinner's ready!" The call of her mother was her warning to come back to the real world, the not-so-fun world she was supposed to pay attention to.

 **"** **Okay, okay, I'm girlfriend"**

 **"** **That makes me boyfriend!"**

 **"** **Shut up, mom is going to ask questions if I don't go downstairs now. I'll talk to you later"** she shouted her eyes, concentrating in closing the door. Thought it was never completely closed.

 **"** **I'll talk to you later, girlfriend"**

That was the last thing she heard clearly, then his voice became whispers in the back of her mind.

 **xx**


	2. Joyeux Anniversaire, Marinette

Adrien had been waiting the whole morning to say the words, so when he felt the curtain that separated his mind from her dreams slowly going away, he smiled satisfied.

 **"** **_Joyeux anniversaire_ ****, darling,** " Adrien thought in her direction at the moment he felt her wake up and be back on her senses.

" **Aw, thank you"** Her thoughts were a little blurry, it always happened when she was still half sleep.

Dreams mixed with coherent thoughts and it was confusing, exactly the reason why they had trained their brains to close the "dream door". It took them years but they had finally mastered the art of ignoring each other. They were both grateful for that, a few years ago when they hit puberty things had turned messy and awkward between them. With all the access they had to each other's brain and all the hormones that were playing games with them they were in need of boundaries.

They both imagined doors made of glass to separate one mind from another because that's how it felt inside their minds.

When the door was closed they couldn't hear each other well enough to understand and see every thought, it was like hearing a constant whisper of voices. Thought they had learned how to do that around eight years ago, they kept refining the technique and trying to create new methods. It wasn't as hard as it had been at the beginning, it came natural now but it was still something that they worried about and put energy into.

Adrien sat straighter on the bench and cracked his knuckles.

He waited for her to be completely awake before start playing the piano. When he felt she was about to talk to him, he placed the fingers on top of the first key.

His fingers started moving with elegance, touching the white and occasionally black keys. The start of the song was slow and calculated, he watched how his fingers traveled across the surface of the keyboard but after a few chords and rhythms his movements grew with excitement following the excitement he was feeling from his _girl_.

He closed his eyes, he opened a few doors and erased walls, his energy was about to be wasted on something more meaningful. His fingers kept dancing on the dashboard, muscle memory moving them because his mind was busy creating images that followed the music piece.

He was picturing an old ballet he had been lucky to see years ago at _Palais Garnier_ , with his mother. At the time he wasn't interested on those sort of things, but _girl_ had been obsessed with ballet so he paid extreme attention to the play.

He imagined a boy and a girl dressed in costumes that seemed made of blue stars, the lights were reflecting on the fabric and rhinestones making them shine. The protagonists danced across the floor, their moves were slow and graceful. The girl put all her weight on the point of her left _pointé,_ the guy took her hands and started spinning her around. Their eyes met in a passionated look the connection they shared was undeniable, the audience could have noticed from miles away.

He kept the image of the dancers and began to put more thought on the background.

The lights of the theater were soft purplish colors that followed and focused on the couple, it made the atmosphere not only romantic but magical.

Adrien painted with music and emotion the scene he remembered so well, and once it was well constructed he started playing around with colors and textures. He changed little details that he knew would make _her_ happy, easter eggs that could make her heart flutter.

When he played the last note of the piece, he imagined big red curtains closing and ribbons made of gold swirling around until they created letters. Letters that wished her a happy birthday.

 **"You are the best,"** He heard her melodic voice full of awe **"That was beautiful, you haven't showed me something as beautiful as that, in a very long time"**

 **"A special day deserves special memories,"** He answered back **"It takes a lot of concentration to get the details right so I try to prepare before doing it, so it's perfect when I get to show you,"**

 **"I know it's hard. It makes it more special… ugh, it's too early in the morning to put into words how much it means to me,"** She said in a tender voice **"Sometimes I wish it wasn't we could easily share image. I mean, we practically text with our minds, why can't we send pictures and videos"**

 **"If there's one thing I have learned along the years is that our mind communication has a mind of its own… I wish we could, I would be able to see your beautiful face smiling,"**

 **"Are you flirting with me? This early in the morning?"**

 **"Is never too early to flirt with you, darling"**

 **"It's my birthday, give me a break"**

 **"You are safe for today, only today"** He laughed **"Big 18, are you celebrating? You have not told me nothing about it,"**

 **"I am."** She yawned. Adrien laugh, she wasn't a morning person at all. **"My best friend and her boyfriend are taking me out for a few drinks tonight, but it won't be anything big"**

 **"You never do big celebrations"** Adrien pointed out.

 **"Neither do you"**

 **"I would like to but I'm not allowed to,"**

 **"That sucks, one of my friends isn't allowed to celebrate his birthday either. He really wants to."**

 **"I feel the poor guy,"** Adrien sighed. Maybe him and this mysterious friend could join forces and do their birthdays together, he knew how it sucked to be forbidden to celebrate your birthday. **"Back to you, why don't you like big celebrations?"**

 **"Is not that I don't like it, I just prefer doing something little, sometimes you have more fun like that, you're with the friends that really matter, you can chit chat, no one is pouring beer on your hair..."** Adrien laughed. He knew a thing or two about people throwing their drinks on top of your hair. Marinette and him had had a very eventful night at Alix birthday party, courtesy of Kim.

 **"I see your point, but parties are cool. Once we meet each other, I'll be in charge to plan your birthday party,"**

 **"You'll have to find me first"** That was such a normal phrase for Marinette to say, one way or another it always ended up popping out and although the context were different, the feeling behind it was always the same. " **And what if I'm an old lady when we meet?"**

 **"Then it's gonna be the best party an old lady could have"** He chuckled **"But I certainly believe we will meet before"**

 **"You think?"**

 **"I like to believe we have already crossed paths, darling"**

 **"Well if it was for believing and hoping we will be talking face to face right now,"**

 **"True, but I got my reasons to have that belief, they're not pipe dreams. We live in the same city and I know our minds censure relevant personal information, god knows why, but there are certain details that I have paid close attention to. Details that tell me that we have met each other already"**

 **"I envy your optimism,"**

 **"You are pretty optimistic too, why not being optimistic about this?"**

 **"I don't know, I don't want to get my hopes up I suppose…"** The sadness on her thoughts cooled down the corners of his mind.

 **"Hey! It's your birthday, only happy thoughts today"** He said **"And you better go and let your parents sing happy birthday to you or you will be late to school"**

 **"Nothing new there"** She replied. He rolled his eyes **"I'll try to talk to you later"**

 **"Do your best, and when you're back I'll describe you your present"**

 **"I can't believe you keep buying me things…"**

 **"You do the same, it's just fair"**

 **"I guess"** She laughed **"Bye, baby boy, have a nice day"**

 **"Have a nice day as well, birthday girl!"**

 **"Wait, wait! Before I forget, what was the name of the song you played?"**

" **We Meet In Dreams, Gothic Storm, composed by Chris Haigh"**

 **"I see what you did there"** She laughed and he did too **"That it's a new addition to my playlist"** She thought. A lovely feeling wrapped him and he felt warm all of a sudden.

 **"Do I get to add a song to mine?"** He rose a brow.

 **"I'll see if can think of one, I have not discovered anything new,"**

 **"I'll be waiting. Have fun today,"**

 **"You too, have a nice day… again"** She laughed, her voice started to decrease in volume and the unrecognizable whispers on his mind began to echo once again.

 **xx**

Adrien was sitting on top of Alya's desk, Nino was by his side.

He was watching Alya run from one side to the classroom to the other, Alix and Rose following her, listening to her orders and nodding when Alya required an answer. It was strange to see Alix interested in something else that her own world of constant arguments with Kim, as strange as seeing Rose without Juleka; but when it came to Marinette, strange things could happen.

The whole class, minus Chloé and Sabrina, were decorating the classroom to celebrate Marinette's birthday. She made clear that she didn't' want to celebrate or throw a party. Alya's plans went down the drain, she had been planning a surprise party for her and had to rearrange everything at last minute, because nothing could stop the future journalist to do everything on her power to give her best friend an amazing celebration, even if that meant she had to do a little party at school.

She had recruited the whole class to help her with it and since Marinette was always late to school, it was easier to surprise her here than anywhere else.

The room was full of white and pink balloons, ribbons and a big hand-painted poster that Nathanaël made which went along with the theme of the party, a big pink canvas with gorgeously painted peonies and the words " _Joyeux anniversaire"_ written in cursive and shining with glitter.

In the middle of the room there was a table with a cake. The cake that was supposed to be baked by Alya, Nino and Adrien but that at the end, half of the work had been done by Marinette's father. Alya didn't share her mother's talent, she was a disaster at the kitchen, and Nino was not bad but he was too slow. The only one who had shown talent had been Adrien, whose decorating skills were magisterial, surprising everyone in the room, especially himself when he managed to master the frosting technique.

Tom had been so impressed with his job, and Adrien had been so happy to be actually good at something he liked, that they ended up decorating cupcakes till late hours.

Adrien cherished that memory, he had had an amazing day with Marinette's father and one of the funniest he could recall. He ended up hiding behind flour bags so Marinette wouldn't see him. Him and Tom had shared secret looks and silent laughs as he tried to kick her daughter out of the kitchen.

It had been a fun day, and it had been worth it. Looking at his masterpiece, a three-floor white cake with pink peonies on top and cheer shades of green around the edges simulating the shafts and the leaves. It was beautiful, just like Marinette was.

"Do you think she is coming? It's very late, even for her" Nino asked him, looking at the watch on his wrist.

"Of course she will" Adrien turned to his friend "She probably stayed more time with her family, you know opening gifts and eating a nice birthday breakfast, I'm sure Tom and Sabine make amazing birthday breakfasts"

"Yeah, you're right. I hope she doesn't eat much or she won't be able to try your cake" Nino said pointing out the table in front of them "I'm still impressed, Adrien"

"Me too" Adrien smiled "I hope she likes it as much as all of you like it"

"Pff, she is going to adore it, she will love it so much that she won't be able to cut it"

"That's not the point!" Adrien chuckled "But I get it, I think I'm going to cry at the moment she stabs my cake"

"Stab! Oh god, let's scream when she does, like in a horror movie, please" Nino started laughing, resting his head on Adrien's shoulder

"Let's not scare, sweet little Mari, you know how jumpy she can be"

" _Sweet little Mari_ " Nino raised a brow at the blond model "Aren't we more fond of her as the days pass?"

Adrien didn't answer; he shook his head and smiled.

Marinette was wonderful, and that did not do her justice. Marinette was sweet, independent, brave and she cared about others and those were only a few of the million wonderful things Marinette was. Of course she had her faults, but so did everyone else, so did Ladybug and he loved her anyways… so was his girl and he adored her too. But maybe that was because girl _was_ Marinette.

Adrien shook his head trying to erase the thought out of his mind, noticing how weird that must have looked he gazed at Nino, but he was having a no verbal conversation with Alya.

He needed to take those thoughts of his head, they would bring him nothing but trouble.

The slam of the door against the wall took him out of his thoughts. Kim was there, one hand against the door, the other on his chest, his head to the ground as he panted.

"She's here! Get ready!" He said and that caused everyone to start moving to their respective spots

"You are so weak, can't run upstairs without getting out of breathe" Adrien laughed at Alix's comment.

"So do it yourself! I bet you can't do a better time than me" He answered, ducking down to Alix's level

"And I bet you I can" She frowned at him "I always beat you, what is the difference now?"

"Oh, so you wan—

"NOT NOW!" Alya shouted at them, a death stare behind her glasses

"Later," The couple said and walked to their spot.

"They always make my day" Adrien said to Nino, between his teeth, too scared to talk louder in case Alya heard.

"Yeah, when they are not dragging me to—

"NINO!" Alya said, slamming her hand against her boyfriend's shoulder, making him jump.

"Sweet lord, have a little mercy," He said, shaking her hand off "I'm supposed to get special treatment, it's part of our agreement, right beside…" Nino stopped when he saw Alya glaring at him.

"I think your privileges don't apply when it comes to Mari" Adrien smiled, winning a glare himself.

"He is right. Now both of you: mouths shut" Then she left them, walking to the front door.

Adrien and Nino looked at each other smiling, holding back the big burst of laughter that threatened to come out of their mouths.

When the door creaked, moving slowly, the whole classroom kept silence and at the appearance of Marinette, everyone screamed.

 _"Surprise!"_

Marinette jumped back at the sudden screams but it was only a second of fear that turned into pure joy. Her lips curved into a little smile, her cheeks stained in pink and her big bluebell eyes opened in wonder. Adrien could spend hours looking at her, she was stunning.

As an alcoholic got a rush every time the strong liquor ran into his bloodstream, Adrien got a rush on Marinette's sweet smiles and big bright eyes. And just like a drug addict, the need to consume intensified every time he saw her.

It hadn't been always like this, the first year of knowing Marinette he knew only a few things about her, things that he could count with his fingers. Three years of knowing her gave him a lot of more information, especially when she stopped acting so nervous around him and exactly then was when the problem started, she was too similar to his girl.

Oh no, not again. Not again with the stupid fantasies, he had to stop.

But there were so many similarities, and on a day like this, on Marinette's and his girl's birthday he couldn't help but wonder.

Adrien sought on the pocket of his jeans for the little pin he had put there in the morning. He didn't took it out, he only touched it with his fingertips, he didn't need to look at it, he remembered exactly how it was. He had been staring at that pin for almost nine years now. He bought it in Prague, as a birthday gift for his girl… he bought a gift every single year and described it to her so she could imagine it, so she could create her own picture of the gift so when, one day, when he finally could give it to her she could be surprised and at the same time be familiar with the object.

Of all the gifts he had bought for her, for an inexplicable reason, this pin was his favorite.

Another inexplicable thing was why he had brought it today to school. He wasn't going to give it as a gift to Marinette, but he was tempted, lately, he couldn't shake off his thoughts that she could be the girl inside of his mind.

"Adrien" Nino elbowed him, making him come back to reality, and pointing at the petite girl in front of them who was being hugged, or better said asphyxiated by Alya. "You are going to kill little Mari, babe"

Alya frowned but stopped hugging Marinette who was smiling and with glossy eyes.

"I can't believe you guys did that," Marinette said looking at the whole class "You are amazing, all of you… but shouldn't we be in class already?"

"We took care of that, we have forty-five minutes left to celebrate you, Mari," Nathanaël said, looking at her with love

"You guys are awesome!"

"Indeed we are, now move, babe" Nino said and softly pushed Alya to the side with a bump of his hip. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARIBEAR!" Nino caught his friend in a hug, making her laugh.

"Thank you, bubbles" Marinette hugged him back, as she did her gaze stopped in Adrien, who was giving her a sided smile.

When she backed away from Nino, Adrien made his way to her.

No one tried to hug Marinette first, it was like the three of them had special privileges, particularly Adrien.

" _Joyeux anniversaire_ " _Princesse_ "I hope all your wishes come true" He hugged her, pressing his chin against her head. Her arms wrapped his waist and he caressed her hair.

"Thank you, Adrien" Looking up to him, she gave a toothy smile.

"Okay, okay, share her!" Alix said pushing him to the side and jumping to give a big hug to Marinette.

Apparently, his privileges were over.

Once everyone hugged her and showered with lovely words, she opened a few gifts: a set of silver earrings from Juleka, a little bottle of perfume from Rose, a new video game courtesy of Alix, Max, and Kim, a new sketchbook from Nathanaël and fabric paint from Ivan and Myléne. After that Alya called everyone so they could cut the cake.

"You can do the honors" Alya put a knife on Marinette's hands. And then she walked her to the cake and took the paper box they had put on top of it.

"Oh mon dieu," Marinette said looking at the cake, her eyes shined as they were a Christmas tree. "It's so, so pretty"

Alya gave a proud look in Adrien's direction

"Did you ask my parents for this?" Marinette turned to her friends.

"Kinda. We can tell you later why we aren't allowed in the bakery anymore" Alya said laughing

"My boy is still allowed. In fact, I feel like your dad is going to ask for him to come back," Nino said, taking Adrien by his shoulders "He helped your father after we were kicked out, he did all the frosting"

"You did this?" Marinette's mouth hung open.

"Yeah, I tried my best" Adrien scratched the back of his head.

"You succeeded" Marinette smile grew bigger "This is beautiful, Adrien, you are extremely talented, I can't believe, I, really, I… thank you"

"He also decorated the cupcakes" Alya said, bringing a box she had left in her desk "There's one for everyone" The tiny cupcakes matched the cake, but with only one pink flat peony on top of them

"They are so beautiful that it makes me sad to give them a bite" Marinette said faking a cry. "Since I can't do it, you'll have to do the honors" Marinette passed the knife to Adrien.

"But it's your cake," Adrien said surprised.

"Just make me happy and do the honors, alright?" How could Adrien say no when she looked at him with those beautiful eyes?

"Let's do it" He winked at her and proceed to give the first cut to the cake.

The cake had been as delicious as it was beautiful. The class ate, talked and laughed for a long time until Ms. Bustier followed by Chloé and Sabrina entered the classroom, ending the party.

"This was perfect guys, you are amazing," Marinette said. She hugged everyone and came back to her sit, as the others started to clean up the classroom. "Nath, can I take the poster home?"

"O-of course" Nathanaël smiled at her "You really like it?"

"As I have told you at least fifteen times by now, I love it" Marinette laughed "I'll have to arrange my room to make space for it" That statement made Nathanaël smile

"I'm happy you liked the surprise, girl," Alya said, shaking Marinette's hair, that, rarely, wasn't up today, it flowed in a dark cascade only centimeters under her shoulders.

"Thank you for doing this, you guys are wonderful" Marinette and Alya hugged each other.

"We will give you our gifts at lunch, I thought it would be better," Alya said.

"No, she wanted privacy, she doesn't admit it because then it can backfire on her, because we know she is not good when it comes to other's privacy" Nino grinned.

"You are on my list" Alya frowned at him. Adrien and Marinette laughed.

 **xx**

For Adrien, who was really excited to go to lunch with his friends, it was like the clock had stopped. Without the usual entertainment that it was to talk to his girl, the hours seemed to pass slowlier. But it was just a sensation, so lunch time actually did came, and Adrien jumped out of his sit at the moment the bell rang.

He followed his friends outside and walked with them to Marinette's house, where her parents had cooked for the six of them.

With the sound of chimes their arrival was announced and Tom welcomed them at the door.

"There you are, Sabine has everything set!" He said kissing Marinette's cheek as she walked by him "Did you like the surprise?"

"Oh, papa, I loved it!" She said in a dreamy voice "The cake was spectacular too,"

"I hope you thanked Adrien for that, he decorated the whole cake"

"I did" Marinette assured him.

"We should hire him, what you think?" Marinette laughed and turned to Adrien, one eyebrow rose as she checked him out.

"I don't know, he is too skinny" Marinette said "I don't think he would be able to carry flour bags,"

"Well, me and the flour bags are friends already, so I don't think it would be a problem" Tom laughed at his words, as Marinette looked confused "It's a long story"

"Can we go upstairs? I'm dying to eat some delicious food, and after all we are banned from the bakery" Nino said, with a hand rubbing his tummy.

"What did you guys do?" Marinette asked giggling

"What didn't they do?" Tom said and guided the teenagers upstairs.

Already upstairs Sabine greeted them with a hug and showed them their respective seats.

"Wait! Before we eat Marinette has to open our gifts" Alya said, taking her back to the front of her body.

"Oh, absolutely!" Sabine nodded.

Alya, Nino and Adrien opened their bags in synchrony and took out of them their respective package. Alya's was a rectangular box with polka dotted paper on pink and white, Nino's was exactly the same paper but badly wrapped out with a green ribbon. Adrien's was rectangular as well, wrapped in metallic silver paper with a big dark bow.

"Mine first!" Alya said and put her gift on Marinette's hands.

"Thank you, 'Lya," Marinette said and started to unwrap the gift. "Oh!"

It was a big portrait that held a collage of pictures of them with pictures from the year they first met to pictures taken only a few weeks ago, also there were little messages on Alya's messy handwriting; and it wasn't the only thing, there was a blue box, that as soon as Marinette saw it she squealed.

"You didn't!" Marinette opened the box and found a little silver pendant in the shape of scissors.

"I did!" Aya laughed and hugged her friend.

"I love you! Help me with the clasp," Marinette twisted her hair on a bun and let Alya clip the necklace around her neck "It's so pretty,"

"It looks great on you, Mari" Adrien said, making Marinette blush.

"Now, mine!" Nino said pushing Adrien to the side. Repeating the same process, Marinette opened Nino's gift: a small black leather clutch "You are always complaining that you don't have a black tiny bag, I don't understand why you don't make one but…"

"Thank you!" Marinette said sincerely "It's because I always forget, so this is perfect, I adore it Nino. It's amazing, and such great quality!"

"Thank god, it took me hours to find the perfect one" He sighed relieved, which made his friends laugh.

"And last but not least" Adrien showed his package "With all my love to you"

Marinette didn't answer, she only blushed.

Adrien lent her the package and Marinette took it with care, she touched the metallic paper and the black elegant bow, it was perfect and she hadn't opened it yet.

With carefulness she slowly tore apart the wrapping paper, revealing a brown leather sketchbook. It looked old and it had stains on one of the borders. Alya and Nino looked at it confused.

Marinette was confused as well, but as she examined the sketchbook she noticed something. At one of the edges there were too engraved letters in gold, a G and an A. Marinette's eyes opened like plates; she untangled the sketchbook of the leather strips and opened it on a random page.

Sketches. _Raw_ sketches, colored sketches, notes on the borders, dates, questions, measures, fabric names, colors; it was all there.

"Is this a dream?" She asked, she didn't stutter but her voice sounded as she was about to "Is this what I think it is?"

"I heard you a few months ago" Adrien whispered "And after weeks of begging my father said he won't miss it,"

"So, it's real" Marinette skimmed through the pages once again "These are your father's designs!"

"It is his sketchbook from the Agreste's Spring and Summer Collection of 1994" Adrien smirked, "That's your favorite year, right?"

"Yes! Oh, Adrien!" She stood up from her sit and ran to Adrien's arms. He caught her in a tight hug "Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me"

Adrien smiled and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm glad you like it,"

"Like it? She loves it! It's not fair she loves it more than my gift," Alya crossed her arms against her chest. Sabine petted her head as she laughed.

"It's a wonderful gift, Adrien, you are very kind," Sabine told him.

"I told you! We should keep him" Tom said, making everyone laugh, except Marinette who felt awkward at the comment, especially while being on Adrien's arms.

"Thank you, you are the best," Marinette said, untangling herself from her friend.

"It was nothing,"Darling. Princess. No, _Marinette_ "My father will also be happy to hear you like it"

"I can't believe he gave you the sketchbook, he barely looks in my direction when I'm in the house, he must like Marinette very much" Nino commented.

"Is not that he likes Mari, he just doesn't like you, no one likes you," Alya said.

"Joke's on you, babe, you are _dating_ me" Nino kissed her cheek as Alya rolled her eyes, trying to hide the smile on her lips.

"Okay, kids, it's lunch time" Tom announced, "I think our lunch can compete with Adrien's gift"

Marinette nodded and walked with her friends to the kitchen.

Before sitting on his spot, Adrien took the pin on his hands one more time. Should he risk it? Should he give it to Marinette? He wanted to, but he wasn't sure. If she, in fact, was his girl, it would be marvelous, but if she wasn't then he had given away one of his most adored positions to someone who wouldn't share the same amount of love for it as he did.

He sighed, and put the pin down back into his pocket.

It was better to be sure.


	3. Love Drunk

**"What are you wearing?"** The voice in her head asked.

 **"I'm not sexting you, or whatever it's called if we do it through our minds** " Marinette answered.

 **"Wha-what?! No, no,** **no** **I didn't mean, oh, darling, that's not why I… I—"** His thoughts became a swirl inside her mind, starting to create what they called "white noise", this time wasn't as annoying as it was at other moments, this time it made Marinette laugh. She could feel how embarrassed he was.

 **"I'm kidding!"** She shouted, " **I'm wearing a little black dress, spaghetti straps, heart cleavage, very simple."**

 **"You are mean!"** He shouted but then something close to a laugh ringed on Marinette's head.

" **You are ingenuous, you make it too easy to tease you,"** Marinette smirked watching her reflection in the mirror.

 **"You will regret those words, my darling** " He threatened in a playful tone **"Since I can't seem to ask you where are you going, I would like to know if it is safe,"**

 **"It is. My best friend is reckless but she would never put us on danger intentionally"** Marinette said **"And we are only going out for a few drinks, it's going to be a quiet evening with friends"**

 **"Tell me how quiet it is after two drinks. Darling, you are an alcohol virgin, I bet you are a lightweight!"**

 **"Ha! I bet you are the lightweight, and my lips may have never tasted alcohol but I bet I still have a better resistance than you do"**

 **"I'll have to differ,"**

 **"I'll prove you wrong later,"** She said, challenging him.

 **"Sure, darling, sure"** He answered sarcasm pouring down his words.

 **"Yeah, you just keep trying to brush off how afraid you are,"** She laughed.

 **"Afraid?** **Me?** **Do you know who you are talking to? I'm not afraid of anything,"** He did not know who he was talking to. She was Ladybug, _she_ wasn't afraid of anything.

 **"Oh yes, anything! Except for snakes, needles, clowns, that old little—**

 **"I get it, I get it!"** He interrupted making her burst into laughter " **You are so, so mean, to me! Using my own thoughts against me; someone who does nothing but love you and support you! Me! The nicest guy to ever exist, I feel betrayed. Don't talk to me ever again,"**

 **"You are such a drama queen,** " Marinette said that in her mind as well as out loud, winning a confused look from Tikki.

Marinette giggled and pointed at her head. Tikki nodded and laughed with her.

After Marinette and Tikki had covered all the Ladybug themed questions, talked about her duty and chatted a little about anything and nothing to start bonding, Marinette had confessed her secret to her.

At the time, Marinette thought Tikki could help her if she was a magic being that could transform her into a superheroine, the chances for her to know something about her mind connection were more than compared to anyone else. Sadly Tikki proved not to be helpful in the matter, yet till this day Marinette was sure that her little friend knew more than she told her; but she wasn't going to push it if Tikki knew and didn't tell her it had to be for a good reason.

But even if Tikki didn't explain anything, she was still really helpful, since it was the only friend who knew her secret; she was also the only one who heard her raging.

 **"You wound me, darling"** Marinette rolled her eyes and didn't answer that. Did all flirty guys use that sentence? She was sure Chat Noir had used that one with her as Ladybug and as Marinette, and now there he was her boy, her flirty boy was using it.

 **"Truth usually hurts,"** She said smug " **Now leave me alone for a few minutes, I need to do my makeup and if you are knocking on my brain I won't be able to do it well,"**

 **"But what I'm going to do as I wait for you?"**

 **"What do you usually do when I'm not talking to you?"**

 **"Wait for you to talk to me?"**

 **"Drama queen"** Marinette sang.

 **"I'm bored, my father dragged me to the lamest dinner and my friends are all together enjoying their night, you are my only company"**

 **"I'm sorry to hear that, but I can't do my makeup if you are talking inside my mind. It's gonna be a few seconds, go and make some friends, flirt with someone else that's not me, you are probably about to combust since you haven't flirted with me today,"**

 **"I'll try, but don't get jealous later,"**

 **"I won't"**

 **"Sure thing, darling"** And he was gone.

Marinette did her make up in record time, still managing to do it perfectly. She always enjoyed doing a powerful eye makeup, she played with colors and inspired her looks by the designs she did. Because of school, she didn't get to wear the looks she created every day, but tonight was a special occasion.

Marinette's black dress was simple but hugged her in the right places, giving her the perfect hourglass figure. She did her eye makeup to balance the simple dress, it was not dramatic but it was glamorous. The black dress allowed her to play with colors on her eyes, which was always her favorite part.

The color of choice was red, which made Tikki and her laugh. The red started at her inner corners and faded into a deeper color till it turned black. Marinette ended the look with a black eyeliner creating a wing, and a light red lip stain.

"Ta-da!" Marinette stood up, opening her arms to show the whole look to Tikki.

"You look beautiful, Marinette!" Tikki swirled in the air at the sight of her Ladybug "You are going to steal the spotlight for sure!"

"Well thanks, Tikki" She giggled, "I just wish Adrien could go,"

"Oh, Marinette…" Tikki sighed, "You know he wanted to go, and he was with you the whole day to compensate"

"Yeah, I know" Marinette nodded and gave her kwami a little smile "He was incredible today, wasn't he?"

"His gift was really thoughtful, he loves you very much,"

Marinette didn't answer at the statement, she wasn't sure how to do it, things with Adrien had turned a little weird lately. Not in the bad sense of the word, well, neither in the good one; it was just weird.

It wasn't Adrien's fault, not at all, he was sweet, kind and polite as he ever was, it was all her and the little control she had over her own emotions.

When she stopped stuttering around him, Adrien started to feel more comfortable around her too, allowing him to show a part of his personality that didn't shine as often, one that Marinette would have never guessed he possessed.

He was, so, so flirty and he enjoyed puns and jokes so much, to the extreme where Marinette wondered if he was Chat Noir undercover or some other trick.

Marinette was used to have a flirty boy inside her mind and a flirty boy in black leather and a mask, making approaches to her all the time; you'll think those situations would have prepared Marinette to act around the flirty model, but no, nothing did. Not only it didn't work, for the worse, instead of making advances with Adrien, who she had been crushing for a few years now, Marinette started to notice her partner.

She felt more comfortable flirting around with Chat Noir than with Adrien, the boy in his mind didn't count since she didn't have to talk to him face to face. Also, it was easier around her cat partner for obvious reasons, it was easier to flirt and play around with someone you don't see as a romantic interest, than with someone who gives you the feeling of being spinning around inside of a tornado when he stood close.

But the secondary effect of constant flirting is that after a while the lines get blurry. Marinette wasn't sure if she could see those lines anymore. In their late encounters and flirts, Marinette hadn't been able to stop the blush and the rush of adrenaline that ran through her veins at every word Chat said, and that only happened with Adrien, which worried her.

But, no, wait. It was normal, right? After all, Marinette wasn't blind, she could acknowledge when a guy was attractive, and her silly kitty had grown to be a handsome guy who happened to look magnificent in a spandex uniform. Marinette couldn't deny that, and it was not like she had been paying strict attention to that, they just worked together and very intimates situations were part of the deal, Marinette couldn't look away when he was that close, obviously, it was all strictly professional.

But she was still just a girl, and he was still just a boy, a really hot boy.

"Marinette, you are going to be late!" The scream of her little red friend made her come back to reality.

Marinette shook her head to the sides, as she was trying to erase the last thought her mind had created that was accompanied with a very nice memory of Chat Noir's face. She sighed frustrated, why was she such a mess when it came to boys? She will never get an answer to that question.

 **xx**

Marinette took the metro to get to the place Alya had chosen.

As she was inside the wagons she tried to contact her boy one more time, but he didn't answer. She didn't like it when he didn't answer, especially when she couldn't hear him at all.

Marinette hated when the connection got lost, a thing that only started to happen a few years ago.

It was hard to explain how the communication between their minds worked, Marinette didn't have any information of cases like that, only own experience, and she could only describe a few things, things that made sense to her and that tend to repeat.

Like how it felt; when they were talking, it was exactly like texts or a phone conversation. When they ignored each other it was like being in the same house, she was inside and he was outside on a terrace, the door separating them made of glass, because she knew he was there, she could feel and hear a few whispers, but it wasn't as he was inside of the house with her.

And then finally there was that moment when she doubted if he was there or not, like being on the second floor of a house and wonder if there are people on the first floor or if you are alone, you could hear sounds but you are not sure if they are from your family or you are just imagining things.

This only began to be a regular thing four years ago, Marinette figured it out it had something to do with her miraculous, and she could never talk or hear him when she was transformed, maybe magic didn't blend well with whatever weirdness was in her head and sent her mind into short-circuiting. Other times the connection was hard to establish was when she was in school or around friends when all her concentration was focused away from him when she really had to pay attention to the outside world. She did not know if that was a flaw of their link or if they had trained their minds so well that she had created a permanent wall between them so their thoughts wouldn't interfere when it mattered the most.

Marinette wished she could understand their connection; it will help her out a lot. She didn't understand why they couldn't reveal their names or any names for the matter, apparently, the only personal detail they had been able to share over the years was their physical description, their birthdays and the fact that they both lived in Paris. But everything else that could help them find each other was censored by their telepathy. Marinette had learned to live with it, even get used to it, but it never stopped being frustrating.

So without her boy to talk, she sent a text to Adrien, to see how he was doing.

Sadly he didn't answer. Marinette felt bad, not for her, she knew Adrien would answer as soon as he could, she felt bad for him, she could see him bored and alone in another event his father had dragged him in.

Once out of the metro station and back into the streets, Marinette tried to call Adrien, just to taste her luck. She reached to voicemail.

"Hi there, it's Mari… I hope you are not too bored, just wanted to let you know that we will miss you and… well, I really wanted to say thanks for your gift, again" She giggled "I have been reading it and it's mesmerizing, there's no other word for it, so yeah, thank you so much… I'll hang out now, Alya must be wondering where I am, I'm still not where I got the wrong train by mistake, you know how I am… anyways I better hang, yeah, as I said before…eh… bye!" She hanged.

"I thought I was getting better at this" Marinette hit her forehead with her hand

"You are better; do I remind you the first one?" Tikki whispered from the sequined black purse Marinette had chosen for her outfit.

"No, it's engraved in my head," Marinette gasped and then giggled, "I didn't call him hot stuff, right? I guess I can say I've come a long way," Tikki laughed with her and they began their way to the bar once again.

Marinette only walked a few blocks down the street when in front of her a silver stick appeared, and with it, using it as a fireman poll, there was Chat Noir.

"Well, well, if it isn't my princess" Chat Noir greeted her, a smirk on his face and with narrowed eyes.

"I got no time for your games, chaton, " Marinette crossed her arms on top of her chest.

"Games? You wou—

"Don't you dare!" Marinette pointed at him and gave him a death glare, which made Chat Noir laugh.

"Okay, okay, your wishes are my orders" He smirked "Where are you going? You look absolutely stunning tonight, princess"

"Well, thanks" She wasn't able to make a sassy come back as she wishes she had, the rush of blood on his cheeks and the butterflies on her stomach shouldn't be there and yet they were, messing with her common personality "I'm meeting Alya and Nino, it's my birthday so we are going for drinks"

"It is your birthday?" Chat leaned closer for a second and then pulled back to jump with help of his stick and disappeared.

"He is so weird," Marinette said to Tikki, her kwami giggled in response.

Marinette took her phone to check one more time the address of the bar when her partner landed in front of her one more time.

"Stop doing that!" Marinette squealed, winning a bunch of looks thanks to it.

"I was going to say don't shout, but I guess it's too late," He pointed at the people on their sides, all of them with phone or camera in hand and taking pictures of them.

As Ladybug, she was used to it. With so many tourists it was impossible to appear at any street without being seen, the cameras followed her and Chat Noir all the time.

"Come here" Chat passed a hand around her waist and brought her closer to him. "Where were you heading?"

"I can go by myself,"

"You caught the tourists' attention, they are not going to leave you alone for a while, and also it's dangerous for a pretty girl to round around alone,"

Marinette didn't refuse, she knew that when Chat Noir had a thing on mind it was hard to shake it off, and she wasn't going to complain, being carried to the place she was going instead of walking to it while wearing heels, was much better. But, she rolled her eyes at him, and she made sure he was watching her doing it. He grinned at it.

She crossed her arms around his neck and waited for him to extend the stick, she was used to this, but if she was honest, it was less scary when she was in her dotted costume.

Once in the top of a house, Chat Noir changed the position of his arms and the way he was holding her, now she was completely in his arms.

"So where are we going, Mari?"

"Two blocks to the left, the _Corbeau Bleu,_ Alya says it has a big neon display at the windows"

"I've seen it before, so there we go!" He announced and started jumping with her on his arms "So Alya planned this?"

"What do you think?"

"I think she did" He chuckled "Over the years I've known her and her personality as a reporter I think it's my duty, as a responsible superhero, to tell you to be careful, that girl is dangerous… in a good sense of course"

"Yeah, I know" Marinette nodded. "But nothing will happen, don't worry"

"I'll worry anyway, princesse," He said it in a soft tone as he stopped his running and jumped to the ground. "Here we are, safe and sound. Hope you enjoyed your flight, thanks for preferring Chat Noir airlines"

"You can't fly,"

"Let me dream," He leaned his head closer to hers now that they were both with feet on the ground. "Now wait here for a few seconds,"

Marinette raised a brow at him in doubt. He was gone again, on the rooftops running in the direction they had come.

She sighed, it didn't take much of her do as he said, but he had already disappeared on her only two minutes ago so the questions popping on her stop were unstoppable. He was a bit odd, always had been, but today he was more dispersed than usual.

Marinette played with one piece of her hair, she had let it down tonight, didn't do much more than brushing it. Her hair was so straight that trying to use a curling iron was useless, she could style her hair in curls with a ridiculous amount of hairspray, that was true, but she hadn't been in the mood to do it, so now she was rocking her natural hair. She played with the piece on her hands and then across her face, putting it on top of her mouth, ready to make a silly face to Tikki when a hand touched her shoulder.

"Alya," She said in a surprised tone when at turning around she found her best friend standing behind her

"Why do you look so surprised? Who else were you expecting?" Alya giggled and Marinette did too.

"My head was somewhere else"

"Your head is always somewhere else. C'mon, Nino is asking for drinks already, we have a nice tasting planned for you" Alya took Marinette's arm and slowly pulled her at her side "By the way you look fantastic, girl!"

"Fantastic is to fall short. I know you can find a better word to describe Marinette's beauty, Alya" Marinette felt how Alya's nails buried on her skin. Thought Alya had learned to cool down around Paris' superheroes since Alya had become the closest to a friend their alter egos could have; she still had those little moments where her true fangirl colors showed up. Well, in the late months, only around Chat Noir.

Chat Noir appearing unexpected and complimenting Marinette, yeah totally one of those moments that triggered Alya's excitement.

"Chat Noir! What are you doing here?" Alya shouted in Marinette's ear, making her flinch.

"Well," He said and moving the arm he had behind his back to his front, he unrevealed what he was holding.

A big mixed bouquet of white and pink peonies, the flowers looked carefully selected, their beautiful petals looked like they were made of silk and they looked so fresh, a weird thing at this time of the day.

It was indeed an expensive bouquet, and the fact that he had bought it only minutes after meeting her on the street was surprising, something, not any person could have pulled out. Once again, Marinette's brain was flooded with questions.

"A bouquet as beautiful as you, princesse"

Marinette rolled her eyes once again, only to stop the blood that was running to place itself on her cheeks and stain them in pink.

"Don't do that," Alya said between clenched teeth. She softly slapped her arm, but it was Alya who delivered the slap so there was nothing actually soft about that and it hurt.

"Ouch," Marinette said rubbing where her friend had hit, then changing her attention back to the guy in the black suit "Thank you, you didn't have to"

"Subjects have to pay their respects to the royalty, mon princesse" He smirked and Marinette couldn't help but laugh.

She gave a step closer to him, opening her hands and extending them to take the bouquet. It was heavier than it looked but nothing she couldn't deal with. The problem was what she was going to do with them once inside the bar.

"Thank you, really. Peonies are my favorite" She looked at him with a tender expression, one that made him look away.

Was he flustered? Marinette had only seen him get shy a few times, and the fact that this time she did it as her civilian-self made her smile wide.

"Okay, enough flirting, I have an evening planned for her majesty"

" Royal Highness, " Chat Noir said one finger up. "She is a princess so that's the title she-"

"I know, I know! " Alya waved her hand back and forth, "Whatever title she is, she is my friend, it is her birthday and I need to get her drunk"

"Alya!" Marinette jumped. "She is not getting me drunk," She said glancing at Chat Noir who chuckled at Alya's words.

"We'll see," Chat winked, "Take care of her, Alya. Princesses have a reputation to maintain" He teased.

"She is in good hands, don't worry" Alya winked back.

Chat Noir made a military salute gesture, gave a dramatic little bow towards Marinette and he used his baton to jump away from them.

Marinette looked as he was a tiny blurry image at the end of one of the buildings.

"He is sooooo in love with you. In and out of costume" Alya elbowed Marinette and gave her a suggestive look

"He is just a flirt, get over it. And I thought we had agreed to not use my secret against me,"

"I'm not using your secret against you, I'm just stating the truth, it is what I do best,"

"Shut up," Marinette poked her tongue at her "C'mon, Nino must be bored already,"

"Let him suffer," Alya crossed an arm around Marinette's arms and walked her to the inside of the bar. "Are you ready, Nette?"

"You are the one who planned all of this, my answer is a big and obvious: no " Marinette leaned her head to touch Alya's. Alya chuckled.

"If someone is going to get you drunk, is going to be me because I love you and I'm trustworthy," Alya pointed proudly at herself "Nino and I will take care of you, we promise. We won't let anything happen to you,"

"I know," Marinette smiled, "but don't take it too far, if there's an akuma…" She whispered so no one could hear. The bar was crowded, filled with young adults enjoying themselves, joking around and drinking different varieties of alcohol all around, probably no one was paying attention to them but a secret was a secret so she kept her voice low and did not end the phrase, she knew Alya would understand.

"I'm sure Chat Noir would be able to handle it," Alya said close to her ear "Don't worry about anything, just have fun, okay? You have one night to be a normal teenager, Marinette,"

"But I'm not a normal teenager, Alya" She sighed.

" Pretend you are," Alya clicked her tongue.

"Alright, I'll try " Marinette shook her head and put on the biggest smile.

"Let's do this!" Alya said and throw one fist to the roof.

They walk towards the table Alya had reserved.

The bar was big, now that Marinette had pushed her worries at the back of her brain she could appreciate the decoration of the place.

It had a modern vibe, the blue neon lights illuminating the place were a big part of the place but the modern of the lights was juxtaposed with the rustic decoration of the tables. They were made of white wood and had matching stools. There was a blue metallic raven that shined as a centerpiece in every single table.

Although almost every table on the bar was taken and filled with multiple drinks and plates of food, it was easy to find Nino in the crowd because he was the only one sitting alone.

"Birthday girl here!" Alya announced, she left Marinette's side to toss herself at her boyfriend's arms and kiss his cheek "And me, of course,"

"Of course," Nino laughed, kissing her cheek in return, only to shift his sight to Marinette one moment later "Maribear, you look just fabulous! But hey, what's with the flowers?"

"Long story,"

"Chat Noir somehow found out it was her birthday and gave her the bouquet as a gift,"

"Whoa, I know he and LB have been more friendly with us because we are always in the middle of the battles, gee I wonder why we do that," He glanced at Alya at "but that bouquet looks extremely expensive. After years of visiting the Agreste's Mansion, I can tell the difference between a normal bouquet and an elegant one, and that one is a very fine one," He pointed at the flowers on Marinette's hand.

"What's your question?" Alya asked, raising a brow at her boyfriend, knowing him as well as she did, she knew that wasn't just a comment, he wanted to know something.

"When did Marinette and him became such close friends?" He asked without taking his eyes out of the peonies.

"We talked a few times," Marinette shrugged, "Sometimes I see him from my balcony, he makes a lame joke I roll my eyes, he smirks, I make a sassy comeback that he adores so he laughs and then he is gone. That's it" Marinette lied.

Well, not exactly, those interactions did happen, but she omitted that those few times they talked were really "a few times a week". They didn't talk for hours but they had fun conversations as well as meaningful ones, they were friends. The kind of friends that you don't have to see or talk every day but can count on; and they weren't close, not as Marinette and Chat Noir, they just liked each other enough to talk, like classmates, yeah classmates was a good way to describe it

"He was just being nice,"

"Sure" Nino nodded. Marinette and Alya were not comfortable with that answer, but neither of them could understand why it bothered them so they didn't ask for further explanation.

Talking to her friends was always so easy. They had seen each other only hours before and they still had multiple topics to talk about. Their conversation was filled with dares, jokes and of course: drinks, they were there for the drinks after all.

Marinette's had her first drink: a shot of vodka. Her reaction to it was filmed by Alya, who was still laughing at the face Marinette made after she swallowed the alcohol.

After that one strong shot, Alya asked for nicer drinks. Drinks with artificial fruity tastes and very sweet prepared glasses.

Nino and Alya were surprised by Marinette. She wasn't the lightweight her friends had bet her to be.

It took almost three drinks to get Marinette tipsy.

"I lost, I can't believe I lost," Alya gasped, she was looking at a note on her phone, eyes wide and her mouth hanging open.

"I can't believe Adrien won," Nino said also looking at the screen, searching for the bets they had written down a week ago.

"I can't believe you did a bet, you are horrible, horrible friends!" Marinette leaned on the table and said everything louder than she usually did. After the fourth glass of daiquiri, she was finally drunk. The fun type of drunk Alya was expecting her to be. "Adrien is the only one worthy of my love!"

"A little louder and my boy will able to hear you, Maribear" Nino laughed, he was tipsy too.

"He should be able to hear me! He should be here!" Marinette pouted and rested her hands and her head against the table "I look so cute and he can't see it, it's not fair, Chat Noir saw me but Adrien can't see it and neither can my boy, my life is not fair!"

"I understood half of what you said," Alya said laughing.

"What boy?" Nino asked confused, leaning closer to Marinette to be sure he heard her right.

" My boy, " Marinette said again, a little smile appearing on her lips "Did you guys knew that I'm engaged?" She put her hand up and wiggled her fingers.

"Shut up!" Alya bounced in her seat, hands pressed to her cheeks, "How didn't I knew that? I'm your best friend!"

"She is obviously not engaged, she is just drunk!" Nino said snapping his fingers in front of Alya's face.

"No, it's true!" Marinette stood of her stool and pointed Nino with one finger "He is the sweetest boy in the whole world, a little flirty but I can work with that, and we are engaged and I don't know where he is and I can't show him how good I look tonight," Marinette faked a cry, "It's not fair… and Adrien is also stuck in a boring dinner, and I look so good, and I don't stutter anymore, and damn I look so, so, sooo good, it's not fair"

"Whoa someone likes herself today," Alya who was sitting at her side moved her stool closer to lean against her, "You always look good, Mari, you always look good, don't worry"

"No, today I look good and the guys I love can't see it,"

 _"Guys_ you love? There's more than one? This is a real thing? I thought you were in love with Adrien? What is this no sense, Nette? I'm so confused right now," Nino clasped his hands against the table, making the girls straight up on her seats.

"Another question you want to add, babe?" Alya said in the middle of a chuckle "She is just drunk, you know the real Marinette, this is just the alcohol speaking. She loves Adrien, don't you, Mari?"

"I love him, so, so much. From that day in the rain, and the umbrella and, aw, he looked so cute that day, and then he just got cuter, he always looks so cute. You know when he looks especially cute? When he wears that dark green sweater, it makes me want to cry of happiness every time I see him wearing that, and he also looks cute in button-ups, no, wait he doesn't look cute, he looks handsome, he is so handsome, have you noticed how handsome he is?"

"Hard not to when he is in the cover of every magazine and sits by my side on every class" Nino pointed out, looking relieved now.

"I know, you are so lucky, but he is not only handsome, he is smart! And soooooo talented and—" Marinette's kept talking with a muffled voice, because of Alya's hand pressed against her mouth.

"I have no intention in listening to the fifty-page list she has of Adrien's qualities and the reasons she loves him, can we change subjects?" She uncovered Marinette's mouth once she went silent again.

Nino and Alya handled most of the conversation, mostly because Marinette had turned into a giggling mess. Everything was funny, everything was pretty, and she couldn't go through a subject without making a joke about it; jokes that were barely understood by her friends since she was giggling and running over her words all the time.

In fact, Alya had started to order only glasses of water for Marinette. Yeah. it was hard to get her drunk, but once she reached that state she was a mess. Right now she was half sleeping on top of the table

"I think it's time to take her home," Alya announced, "You are also drunk so it's time to stop, I promised half of the population of Paris that I would take care of her,"

Nino nodded and stood up so he could take Marinette in his arms.

"Do you have the app that calls taxis?" Nino asked his girlfriend.

"Are you out of your mind? Do I need to remind you how expensive those things are?"

"It's on Adrien," Nino said and that was enough for Alya to download the app and call a cab.

 **xx**

Marinette woke up curled up on her divan with a blanket on top of her. She rubbed her eyes to adequate her sight so she could see through the dark night. It was still dark, so she didn't sleep as long as she thought she had, still, she couldn't tell what time it was.

She was sure it wasn't close to morning hours because she could still feel the effects of the alcohol running through her veins, and she couldn't hear any sounds downstairs, which meant the bakery wasn't getting ready for business.

"Tikki," Marinette whispered in the dark.

She stood up stumbling, stretching her hands in front of her to not crash into anything. Moving in slow motions and giving careful steps -as careful as a drunk person could- she reached her desk, turning up the fairy lights around her stairs.

The soft light was enough to not bother her and help her found Tikki who was sleeping in the miniature sleeping bag Marinette had knitted for her.

With her index finger, she pressed against her kwami's tummy, gaining a squealed scream from her.

"Marinette!" She yelled at her, crossing her arms in front of her tiny body.

"Sorry, it is important,"

"What's wrong?" This time she sounded concerned.

Marinette didn't explain, she just whispered the needed words and Tikki was abducted by the earrings.

Once transformed, Marinette took a hair band and pulled her hair in a ponytail on top of her head. With that done, she went out of the house and began to run in the roofs and jump the pipe walls.

It didn't take her long to realize that it wasn't a good idea to do what she was doing, it had been five minutes and she had already fallen thirteen times (yes, she was counting), still her wish to run was stronger so she kept doing it.

What she didn't expect was for Chat Noir to also be rambling at those unholy hours.

Adrien was used to going out during those hours; even when there wasn't an akuma terrorizing the city he liked to go out in runs, the feeling of freedom was something incomparable to any other feeling in the world, it was particularly liberating to do it at these hours of the night, hours where he should be tucked in his bed, getting his beauty sleep and being a good boy who followed all the rules that were imposed on him.

Adrien loved to patrol with Ladybug, but these times when he was alone when he could enjoy the benefits of his superhero abilities were a favorite part of his days. He was used to doing these runs alone so when he saw Ladybug in the distance running around and jumping he had been surprised.

He smiled at her red figure on the dark rooftops; giving a sigh he asked himself if he should follow her.

Today had been a long day, the first half of it had been good, really good but that good was what made him question if he should join his lady on her run. He spent all day with Marinette, full attention on her, not missing any chance he got to flirt with her and not only had he done that as Adrien, also as Chat Noir.

Things were starting to get complicated.

As much as Adrien wished for Marinette to be the girl inside his head, there was also a big part of him that wanted her to be Ladybug. Those were just wishful thoughts, he knew that, but after all, he was in love with her, wasn't he?

Time ago he wouldn't have doubted that, but in the recent years it had become a recurrent question, a question that Adrien hated.

Questions without answers could bother anyone, and questions related to feelings were always the worst, so just imagine the what a torture it was to live with an unanswered question about love.

Things were extremely complicated at this point in his life. sometimes he could forget about the problems, but tonight the problems were present and louder than any other day before.

Plagg made a joke about Marinette when they were at the dinner his father dragged him, and somehow the joke had turned into a deep and meaningful conversation, a conversation that had highlighted another big question.

What if Marinette is not the girl in my head?

What was so frightening about that question? He had been asking himself for months " what if Marinette is the girl in my head? " And between that question and the first one, there were big differences and big fears.

What if Marinette is the girl in my head? That question was filled with hope, if the answer was yes, it would give closure, happiness, and excitement.

What if Marinette is not the girl in my head? If the answer to that question was yes, it would only bring problems and disappointment. Beginning with the fact that he had to keep looking for his girl and ending with the big problem that Adrien was facing right now: He had feelings for Marinette.

He couldn't quite tell how far they went but he already felt something, it wasn't impossible to deny it.

Today when she had smiled at him, her eyes had been fueled with tenderness and awe, emotions she displayed by looking at him . He felt how butterflies appeared on his stomach and later he couldn't stop thinking about how good she looked, how the black dress wrapped her elegant body in all the right places, how the cleavage was teasing but still left room for imagination, how her hair looked so pretty when it wasn't tied up.

Adrien just couldn't stop thinking about her, proving that his feelings were far away from being just friendship.

Adrien was also feeling guilty.

He was betraying Ladybug. He had sworn he would only love her, and if he felt something for Marinette he was betraying her partner.

And if Marinette was not his darling then he was also betraying her!

But then, loving his darling was betraying Ladybug, and loving Ladybug were betraying his darling, but if he felt something for Mari then wasn't him betraying her too?

Alright, this was a mess, Adrien didn't want to keep thinking about it.

He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. Punching away all the messy feelings and ideas in his mind, he decided that he would join Ladybug on her run.

He gave one look around, expecting Ladybug to be miles away from the last place she had seen her but he was wrong. She was not very far from there and he was surprised because he knew she could outrun him if she had the mindset.

He ran to the rooftop pipes, where Ladybug was lying in an awkward position, untangling her legs off her yo-yo.

"My lady, what happened here?" He stopped himself from making a joke about her situation, something told him it wouldn't be well received.

"My clumsy side is making an appearance," She answered in between giggles. She stood up once she had untied herself "What are you doing at these hours, mon chaton ?"

"Could ask the same, spots, " He smiled at her.

"I just felt like running!" She extended her hands in the air and gave an unsteady swirl on top of her heels. That movement was enough for Adrien to notice something was wrong with her.

"Are you feel—"He was interrupted by Ladybug slamming her hand on his shoulder and giving another huge laugh.

"Tag you're it!" She shouted so loud that he flinched away from her.

"Ladybug?" He asked, but it was too late she was running again. "Something is obviously wrong here," He whispered to himself.

He started running after her, he tried his best to catch up with her but no matter how many times she fell, she managed to keep going faster than him all the time.

"Stop running!" He gasped, following her, stretching his arms to see if somehow he could catch her at that distance, "Why are you running?!"

"Because you are chasing me!"

"I'm chasing you because you are running!"

Ladybug swirled on the air, and instead of the graceful landings she was used to perform, she touched the ground with her foot on a bad position, making her lost her balance and fall, hitting herself against one of the rooftop pipes. This was a bad fall, nothing like the others.

"Ouch" She managed to say it in a playful tone, but still showing a shadow of pain in her voice,

"Bug, are you gonna tell me what's up?" Chat Noir offered her his hand to help her sit,

"The sky!" She opened her hands and pointed at the Parisian night.

"Aren't we funny?" He rolled his eyes as she laughed.

"Now you know how I feel" She sang, moving her index feelings as if she was music director guiding an orchestra.

"No but really what bug stung you, buginette? "

"Haven't you seen a drunk girl before, mon minou ?"

"You are kidding me," He said as he tried to stop himself from laughing. "This is too funny!"

"Indeed it is," She nodded and giggled once again "The world is funny like this!"

Ladybug leaned back and ended up lying on the rooftop; Chat Noir copied her position.

"I bet you won't think that in the morning," He said and turned his head to look at her, only to find her face to face.

Ladybug giggled but he was unable to move, she was so close.

"Y-you have freckles" He whispered, "On the bridge of your nose…I never noticed it"

"We are always too busy doing other things for you to notice," She said, her giggles died there. "You are prettier up close,"

"Tha-thanks" He swallowed nervous, "You too… so pretty, beautiful… you are stunning,"

"I looked stunning tonight" She agreed, smiling at a memory. he would never know that he was part of it, because he would never know her identity.

"I have no doubt of it," He smiled "Night with friends?"

"Something like that," She nodded.

Chat was too focused on her eyes to notice that she had moved her hand, but once her fingers slowly stroked his hair he was aware of every part of her. How her mouth was slightly open, how her body was slowly moving closer to him, how she moved her feet up and down. Her hand traveled from his nape to the top of his head, she started following the fractions of his face, slowly but yet clumsily touching him. That didn't bother him, he loved her soft touch but he was still very stiff.

His heart was beating faster because of the moves she was making, but once her touch reached his lips and her fingertips stayed there, his pulse exploded.

"Your lips are soft, they are cute, like you," She whispered "You are really cute, not in the adorable sense but in the handsome sense, no matter how much I try to tell myself that I don't have to think of you that way, I still do" She pressed her forehead against his and she closed her eyes "And you are so nice to me and—

Chat Noir placed a finger against her lips, making her stop talking. Ladybug smiled shyly and her cheeks stained in bright red.

"You are drunk," He reminded her.

"Not as much as I was a couple of hours ago,"

"Doesn't erase the fact that you are not making any sense,"

"I think I made a lot of sense in comparison with other drunk people," She giggled and leaned closer, her lips brushed against his cheek, if Adrien hadn't moved away she would have kissed his lips.

"I don't care, you are drunk and you are not acting like yourself, I'm taking you home"

"You don't know where I live," She said as she frowned and made a pout.

"I'll pay you a hotel then," He sighed, he sat down to be away of her; no matter how tempting her lips were, she was drunk and he was not going to kiss her in that state. He also had very contradictory feelings right now, and those were going to help the situation. The furthest he was the better.

"You are quite rich aren't you?"

"Well…

"No need to answer, your comments give you away," Ladybug said, sitting once again and resting her head on the crook of his shoulder "You smell like a rich person too,"

Chat Noir stiffed at her comment and at her closeness.

"What is the rich person smell?" He tried to sound relaxed, but she was acting too strange to be laid back.

"Ah, can't explain it, I just know," She smirked at him; at not receiving the reaction she wished she dropped the smile "What time is it?"

"Pass five probably," He said to her without looking at her.

"I guess I should go home then, no need for a fancy hotel after all" She stood up, using him as support.

"Do you need help?"

"No, I'm fine," She said giving him her back "I'll see you, silly kitty"

"Can't wait, my lady"

 **xx**

Marinette knew she was going to regret the events with Chat Noir, she knew it when they had happened, and she knew it knows. But, she still wished something would have happened, she just wasn't sure what.

When she woke up, she wished she could have slept longer, the regret of the past night was eating her alive and she had been only awake for a minute. But, sadly, destiny had other plans in mind for her, like a screaming boy inside her brain.

Apparently, he had discovered another fact about their connection: Hangovers affected the both of them.


	4. Round and Round

Marinette's mind had been quiet for too long, so when her boy spoke again she was not surprised like she was the last past times he had spoken.

 **"I** ** _hate_ ****you,"**

 **"I said I was sorry,"** Yes, she had, at least ten times in the last twenty minutes.

 **"I** ** _despise_ ****you,"**

 **"You adore me,"** She said back.

 **"** **_No_ ****, right now I hate you,"** She sighed, " **Keep drinking your water,"** He ordered.

 **"I think you are supposed to drink water in between drinks to not have such a strong hangover. it won't work now, I already failed the prevention and we have a hangover,"**

 **"We are still giving it a try, everything about alcohol and hangovers are urban myths, I swear, so we are trying. Since it is** ** _your_ ****hangover,** ** _you_** **are the one who has to drink water and then, as a result, let's hope I stop feeling thirsty and nauseous,"**

 **"I said I was sorry,"**

 **"I know… but I still don't deserve this,"**

 **"It was worse in the morning,"** Marinette reminded him.

 **"Your morning started at lunch, my morning started at seven freaking am, and it was horrible, it was worse than this but right now is still awful and I won't stop complaining until it goes away,"**

 **"You could just get over it and go for a nap,"** She suggested, she knew his answer before he thought it.

 **"No,"**

 **"You are just being petty because I'm not a lightweight and you are mad that you lost our bet"**

 **"We didn't make a bet,"** He denied.

 **"We kinda did"**

 **"No. we. Did. Not."** He said but both of them knew he was lying. **"And I'm mad because I have never given you a hangover, I've always been careful with my alcohol intake so this is extremely unfair!"**

Marinette didn't answer. She knew the reasons behind his angry behavior went beyond the physical effects of a hangover and the "unfairness" of the matter.

He was mad and worried about what had happened between them, about what she had seen inside his mind.

The hangover not only manifested on him physically, it was not just a physical connection, it was not as simple as that. Nothing ever was with them.

The hangover did not only make him feel what she felt, it had also messed around with their minds, opening every closed door and destroying every wall they had built up to hide the darkest corners of their mind.

At the pass of years, the control over their minds had evolved, not by magic or any supernatural force, just pure training.

Both learned how to builds walls and doors, locking certain places of their minds. At a very young age, they thought it was necessary to create spaces where they could keep secrets, places where they could be selfish and keep to themselves, not sharing their thoughts and feelings with the , they coached their brains to be stronger than the link they had.

Marinette could create walls and doors, lock them and keep him out, but she wasn't good at it; she could only hold the walls for a certain period of time, she usually hid little embarrassing details she didn't want him to know that after a few weeks or months her mind erased and she did not need to think about them anymore. Marinette walls were constantly disappearing and new ones appeared to replace them.

Boy was all the opposite, he was brilliant at creating rooms with advanced locks and strong walls, a true mind architect. He had been lucky enough to attend meditation classes and her mother had taught him little techniques that had helped him to have a better control of his mind. He could hide things from Marinette for years, sometimes Marinette did not even notice there were walls until they disappeared. She was always so jealous of him, she wished she could have the same control over her mind. Marinette was not terrible, but she ran out of energy rather quickly, because of that she concentrated her strength on the most important secrets, the secrets he could never ever know about. And those two rooms had never fallen apart.

Her Ladybug secret, was the "room" that consumed the most energy and it was impenetrable, she was proud of the way she had managed to lock it up. The second room was about Adrien, the walls of that room were a little cracked -as she saw it- so her boy had been able to tell she had a crush on someone. If Marinette wasn't a stuttering mess she would probably tell him all about Adrien, but she was too pathetic and she didn't want him to know that.

Those were the only rooms she had. Her boy had many, many rooms.

All of those rooms were imperfect state, they were all too big and intimidating. She was not always wondering about them, but she did have recurrent thoughts every once in a while because those rooms seemed to be sealed with titanium doors and bulletproof walls, locked with strong locks and passwords.

Those rooms today had been open for her to see.

Marinette didn't mean to spy on him, she was always respectful of his privacy even if it bothered her how many secrets he kept from her, she respected it, it was his decision and she was no one to order him around and obligate him to tell her everything. That's why their relationship worked so well, it was built on trust and respect, and that's how it should have always been.

Today she ruined that.

She hadn't meant to interlude, really; she just woke up and felt an energy calling her from one of the rooms. Before she could notice, she was inside, collecting all the secrets that flew around the room with the big dark walls and the secrets inside of that room broke her heart.

 _That_ was why he was mad and she was heartbroken.

She was mad at herself too. How hadn't she realized? Why hadn't she asked in so long? Why was he still hiding this?

When she saw those rooms that she wasn't supposed to watch, they both reacted at the same time, they both were terrified and the suffering began.

The first hours had been the hardest, thoughts flying and collapsing with each other. Him trying to build up the walls and close the doors once again, draining energy from both of them since the bond was stronger than ever, and the hangover did not make it any easier.

Marinette asked him to let it go, so they could heal together, faster and peacefully, but he didn't stop. He was determined and he wasn't going to stop until every wall was back, until every door had been locked with the strongest techniques he had.

He did not care how painful it got, he only wanted to close those dark rooms and pretend as she had never seen anything.

Hours later, when the hangover was starting to dissipate and they both were more relaxed and closer to peace, Marinette thought it was a good moment to bring the subject back. She knew he wouldn't like it but she couldn't pretend she hadn't seen what she saw.

 **"You miss your mom,"** She didn't ask, she said what she had seen.

 **"Yes,"** Thankfully, he didn't lie.

 **"A lot,"**

 **"Yes,"**

 **"You should talk to your dad… you should tell him—**

 **"No,"** He interrupted **"I don't want to talk about it, you know I don't like it,"**

 **"Well, you know what I don't like?** **_You depressed_ ****. And what I hate the most is that you hid it from me,"**

 **"We don't have to share everything! We agreed on that, that's the reason why we trained our minds,"** He reminded her.

 **"This is too big to hide it, this is serious. You need to speak with someone, you are dep—"**

 **"I'm not depressed,"**

 **"Stop interrupting me!"**

 **"These are thoughts, I can't help it. I mean, I could try, but thanks to your hangover it is impossible to do it today. Deal with it!"**

 **"Don't yell at me!"**

 **"You started!"**

 **"Because you are not making any sense!"**

 **"You are not making any sense!"**

 **"Meee?"** Marinette felt offended " **You are the one who has been hiding he is depressed, you are the one who has been childish about something serious, you are the one who is not making any sense!"**

 **"Shut up, you don't have a say in how I choose to deal with my problems,"**

Marinette tried to keep her thoughts on the lowest volume. She was hurt and angry but if she kept fighting she was going to make things worse.

She focused on closing the door in between their minds, something she had been trying to do since the hangover started to vanish, yet was still hard, as if the door was stuck and it couldn't be pushed and closed.

The loud sound and the buzzing of her phone made her come out of her mind and face the outside world once again. With her boy was throwing knives and bad vibes at her it wasn't so bad to stay away from her head.

 _Lila Rossi is calling…_

Okay, forget that.

Marinette could take the negativity of her boy with a hangover if that meant not talking to Lila, especially in the state she was right now.

It wasn't that she didn't like Lila, but she wasn't her favorite person either, ironically, Marinette seemed to be Lila's favorite person. Marinette didn't know how she won Lila's affection, yeah, she was nice to her, but so were Nino and Alya. Adrien was also nice but Lila just despised him after the Volpina incident and considering how much Marinette adored Adrien, it was hard to believe that Lila wanted anything to do with Marinette. But she did.

Lila was probably calling to apologize for not being at her birthday celebration promising her a big gift as an apology for her absence. Marinette wasn't in the mood to hear Lila ramble of how much better than anyone else's her gift would be, how she would take her out for a real celebration, or anything that Lila could come out with.

Marinette felt guilty for thinking of her like that. Lila wasn't a bad person, she was a big liar and that drove Marinette nuts, but she tried her best to not lie to Marinette and she was always nice and treated her so well… Marinette couldn't get rid of her and it wasn't because she didn't have the confidence, it was because she didn't want to break Lila's heart.

"Hello," Marinette picked up the phone, the guilt was too much.

"Ciao, amore!" Lila shouted at the other side of the line making Marinette flinch. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing okay, a little hangover but okay. What about you?"

"Oh no! I missed your first drink, you were supposed to wait for me I wanted to be there. Alya said—

"Yeah, there was a change of plans," Marinette rubbed her face with the palm of her hand. She wasn't sure what Alya told Lila but she didn't want to hear the Italian girl talk bad about Alya as she usually did. They didn't get along. Alya was nice, but her patience tended to disappear whenever Lila was around.

"Not fair! I hope you are okay, though, do you need me to help you out with something?"

"No, I'm fine, my parents are taking good care of me," Not exactly, they weren't babysitting her but they had left a plate of Marinette's favorites pastries on her trap door only a few hours ago.

Sabine and Tom were not angry at her when she woke up, but they weren't happy either. They understood the situation, and they knew they couldn't go against the inevitable, yet they weren't joyful with the fact that Alya had knocked on their door at two am with an unconscious Marinette on her arms.

They had been as loving as they always were, they prepared lunch and offered her medicine for her nausea, but they didn't stop their daily routine, which included loud noises, bright lights and a lot of movement. Marinette had asked them to stop, winning back a look, a look she would never forget, a look that basically translated to "you are eighteen now, don't expect the world to stop, learn how to deal with your problems". And she knew they were right.

"I could buy you energy drinks, they help me a lot!" Marinette looked at the glass of water beside her bed; energy drinks were a brilliant idea.

 **"Energy drinks? Keep drinking your water!"** And there he was again, just when she thought the door was closed.

 **"Energy drinks are good, you want this to be over as much as I am,"**

 **"It could make you more nauseous, which it could make** ** _me_ ****more nauseous,"**

 **"Shut up, weren't you mad at me?"**

 **"I am,"**

 **"Bye, bye then; you are better than me at closing doors,"**

"No, thanks, Lilam" She said, coming back to the real conversation she was having.

Marinette pressed the phone against her ear with her shoulder to hear Lila talking about her trip to England and all the things she had done. Marinette wasn't paying much attention -probably half of the things weren't true anyways- she was crawling on her bed and walking down her stairs to find Tikki.

"Hey, Lila," Marinette interrupted her "My head hurts a lot so I'll take a nap, I'll see you on Monday, okay?"

"Oh… okay," Marinette could imagine Lila frowning; she didn't like to be dismissed. "Goodbye, Mari,"

"Goodbye, Lila,"

Marinette placed the phone on her desk beside Tikki's little bed so the sound could wake her up, which it did.

"Marinette," Tikki grumbled "I'm tired,"

"I know and I'm sorry, I know it's my fault but-" It was the third time that evening she had apologized to her kwami "-I want to buy something, it'll be faster as Ladybug"

"You are abusing your powers, Marinette,"

"I need to be healthy, what if an akuma attacks, you don't want me in this state, do you?" Marinette put on a puppy face, making Tikki roll her eyes.

"Marinette," She said again moving her little head to the sides, but Marinette knew she had won the battle.

And so she transformed.

 **xx**

Marinette's head still hurt, but it wasn't like she expected for it to magically disappear.

Okay, maybe she had expected that her miraculous magic would help her out, it didn't but there was a plus: she couldn't hear anyone on her head, only her internal monolog, and that was better than lying in bed staring at the ceiling with bad energies infesting her mind.

Luckily, it was a cloudy day so the sun only became her enemy when it strained in between the cracks of the fluffy grey clouds. The weather was also nice, a cold breeze running through the spring heat; it was so comfortable that Marinette chose to stay out for longer.

The bottle of blue energy drink that he had on her left hand, made it hard to swing across the city, so it looked like she was doing a fleet across the rooftops at a slow pace.

Admiring the city and the people, she went down to the street a few times to take pictures with fans and to buy another bottle of energizer (an orange one this time) surprising everyone in the store. She had been outside for so long and so many people had seen her that she was amazed by the absence of akumas.

Once the second bottle of her energy drink, she thought it was time to go back home, but the possibility of listening to her boy's voice again wasn't as appealing as it always was. It was very rare for them to fight, and when they didn't they weren't about important things, they tended to be stupid fights that were resolved after minutes and other times they just forgot about them. Today it had been different, Marinette knew it and she was scared of the outcome.

She didn't want to be Marinette, she wanted to be Ladybug just a little longer because Ladybug didn't have a telepathic bond with anyone, which meant she wasn't in a fight with anyone and could enjoy the upcoming Parisian night.

The orange and pink colors of the sky were fading into blues and blacks, windows turned their darkness into light and the stores of Paris started turning on their neon signs. Little by little the city was claiming its name as the city of lights as it did every night.

Marinette wasn't foreign to the starstruck feeling the city could give you, she was used to it so she didn't pay attention to the landscape or the buildings anymore, she didn't get excited a tourist did, but once in a while the magical vibe of the city got her and she was able to fall in love with her hometown one more time.

This moment was one of those nights.

She made her way to _Montmartre_ , it wasn't the securest neighborhood on the city at those times of the day, but it was one of the best places to admire Paris at night and since she was a superhero she didn't have much to worry about.

As she jumped from roof to roof to go to the highest point of the mountain, the lights of _Sacre Coeur_ welcomed her, her eyes were still a little sensitive to light but nothing compared to the morning, and the little discomfort proved that her hangover was almost over.

She wasted no time and ran to the biggest dome on the white church. From there she watched how the light show on the Eiffel tower had begun and she swore she could hear the startled screams from every tourist.

Marinette let out a sight of happiness, she just adored nights like this. Nights when she could just stare at the horizon and be consumed by the most mundane things, with no one yelling scared, with no one running away from danger, just a peaceful night where her thoughts weren't swirling and collapsing, nights were she was at ease.

Marinette looked down, glanced at the lights on the carousel downstairs; it wasn't moving and not many people were around, it was perfect. Marinette hadn't been in a carousel in years, they were usually full of tourists and that took the pleasure out of it. It was selfish but Marinette sometimes wished the city could have a "non-tourists day", only for one day so she could enjoy her city. She knew it wasn't possible but she was allowed to dream and on nights like this when luck was on her side she was allowed to enjoy it.

She threw her yo-yo to the railing on the gazer and swung down landing a few meters in front of the water fountain. She threw her yo-yo one again, finally landing in front of the desired carousel.

Marinette's sight fixed immediately on the carousel, getting ready to run away if there was actually someone inside it that could ruin her plan, but there was no one, only lonely pink horses, and golden decorated seats. She clapped to herself and twirled on the points of her feet as a victory dance, then she ran inside of the carousel.

She took the stairs to the second floor, she used to do that as a kid so she decided it was good luck to choose the same seat. She couldn't find the horse she remembered, so she rounded the second floor, finding an unexpected surprise.

Ladybug made a sound of surprise that she knew betrayed her on the spot, making it hard to escape, she had been noticed already.

The guy who was sitting on the horse turned around.

"Ladybug?" He said at the same time she, just as confused, said his name "Adrien?"

Adrien was there, sitting on her favorite horse, what were the chances?

"Fancy meeting you here. Patrolling the city?" He said, the shadow of a smirk appearing on his lips. And that was enough for Marinette to know. Something was wrong.

She could hear it in his voice, she could see it in his eyes, she could feel it in her heart, and she wanted to know what could make Adrien's green eyes look so dead, she wanted to know what had taken away the spark inside of the green forest his eyes were, she wanted to bring that light back.

But she wasn't Marinette right now, she was Ladybug and Ladybug wasn't Adrien's friend. They knew each other, had chatted a few times, she learned how to act properly around him as Ladybug, but that was it, they weren't close.

Ladybug didn't have any business on his private life.

"Uh y-yeah," She stuttered, she wasn't sure if after the long silence she should have answered. "What are you doing here? It's not the best hour to be in this district alone, especially if you are a famous model,"

"I like this place," He shrugged. The sadness in his eyes was undeniable; he could fake to be okay and give all the fake smiles he wanted, but Marinette could see beyond every single attempt of his to cover his real feelings.

"I like it too, it was one of my favorite spots as a kid," She said, trying to start a conversation.

What she didn't expect was for Adrien to laugh.

"What?" She crooked a brow at him; crossing her arms against her chest.

"It was one of your favorite spots?" He giggled one more time, pressing his hand against his chest and leaning his head forward. His eyes were closed and his nose was crinkling, happiness was a good look on him.

"I can't believe you," Marinette couldn't help the little laugh; he was ridiculous. He could compete with Chat Noir and her guy.

The thought of them made Marinette stiff, for a short period of time she completely forgot about her boy's problem and it had been magnificent. But reality had to hit at some point, right? No surprise for those thoughts to come back when she was in front of her long time crush.

She looked back into his eyes, green eyes that made her swoon whenever she caught a glance. It wasn't that his eyes were the most beautiful green she had seen, it was because his eyes were like an enchanted forest, green, magical and tender. Eyes said more of a person that people gave them credit too.

Adrien's eyes had witnessed a grey world, they had been spectators of life-changing situations, the kind of situations that transformed light into dark, hope into despair; and still, after all those dark images, Adrien's eyes reflected a colorful world full of joy and radiance. Adrien didn't let his eyes turn into a mirror, as many others would have, no; Adrien turned his eyes into a door to a whole new world.

"Ladybug?" Adrien whispered.

"Yeah?" Marinette looked at him, not realizing how close they were.

"Are you okay? You spaced out twice in less than a minute," She was surprised at the concern in his eyes, how real it was.

As Adrien Agreste was, she didn't find surprising that he asked if she was okay, it was the polite thing to do and Adrien was always polite, but to see real interest in knowing what was wrong with her? That was new.

"Oh, no, nothing," She said; not daring to look directly into his eyes. Why was she stuttering? She was over that phase!

"It doesn't look like nothing," Adrien extended his hand at her, brushing her hair away from her face "You-you look really pretty with your hair down,"

"Thank you," Ladybug gasped.

There were no silent nights in Paris, there was always some kind of sound surrounding the city, it could be music, it could be the sound of people running against the cobbles of the street, or the honking of cars, anything but silence, yet right now at that moment, it was like the city was completely asleep and the only relevant sound was the beating of their hearts, drumming at the same tempo.

"I have a deal for you," Ladybug said, breaking the silence.

"What kind of deal?" He smirked at the suggestion.

If Chat Noir had done that, Marinette would have already slapped his shoulder and frowned at him, but this was Adrien and she didn't know how to react to it. Yes, she flirted with her, but she was Marinette when he did that. Adrien never flirted with her as Ladybug, they didn't have the confidence or the time for him to show his flirty side.

Marinette ignored his smile and kept talking, it was better if she didn't obsess over the little details.

"I will tell you what's wrong if you tell me what's wrong with you,"

"Wrong? With me? Nothing is wrong with—" his voice died at mid-sentence thanks to the look on Ladybug's eyes "Okay, I accept,"

"Perfect," Ladybug felt proud of the advance, she was scared he would react badly. "First let's get out of here, it's a little…cramped," In other words, Marinette just realized how close they were and her mind was on red alert. Too close for comfort, there should be a few meters of distance in between them, she wasn't all grace when she was Ladybug; the magic helped her out but she was still Marinette and Marinette had a tendency to fall into Adrien.

Adrien nodded in agreement, he caught her hand with his and led the way back to the first platform of the carousel.

Marinette was too busy looking at their hands to hear Adrien talk to her, but somehow she ended up agreeing to seat in one of the round seats on the carousel with an umbrella on top.

When she sat down on the inside of the red velvet chair, she looked up to the umbrella and its decoration: a garland of gold spheres shined with a low yellowish light, making the atmosphere of the carousel more romantic than she wished it; how would she concentrate when the light made wonders with Adrien's complexion. She was supposed to stare at him and not point out how handsome he looked under the lights? Of course, she was supposed to keep it to herself, the real question was if she was capable of keeping her mouth shut and not become a wreck of nerves.

"LB?" Adrien touched her hand, rubbing his thumb over the fabric of her suit

"I spaced out again?" She asked, hiding her sight from him.

"It's okay," He assured her. "Would you like me to start?"

"Please," She nodded, turning her sight to him. If he was going to speak, she was going to make sure to pay full attention.

"Okay, so what do you want to know?" He asked, still caressing her hand.

"Why are you so down? You look... sad,"

"I fought with someone I really care about today," He sighed. "I'm mad at her, if I'm honest, I'm furious but I hate to be mad at her so I just end up sad," The pain on Adrien's eyes was heartrending.

Who meant so much to him to make him look like that? Marinette was startled, and a little jealous.

"She did something to hurt you?" She asked carefully.

"Yeah, I mean no, _not exactly_ ," He stopped caressing her hand to rub his temples. Marinette felt emptiness surround her, she knew how stupid it was to think about it like that, but it didn't stop her. "She infringed my privacy and found out something she shouldn't have, then she started to give me orders as I was asking for it," He laughed sarcastically "If I wanted her help I would have asked her to give it to me,"

The words kicked Marinette on her stomach. She knew exactly how that situation could be.

"On purpose?"

"Pardon?" Adrien asked back.

"Did she invaded your privacy on purpose?" Marinette reformulated the question, more complete this time.

"I don't... know?" Adrien's brows pressed together as he frowned.

"Does she care about you?" She asked. This time, she was the one to take his hand.

"Yes," He was still frowning, but a little smile started to curve on his lips.

Marinette knew it was wrong, she knew she was supposed to support Adrien, she had to see the situation from his point of view, she shouldn't let her own worries and problems cloud her judgment. But that was how her mind worked, feelings always took the best of her.

"If she cares about you then it tells me that she didn't mean to infringe your privacy and maybe because she cares so much about you, she couldn't pretend she hadn't find out about this secret you tell me,"

"Yeah, but she didn't need to tell me what to do,"

"There's a difference in giving orders and giving advice…" Ladybug sighed "You say she cares about you, then she was giving you advice. I can assure you that,"

 _No, Marinette,_ you _were giving advice. You don't have a clue of what Adrien's friend was doing. I mean he could be talking about Chloé, do you really believe she wouldn't give orders?_

Those thoughts hit her too late, the damage was already done.

"You really think so?"

"I mean, that's how _I_ see it, you know your friend better than I do, don't listen to me, I'm having a bad day and probably I'm just projecting my feelings. How stupid, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have but—" Her rambling was interrupted by a soft kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you," Adrien said, still close to her, leaning his head to the side. His hair brushed against the curve of her ear and his lips were still close if Marinette moved they would touch her skin once again, and she would be lying if she said she didn't want that.

Marinette moved her head away as she turned to face him. Her breath got caught in her throat when her big blue eyes crashed into his. Being this close she could see a more detailed version of Adrien.

She could tell he had had a photo shoot or a public appearance because he still had a few patches of foundation on his forehead.

She could see how tired he was. Did he stay out too late last night? She knew he had a dinner with his dad but she didn't know how long it ended up being -he still had not answered her voicemail!-.

Having Adrien so close and finding out more things to like was out of this world, Marinette was sure she had entered another reality or had fallen asleep on top of the basilica and all of this was a dream.

"Your freckles are cuter up-close," When Adrien said the words, his breath crashed into Marinette's lips, making them tingle.

It was official this was a dream and one of the best dreams she had ever imagined.

"You are too," She whispered.

Adrien giggled.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?" Marinette blushed, turning away from him.

"Yeah" He nodded as he sat straight in his old posture."It was a nice thing to hear,"

Ladybug knew that she could brush her words away with a simple joke, and Adrien was giving her the perfect phrase to tease him, she did it as Marinette all the time, but the feelings of the moment they just shared were so overwhelming that her brain couldn't function correctly, making her stay in silence.

Adrien noticed the awkwardness coming from her and created a space in between them, maybe he had overstepped a little.

As Chat Noir he could do those things, they had a relationship where that kind of touches and phrases were allowed. Adrien didn't have those luxuries, he was aware of it, but tonight he had completely forgotten about it.

It felt so right to be with her on that carousel with the lights gleaming around them and the unusual peace creating a lovely atmosphere where the only sound were whispers of the city, so distant that what could have been annoying turned into calm background music. It was too perfect, and Adrien was a hopeless romantic, a card that had turned against him tonight.

Maybe he should keep talking about his problems, that's why they were sitting together, if not, Ladybug would be long gone by now.

"So, you think I shouldn't be mad at her?" He whispered.

"They are your feelings, I can't tell you what you should feel. I'm just saying that maybe you should try to see the situation from her perspective," Ladybug sighed "I don't know who is right in your situation, only you can know that, but you can't figure it out whose fault is if you don't try to see the situation from every perspective,"

Ladybug, always so clever.

"You are right," Adrien nodded "I would try to see things from her point of view. Thank you,"

"It was nothing, really it could be just dumb advice,"

"Dumb advice coming from the great heroine of Paris? I don't think so," That made her laugh.

"Under this suit, I'm a normal girl you know? I could be wrong," She shrugged.

Of course, he knew, he knew better than anyone that under those shiny super suits and amazing powers they were only two teenagers with normal lives, problems, and dilemmas.

"Still, thank you," He said, "And talking about that normal girl, what was bothering you?"

"Well—" The flash of a bright light blinded them, making Ladybug stop talking.

They covered their faces with their arms, trying to see beyond the white phosphorescent light but it was almost impossible.

"Something is wrong," Ladybug said and stood up from her seat. "Hide, don't try to go home, it would be impossible and dangerous with this light,"

Ladybug leaned into him once again and kissed his cheek.

"Be safe," And with that, she ran into out of the seat and the carousel, right into the light, that was slowly fading away only to come back once again.

"Bye," Adrien waved, giving a goofy smile.

"Ugh, you are lovesick, Adrien, it's absolutely disgusting! Last night you were drooling over baker girl, then Ladybug and this morning over your imaginary friend, and now again Ladybug? You are lucky I like you or I would have escaped, I'm not here for love,"

"Shut up," Adrien shook his hand like he was shooing a mosquito. A thing he did on regular basis at Plagg, but that he was enthusiastically doing now because when Plagg was right it was better to keep him away.

"So, how far do we let her run before we catch her?" Plagg changed the subject.

"Two minutes. She won't get that far with this light," Adrien squeezed his eyes "It had to be a bright light, uh? Just when the light wasn't bothering me anymore,"

"I still think is hilarious that she shared her hangover with you," Plagg laughed.

"It was awful…" Adrien whispered they both knew that he didn't only say it about the physical side effects.

"Ladybug was right, you know? You should try to see it from your girl's perspective… which happens to be the same as mine," Adrien blinked in surprise at Plagg's confession.

But that was a problem from another day, two minutes had already passed.

"Plagg!"

"I know, I know,"

Adrien shouted the words, a bright light surrounded him and he changed into his alter ego.

Before running into the action, he gave one last look at the carousel, now he had a new happy memory to add to the place.

 **xx**

this story was originally posted on ao3 and it's been on hiatus for a year. i plan on uploading a new chapter very soon, that's why im posting the fic here too

thanks for the nice comments and follows x


	5. The First Step

Adrien Agreste didn't like silence.

The reason was very simple: his house was always silent. No matter how many people were working inside of the mansion, it was always in complete silence. His father had never ordered everyone to keep their mouth shouts and sounds at their lowest volume, it was an untold decree that everyone followed to not get in trouble.

It had not always been like that.

When his mother was alive the atmosphere in the house had been different. Emilie was a musician, so silence was not something that went well with her. She was always playing music through the speakers, playing some sort of instrument or humming a song as she walked through the corridors. When she played with him, they would sing out loud, scream and laugh so loud that it would cause echo.

But then she died and everything changed. He hated that that change.

That was the main reason why Adrien despised silence, but there was another piece to that puzzle. Adrien didn't like silence because he wasn't used to silence. The house could be as quiet as a mouse but Adrien's head never was because she always was there.

Silence was a foreign concept and when it appeared he couldn't deal with it.

He could count on the fingers of his hands how many times he had shut his mind completely and it had become completely silent.

Today he added one time to the count. He hated the silence, he was annoyed by it but he couldn't blame anyone but himself today.

He had closed his mind after the fight, he had been the one to put on the walls and push her away. He started this.

He was lying on his back on top of his bed, his sight was fixed on the ceiling.

Plagg had appeared on his visual field, trying to mess with him–which was Plagg's way to try to make him happy- but Adrien had sent him to eat cheese or play with his video games. He wasn't in the mood for anything.

It was Sunday night and he hadn't spoken to his girl for the whole day. It wasn't normal for them to keep each other out of their minds for so long. Not on propose at least, sometimes their minds cut the communication without a warning and they spent long hours without communicating with each other, but that wasn't a problem, Adrien could tell when that happened, and by consequence he could know when she kept him out by will, just like she was doing right now.

He understood if she was mad.

Ladybug's words helped him to understand that he saw the situation from a very narrow lense and that she had already apologized many times, also that the only thing she wanted was to help. He knew her, she was worried and he had been aggressive towards her love.

He wanted to talk with her, he wanted to apologize for acting like he did. Mostly he wanted to speak with her, about anything, it did not have to be serious, he could let the subject go if she wanted to, she could talk about it if she wanted to. He just wanted her to be inside his mind.

Adrien sighed. Thinking over and over again about wanting to talk to her wasn't going to change a thing.

He tapped the covers of his bed until he found his phone between them. He took it and started scrolling through Instagram, trying to distract himself from his problems, then he changed to Twitter and then to Youtube.

He did this on repeat for a straight hour. He wasn't expecting to find anything new, after the tenth time he checked the Instagram app, but it was still entertaining to a try.

There were only two new pictures. Only one caught his attention: Alya's account, but it was not a picture of her, Ladybug or a Ladyblog update, no, this picture was of Marinette.

Marinette was wearing the little black dress he had seen her wear the other day for her birthday -that dress was an attention seeker and Adrien loved it- however, it wasn't the first thing he noticed this time. He saw her smile. It wasn't the smile Marinette always wore, it wasn't her innocent and sweet smile, and it wasn't that playful smirk or her mischievous grin. No, this smile was completely different.

Marinette's mouth was open, showing off her white teeth, which looked whiter thanks to the red lipstick. Her cheeks were stained in red, a look that Adrien was used to seeing, he always thought she was cute when she was flustered, but it had never been his favorite look on her, but now he was rethinking it.

Her eyes were closed and her nose in a wrinkle, she was probably laughing at one of Nino's jokes –who was in the picture too, but Adrien had ignored completely- she had a glass on one hand filled with a reddish liquid, and her other hand was close to her mouth.

Alya had captured the image in the perfect moment, it was a little blurry but that made it more perfect. The picture was alive. He could see Marinette move, he could hear her laugh ring as bells, he could see her hand reach for her mouth trying to muffle her giggles, he could see Marinette dropping the glass on her hand after that. The picture was perfect, not only because Marinette looked beautiful on it, but because she was happy. You could see her having fun.

Adrien felt worse than before.

He closed the app and tapped on the phone icon. He pressed Marinette's name and called again.

He had heard her voice mail only a few hours before. The stupid hangover had left him incapable of doing anything, so he had his phone away from him, he wasn't strong enough to stand the shiny light, so basically he had only take it again a few hours after dinner and then he listened to Marinette's voicemail. It was so sweet, just like she was. But now she probably thought he was ignoring her.

He should call her, Adrien didn't want to give Marinette any reasons to think badly of him. From day one the only thing Adrien wanted was for Marinette to like him, and now she did, he was sure of it now.

He couldn't ruin it, Marinette meant the world to him, and if she really was his girl, then the world wasn't enough of a measure to explain how much he cared about her.

He called.

Marinette didn't answer.

He called again.

Marinette didn't answer.

He called one more time.

She didn't pick up the phone.

Weird. What could have happened to her to not answer the phone? She was always so quick.

Oh no! What if Marinette knew it was him on her mind!? What if she had figured it out it was him and that's why she was ignoring his calls!?

 _No. Stop it, Adrien._

He couldn't assume that Marinette was his darling. He had clues, and he had this feeling in his gut that made him believe that she was but he wasn't sure. He had to stop because if Marinette ended up not being his girl he would be disappointed, and he did not want to be disappointed with his girl, she was too important to him.

He wasn't sure he could ever be disappointed in her but… he didn't want to risk it.

Actually, the one to be disappointed once they found each other was going to be her.

 ** _Don't say that, you are amazing…_**

The voice echoed across his mind and for a second Adrien thought she was back, but it was only the memory of her voice playing in his mind.

That was something his girl would have said, it was something she repeated to him every time he was mad or tearing himself down. It was something usual for her to cheer him up. If he wasn't so good at putting walls she probably would spend her whole day trying to make him happy by throwing flattering words and jokes to his mind.

But he was good, and she hadn't notice…. Until now.

Who knew he could reach another level of guilt and sadness? Not him.

Then another thought on her voice

 ** _If you feel like this, you should talk to someone, and when I say, someone, I mean your dad._**

Another sentence that he had heard many, many times; he always ignored her when she said stuff like that, he knew she was right, but he was a coward who couldn't take the advice and put it into practice.

What was the point? Things were not going to change.

They could if you spoke out your mind.

There she was again. Even when she wasn't there his mind created her.

Adrien sighed defeated.

He rolled on the bed until he reached the edge of it. His legs fell to the floor and then he started to sit down slowly. Every move he made was at the slowest pace he could manage.

Once he was standing, with sleepers on, he walked away from his bed to the door. Steps as slow as a turtle, or so he told himself.

He reached the hallway outside of his room about a minute later, and he was proud of it. But he knew, no matter how slow he moved at a certain point he was going to face his father.

Wouldn't it be better if he just did it fast? He wouldn't have to suffer more than he needed to.

He sighed once again.

"I can do this. It's time for me to do this. This has happened to me before, he won't be surprised. I can do this," He encouraged himself.

His slow steps turned into a jog.

His hands were in fists, his body stiff and his face showed how nervous he was, however, his steps were determined. He had an objective in mind and he was going to achieve it.

And while that thought ran through his head he started calling his girl.

 **"Darling!"**

 **"Darling!"**

 **"Darling!"**

 **"Darling!"**

 **"Darliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!"**

 **"Marinette?"** He tried, but it didn't work. It never worked but Adrien never stopped trying, just in case someday he got an answer. A yes or a no, it didn't matter, he only wanted an answer.

 ** _"_ ****Darling! Darling!"** He kept calling.

He was expecting her to answer his call. If she was there, with him inside of his mind things could be easier. Everything was better when she was there.

But she never answered.

He had would have to do it alone.

Another thing Adrien Agreste hated was feeling alone.

 **xx**

Marinette Dupain-Cheng hated liars.

Her parents always taught her to difference right from wrong, they taught her to be kind and considerate of other people's feelings.

They taught her not to lie.

Marinette wore those values and made good use of them every day of her life. Sometimes she was selfish and she put herself before others, but then she analyzed the situation, saw her mistake and apologize to whoever she hurt with her impulsive actions. And everyone was selfish at some moments, it wasn't not so terrible, sometimes being selfish was necessary.

Just like sometimes she was selfish, she sometimes lied –you couldn't keep a secret identity secret if you didn't lie- but it wasn't to hurt others, on the contrary, it was to protect the people around her.

She hated to lie, but she had to.

Still, Marinette hated lies and she hated liars. She hated when people created stories to make them look as something they weren't, she hated when people lied to be excused of something they did and didn't want to pay the price, she hated when people lied to get away with what they wanted. Basically, she hated the lies that were not used for a good cause.

And that was normal, wasn't it? Yes, it was, Marinette knew this.

But there was another kind of lie Marinette hated. She knew it wasn't rational to hate it, but she hated it anyways.

Marinette hated when people lied when they were feeling bad. She hated when someone was clearly suffering and they said: _"I'm fine_ ".

She understood why people did it, but she still hated it. She hated it more when it came from someone she cared deeply about.

Unfortunately for her, Adrien Agreste was the kind of person who always said he was fine when clearly he _wasn't_.

"Marinette," Nino whispered, calling for her to look at him.

She drifted his eyes to him, to pay attention to his words.

One minute without looking at Adrien wasn't going to change anything.

"What?" She mouthed, realizing Ms. Bustier had looked in their direction.

"Stop it," He mouthed back. "He said he is fine,"

Marinette opened her mouth in surprise.

"He is not," She narrowed her eyes.

"Let. it. be." Nino mouthed every word with extreme caution. He was frowning and he was pouting.

She was surprised that Nino was the one telling her this. Nino cared about everyone, but he had a soft spot for Adrien. They were best friends, it was normal to care, but Nino went a step forward.

Did this mean he knew what was wrong with Adrien? Maybe then she shouldn't worry.

But there's a big difference between what one should do and what one end ups doing.

She rolled her eyes and ignored Nino, she would take care of this later.

When the bell rang and Adrien stood up from his seat to go outside, Marinette followed him. She was doing this her way.

Luckily for her, Adrien decided to hide in an empty room instead of the men's bathroom, as he usually did. He closed the door behind him, not realizing –or ignoring- Marinette's presence.

She didn't let the closed door change her mind, she was going to talk to Adrien, she was going to discover what was wrong with him.

They had spoken Saturday night, and he had told her all about his problems, well, he had told _Ladybug_ what was tormenting him. Why? She wasn't sure, but there had been a bond of confidence in there, and she was sure that was thanks to her civilian self, so that meant that she could make Adrien talk if she tried.

Or so she hoped.

She looked at the latch on the door, unsure of how to proceed. Nino had warned her to leave Adrien alone, maybe she should listen, no matter how sure she was of her capacity to make Adrien talk, maybe the best was to leave him alone for a while. But…

" **_Please talk to me, please, please, please, please!"_** Marinette threw her hands to her head, pulling the hair on her scalp in the process.

That had been loud and it had hurt.

The wall she had put in between them had started as a solid brick wall, but she had never been good with mind tricks, especially if they were meant to keep him away, she just couldn't, her emotions interfered in the process and her mind weakened, just like the wall. This morning it had begun crumbling, letting echoes of his voice leak between the cracks, and now… now the wall had fallen apart and it had been as loud as if a thunder had struck her.

Marinette opened her eyes and saw the door once again.

Adrien would have to wait.

She ran in the same direction she had come, back to the girls' bathrooms, to hid inside one of the cubicles.

She made sure no one was coming before letting a big sigh. Leaning against the door, she closed her eyes once again and left the world outside of her mind behind.

" **_Boy?_ ****"** She could hear her mind-voice tremble.

 **"DARLING, DARLING!"** The response was immediate. If they knew each other in real life, if they were speaking face to face, she was sure he would have run to find her in a hug, and while it wasn't possible to do such thing inside of their brains, that's how his words felt; like a big, warm and lovely hug.

 **"Are you still mad at me?"** She asked with caution. It wasn't fair for him if she didn't acknowledge their past problem, she could if she had wanted to, her boy wasn't a spiteful person and he would probably act like nothing had happened only to keep talking to her, but that wasn't okay. She respected and loved him too much to just brush off his feelings to avoid an awkward conversation.

 **"No…"** It took him a while to answer, and his answer didn't sound convincing.

 **"Are you sure?"**

 **"Yes,"** This time his answer sounded truthful **"I'm mad, but not at you,"**

 **"Oh, thank you,"** The relief spread from all her body, warm like rays of sunshine in the countryside. And then she continued, he may not be mad anymore, but that didn't mean she shouldn't apologize for her behavior **"I'm so sorry. I should have never pushed you in the way that I did, it's your problem to deal and I stepped out of my place. I crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed and I didn't respect your privacy…** ** _I'm so, so sorry,_ ****"**

 **"You are forgiven, love, in fact, I'm the one who should be apologizing,"** Marinette got confused with that statement. What had he to apologize for? **"You didn't cross those lines by will, the situation lead you to it and you discovered something- that truly, I wish could still be a secret- that was meant to be found, and while I'm still sad that you know, a part of me is glad you found out… you were—you** ** _are_ ****right, I can't keep hiding it,"** He stopped and she swore she could feel his heart beating louder on her chest **"Well, I'm not hiding it anymore,"**

 **"What? What happened?"**

 **"I spoke with my father, I told him how I felt… how I've been feeling for a while. He made an appointment with a doctor the same day, and today I have my first therapy session,"**

 **"Really?!"** She tried to keep her excitement down. He didn't sound thrilled to start with therapy, but she was happy that he was getting help.

 **"Yes, before work, I gotta skip school,"** Definitely not thrilled, his mind didn't let any tear of happiness or hope drip on his words.

 **"I know you didn't want this but I promise it will help you and I'll be here for you to every step you give, I promise,"** She gasped **"I love you… remember that, okay?"**

 **"Thank you, darling. I love you too,"**

After that, they chatted about everything and anything, trying to shove away the tense feeling that lingered between them. They joked around and remembered the shared hangover in a lighter tone, bringing everything back to normal.

They were so immersed in their conversation that Marinette didn't hear the bell ring, and only remembered about classes when she heard someone entering the bathroom.

Saying a proper goodbye to warn him she was leaving, she closed her mind and opened her eyes. She fixed her hair and took a deep breath before going out.

When she opened the door of the cubicle, in front of her was Alya, waiting for her.

"Are you feeling okay?" She rose a brow a brow at her.

"Fine, just my period," Marinette gave a toothy grin "How did you know I was here?"

"I did not, I came to the bathroom and saw your shoes under the door" She smiled "Let's go back, Nino must be feeling lonely,"

"Adrien is not back?"

"No," Alya answered, "I thought you guys were together, you always seem to disappear at the same time,"

"You always say that,"

"Because it is true, you just don't see Adrien disappear because you are gone too, or you are with him and had been lying to me for years,"

"You think I would be able to hide my excitement over hanging out alone with Adrien in daily-basis?"

"Lately? yes,"

"Huh? What you mean?"

"Lately you don't seem to be head over heels in love with him, just that,"

"Because I don't stumble over my words?" Marinette asked, "It's been a while, we are friends, I learned how to act normal,"

"Is not that" Alya shook her head, "C'mon, let's go back to class. Nino must feel lonely without us,"

 **xx**

Adrien was happy –well- as happy as he could be. Talking with his girl had put him in a good mood, and helped him stay calm during the course of the day.

The little hours he had at school, had been nice after the talk, he had biology, which besides being his worst assignment hadn't been so bad. And before he left he had told Nino that they needed to talk. So school hadn't been horrible as he thought it was going to be.

Now at the photoshoot, things were also looking better.

He knew the photographer and the concept of the campaign didn't make him uncomfortable, the clothes he was wearing were a little warm for the weather but nothing unbearable and the best thing was that he wasn't alone in the photoshoot, there were six other male models, and he was friends with three of them!

Instead of long boring shoots, like the ones he was used to, the session had become a little party. Adrien was eating from the food table –which he wasn't usually allowed to, but Nathalie must have softened up after hearing of the therapy sessions- he was joking, and laughing with his friends and he could hear his girl humming a sweet song on his mind.

Maybe his girl had been right from the beginning.

"Hey, Adrien!" A voice behind him said as a pair of hands touched his shoulders.

"Hi, Luka," Adrien tried to pull out a normal smile at the model.

He was tall and lean, his black hair was styled in a messy way that made him look like he only woke up a few minutes ago, and he was rocking black eyeliner making his blue eyes pop. He was incredibly handsome.

Adrien never felt threatened by better-looking guys, he never felt it was a competition so he wasn't terrified of handsome guys as Nino and Nathanaël had once admitted to him, but when this one smiled at him Adrien felt something burst inside of him, exposing every nerve of his body, and he did, in fact, felt terrified, or that was the closest emotion he could think of. But that wasn't jealousy.

It wasn't the first time Adrien felt this way, but he only had started to worry about it when he turned fifteen. He didn't like to speak up about this kind of things, these overwhelming emotions that popped into his mind and showed on his body; his girl had mentioned once but at the abrupt and aggressive reaction Adrien had given (something he promised he would never do again) she never brought it up again, difference to his kwami, who never missed a chance to talk about it, and that always ended up in a fight.

He looked down for one second, trying to shake the feelings out of his body, then he turned around to look at his friend.

"How was the shoot?" Adrien asked.

"You weren't watching me? I'm a little offended, Agreste" He frowned at him, leaning a little bit closer.

"Your beauty could have blinded me and I need my eyes" _WHAT?!_

 **"** **_Oh my God!_ ****That was awful, you didn't even try!"** She was laughing, he could tell.

 **"How did you get here? Goodbye!"** He made sure to put on a thick wall between them, he hadn't realized he had put his guards down.

Luka was smiling amusedly.

"Next time then," He winked and sat beside him. "All of you are done?" Luka asked, acknowledging the other models.

"Only Adrien and Tristan, but he already left, he had another shoot scheduled" Mario, one of Adrien's oldest friends answered.

"Oh, he is been very busy lately, of course, " Luka said, his eyes fixed on him "You busy?"

"I have somewhere else to go, but since I wrapped up earlier I think I got a few minutes"

"Awesome! Since you are eating all these junk you got no problem with going for ice cream?"

"Uh…sure?"

And that's how Adrien found himself outside a café, licking a cone of ice cream and with more problems than he had before.

"Is it too cold?"

"A little," Adrien chuckled.

"I can tell, you wrinkle your nose when you are cold,"

"Have you been watching me?"

"Maybe…"

"Maybe? For you to recognize that little detail about my nose, I think you should have been staring me a lot," Adrien said in a playful tone.

"Well, you are quite a view," Luka gave him a toothy smile.

"Could say the same" Adrien didn't know where that came from. Yeah, he could be flirty, he was always flirting with Ladybug, Marinette and with his girl, but they were girls. Lukas was a guy, why was he flirting with a guy? He liked girls, girls, he liked Mari and Ladybug, girls, pretty girls. But hey Luka was a pretty guy; he could appreciate a handsome guy, of course, he could, and Luka was not only handsome, he was stunning, all manly and cute at the same time.

Okay, he was fucked.

He had admitted that he was depressed, why was it so hard to admit that he could be attracted to Luka? To guys in general?

They had met each other for a year and a half, they had gotten along since they were introduced on one photoshoot for Gabriel's spring collection and they have kept contact outside of work, yet they had never been close. Maybe it was because being around him made him feel uneasy.

And before he could tangle more on his thoughts, he realized how close Luka was and from that moment was only seconds before Adrien Agreste had his first kiss.


	6. Kiss and Tell

Adrien Agreste had a hate-love relationship with akumas and the existence of Papillon.

Adrien thought about this subject many, many times, because how could a superhero have a relationship that involved love when it came to an enemy? It did not make much sense for a superhero to want people to get attacked, but without any enemies or disaster, there's no need for superheroes. So, if Papillon did not exist, then there wouldn't be akumas, and if there were not akumas, there would be no need of Ladybug and Chat Noir. Without Papillon's maniac desires to get their stones, Adrien would have never turned into Chat Noir.

But that's how it was, and every superhero should have a hate/love relationship with his enemy, since, you know, without enemies, there's no need of a superhero. And not becoming a superhero would have kept his life just the same, and he hated to imagine that his life could still be awfully boring, kept inside that cold house. He did not like to imagine a life without Ladybug.

So, yeah, in part he was thankful Papillon existed, because he, indirectly, gave him a chance to live his life the way he always wanted to live it, his awful existence made his freedom possible.

They were selfish thoughts, but he was not going to deny them, and he was not ashamed of them. It was natural to feel that way.

But, today he felt a little bit ashamed.

Luka had kissed him and Adrien had kissed him back.

He didn't know how it had happened, only that Luka's lips here on his, cold from the ice cream they were eating, but also extremely soft and sweet. And Adrien's body had answer automatically, his body leaned against his, and his lips had moved along with Luka's mouth.

Adrien had never kissed anyone before, but he didn't feel nervous about kissing Luka he knew he wasn't going to say anything. And if it felt that good it couldn't be wrong, right?

It was different from what he had imagined it would be. Movies and books described kisses as something so magical and ethereal, with romantic music and sparkling hearts on the background, and while it was fantastic –more than fantastic, Adrien couldn't put into words the overwhelming feeling jumping on his chest- it felt normal, and natural, something that was meant to happen.

Also, Luka was soft and Adrien could feel him smiling against his mouth. He ran his fingers through his blonde hair and laughed mid-kiss, telling him something Adrien did not understand but that made him laugh too. It was impossible to stop kissing him when the feeling made Adrien want to burst, kissing really was something else.

But, it didn't last long as Adrien thought it would.

The kiss ended with both of them opening their eyes and staring at each other. Luka granted him a pleased smirk and Adrien felt his cheeks get warmer, they were probably colored in the shade of his cherry ice cream.

Looking into Luka's blue eyes something cracked inside of Adrien, something very precious and fragile.

"Luka, I…" But Adrien wasn't able to finish his sentence when a high pitched scream pierced the air.

The only explanation for such a big outroar was an akuma, and Adrien had never been happier to know that he actually had to find a way to escape. Because if it wasn't for duty, he would have never been able to escape, as much as he wanted to.

And that's why Adrien felt a little bit of shame.

Thanking Papillon wasn't something he should do, but sometimes it was inevitable. Today had been an example of that.

He didn't remember quite clearly how he got rid of Luka. His mind had been working at light speed, trying to get him somewhere safe to be able to go and transform on another place, so he could go help Ladybug, who was already doing her best to stop the akuma.

It didn't matter now, he left Luka in a safe place with more people who were trying to avoid the akuma's path, and he managed to find an empty alley where he was able to transform, he had found Ladybug and they had defeated the akuma.

Everything was fine once again… then why didn't it felt like it?

Chat Noir sat on a rooftop, his back pressed against one of the pipe walls that decorated the Parisian landscape, letting his body drop as he sighed and looked at the horizon.

He began counting the clouds in the sky, to keep his mind occupied with something that wasn't the regrets of the day. He wanted to lose himself on something before reality hit him again. In other circumstances, he would try to talk to his girl, but since being transformed didn't let him connect with her, the clouds were his only distraction.

Clouds were nice, they were cotton on the sky that swirled in different shapes for him to imagine. He and his girl would spend hours cloud sighting and tell each other the shapes they saw. Once they believed to see the same cloud and had tried to found each other in the crowd they were in, but it had been in vain. Clouds were not a reliable source.

"You are avoiding me," He didn't bother to turn around. Who else but Ladybug hanged in rooftops?

Also, he would recognize her voice anywhere.

"I'm not," He simply answered, waiting for her to sit by his side.

"You barely spoke to me while we fought and you disappeared right after the akuma was defeated… you didn't fist bump with me," Her voice had started strong and confident, just like she was, but it had died down in the last part of the sentence.

He turned around and looked at his partner.

Ladybug had her head down, her shoulders were stiff and she was hugging her legs close to her chest, almost as she was trying to hide or about to break in tears.

"I'm sorry, bug," He said sincerely, he passed his arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer to him "I didn't realize. It wasn't my intention," He lifted his fist. " _Bien joué!"_

But Ladybug didn't react, she was static on her place.

" _Buginette?"_ He tried again, moving his hand in circular motions.

"Is about the other night, isn't it? We haven't spoken about it, I know you wanted to say something at the battle we had before this one but I kept brushing it off, and now I made things uncomfortable and you're avoiding me. I'm sorry, I crossed a line, and please, don't say it's fine because I know that is not,"

"But, _it is fine_ " His lips curled in a loopy smile, "I know you feel guilty, but it is fine, we are fine,"

"Promise?" She finally looked at him again. Her eyes were sparkling with hope.

"Promise," He nodded.

Ladybug smiled brightly, finally accepting the fist bump.

" _Bien joué!"_ They said at the unison.

Chat Noir, happy with having handled that so quickly, turned his sight back to the clouds. What apparently had been the wrong thing to do because Ladybug realized something was going on with him that had nothing to do with them.

"If it's not about _our_ problem –who we already fixed, don't give me that face- then why are you acting so gloomy? Did something happen to you out of costume?"

"A lot has been happened" He nodded "In fact, I really should go,"

"Then why haven't you?" Damn. Ladybug knew him too well.

"Has someone ever told you that you make too many questions?" At Ladybug's surprised expression, Chat decided to continue immediately before she apologized for something she didn't have to, "I'm kidding, bug,"

"If you don't want to talk about it, I can just sit here with you until you decide to leave," She offered.

"Thank you," Ladybug smiled at him and leaned to leave a kiss on his forehead.

Instead of staying in silence like Ladybug expected him to be, he decided to tell her everything. He still could make it on time to his therapy session, but he didn't want to, he wanted to talk with someone he did know and contacting his girl could take him hours.

"Mm… a guy kissed me today," He let it out, without rambling.

Ladybug's body turned rigid, he could feel it, and she rotated her body to be away from him. At first, he took it as a bad sign. Too scared to look into her eyes for what she could think of him.

But that wasn't the Ladybug he knew, and he shouldn't have had those thoughts.

She cupped his cheeks with her hands and made sure that he was looking at her before leaving a kiss on his cheek. Then, backing away she smiled before talking.

"Okay, is this a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know how I should react, you seem concerned but not mad so…"

"It's a good thing, I guess?" He moved closer to her "Just… it was my first kiss—

"No, it— your first kiss? I wouldn't have guessed" Something about her voice had been strange, but Adrien was too deep into his own problems to notice it.

"I know I'm a heartbreaker, my lady, but believe it or not, this kitty was waiting for the perfect person to arrive," He answered and something stung on his heart.

"So was this guy the right person?" Ladybug rose a brow.

"No. Yes? I don't know," He huffed "It's complicated, Ladybug. I've never talked about this sort of thing with anyone, not even my best friend"

"The kissing thing, or the guy thing?"

"The… the guy thing," He cleared his throat, "I mean, I think he knows, he has made certain comments that led me to think that he suspects but I just, I couldn't say anything because—

"You weren't sure?" Ladybug asked.

"Yeah," Chat Noir nodded and blew a raspberry "No, I mean I _was_ sure, but at the same time I did not want to be sure. It's complicated, you know? I did enjoy the kiss but… I'm still not sure…"

"That's okay," She smiled kindly, getting closer to him she brushed his bangs away from his face, "You'll figure it out and things will start to make sense. I just want you to know that you are not alone. You can talk to me about it. I don't know what you are feeling, I haven't felt that kind of confusion, but I want you to feel safe when you speak to me about it because I would never judge you or stop loving you, no matter what you found out about yourself"

"What if I'm a psychopath?" He asked, winning a hit on his shoulder from the spotted superhero "Sorry,"

"I was being serious!" She said rolling her eyes, trying to stop the smile that was threatening to appear on her lips.

"I know, bug, and I love you for that,"

Ladybug smiled again and threw her arms around him, giving him a tight loving hug.

"I liked kissing him, I think I would do it again but is that because I have never kissed anyone before and that felt damn good or because I want to kiss _him?_ " He kept talking, he had already started and he trusted Ladybug, "Do I regret it because I'm confused and I wish I wasn't? Or because he wasn't the person I imagined would be my first kiss?"

"I can't answer that, _chaton_ , that's for you to figure out," Ladybug caressed his cheek. "I have to go now, I'm supposed to be somewhere else, but we can keep talking about this later at our spot,"

"Sure," He nodded and stood up, extending his hand to help Ladybug. "I missed a really important appointment today so I'm not sure if I can sneak out tonight. If I'm not there past midnight just go home, okay?"

"Okay," She nodded.

Before throwing her yo-yo and swing out of the rooftop, Ladybug gave him one last hug.

Chat Noir watched her leave with a big smile on his face.

He hadn't told her all of his worries, and he hadn't gone deep on the subject as he wished he would, but it had been a beginning, and for that he was grateful.

He left the rooftop minutes later, running in the direction of the school. He had missed the session, but he was in time for fencing practice and he really needed a distraction and a catalyzer for the stress.

 **xx**

Fencing practice had been exactly what Adrien needed.

He managed to dodge Nathalie's scolding and convinced her to let him stay at practice and go back home alone. He had no idea how he managed to convince her so fast, maybe after all these years, Nathalie had finally softened her cold heart. He knew she loved him, but it was never so easy to get what he wanted, Nathalie wasn't easy to manipulate, or so he thought.

Whatever it was, he was thankful.

Practicing, jumping and attacking someone with a sword had been exactly the things he needed, and now he was drowning in endorphins, he felt great!

Making his way down the changing room, he joked with his friends as he took his bag out of the lockers, making sure Plagg was still there and hadn't run to misbehave somewhere else. But he wouldn't mind if that was the case, he felt really happy and relaxed.

His problems hadn't disappeared but at least he felt like he had dropped a weight off his shoulders.

" ** _Someone's happy!"_** His girl sing-song in the middle of a giggle.

 **"A little bit,"**

 **"Happy to hear! Last thoughts I read of you had me a little worried. Everything is fine, right? You are not faking this happiness?"**

 **"No, it is—"** He looked behind his back, only a few mates remained in the locker room **"—Have you ever kissed anyone, girl?"** He was surprised that the question had popped out so swiftly on his thoughts, he had been nervous to ask. With Ladybug had been easy because she had asked, she had started the conversation. But, they spoke about anything, it was normal to have close to no filter.

 **"Have you?"** Okay, she was on board, he could go further.

 **"I asked first,"**

 **"Well, yeah I have, but I don't think it counts,"** Was that sadness on her thoughts? What was the story behind it? And what was that piercing sensation on his heart? Was that a hint of jealousy?

 **"Why wouldn't it?"**

 **"Because the circumstances weren't exactly romantic—"**

 **"A kiss must always be romantic?"** He cut her thoughts.

 **"No,"** Her thoughts stopped. It felt like she had sighed. **"But I wished my first kiss would have meant something,** **for both of us,** **"** He wasn't meant to hear that last part, he realized the difference of volume in her thoughts. He loved her and respected her so he pretended he did not hear it. That didn't stop him from asking other things.

 **"Oh,"** He gasped **"You didn't like him or…"**

 **"I liked him. I** ** _like_** **him a lot, but we didn't kiss because I liked him… ugh, it's complicated, and I don't want to talk about it,"**

 **"It's okay, we don't have to,** " He wasn't sure he wanted to hear about this boy anyways. It felt like whiskey burned his throat every time she spoke about anyone else but him as her love interest. He knew it was wrong, she didn't belong to him but that didn't stop the feeling, no matter how hard he tried.

 **"Why do you ask?"**

 **"Uh… I kissed someone for the first time today, but maybe it doesn't count,** "

 **"Why wouldn't it count?"** He didn't need to see her, he could imagine her smiling in amusement, now that she had the chance to ask the same thing to him " **Was it for your job?"**

 **"No, it was a real kiss, with a real guy it's just… it didn't last much,"** Though he had never brought the subject to the table, and he had never confirmed anything, she knew about his dilemma. It was still scary to talk about it, he was not sure if her old reactions were actually true, so when she didn't make a big deal of it, he relaxed.

 **"A kiss is a kiss no matter how long it last,"** Adrien felt a nauseous feeling in his stomach, a feeling that he couldn't name. A part of him knew it didn't come from him, but he ignored it, " **Was** **it the guy you failed at flirting with today?"**

 **"I did not fail!"** He complained **"Yeah, we were out. I didn't realize it was a date,"**

 **"I thought you liked him, or so it seemed from this side of your mind,"**

 **"I do like him. He is handsome and funny and smart, I always have a great time when he is around, but—"**

 **"You don't like him like that,"** She completed, **"Then, why did you kiss him?"**

 **"I guess I was curious?"** Why was so hard to land on the solid ground? Why did every aspect about this side of him felt out of reach? **"I hadn't kissed anyone before and when he kissed me I kissed him back, and it felt right, it was wonderful, maybe I don't have the experience to say this but he was a wonderful kisser, and thought it didn't last long it was great! But, I don't think I wanted to kiss** ** _him_** **, I don't regret it. I don't know is confusing, I don't think it makes sense"**

 **"It's not confusing, feelings act in odd ways, and it's normal to feel pulled toward two different beliefs. Don't worry much about it, it makes sense you can't see it because you're the one who feels it,"**

 **"But it counts as a kiss?"**

 **"I'm sorry, it does,"**

 **"You must think I'm an idiot,"**

 **"I don't. You know I don't. I understand you,"** She assured him **"Is because you like someone else?"**

 **"C'mon, you know that can't be it! I'm engaged,"** He joked but the atmosphere of his thoughts was sad.

 **"Don't joke about it,** " She said. It was clear that she didn't want to get more into the subject. It was a weight that both of them had been holding on their minds for too long, and apparently, one that they weren't ready to drop. " **Trust me, tell me about this person you like,"**

 **"Oh… she… I… it is complicated, I don't know,"** Complicated was staying short. A year ago he would have rambled about Ladybug but things had changed, his feelings had changed. He couldn't figure them all so he couldn't explain them. ****

**"A few of your thoughts have crossed walls and I ended up hearing them… you think she is perfect and unreachable,"**

 **"Because she is,"** _They_ are.

 **"But lately she's been paying attention to you, I heard something similar to that from your thoughts while hangover, sorry,"**

 **"It's okay, you already apologized,"** He said sweetly **"And about her, I'm not sure, I never am. Sometimes I feel like I just see what I want to see and there are so many things going on, babe,"** That was about Marinette as much as it was of Ladybug, so technically he wasn't lying.

 **"Don't call me, babe,"** She hadn't thought that with anger, she only wanted to let him know another one of her boundaries, and lately, any cute had become a big NO.

 **"I'm sorry, darling, it came out natural,"**

 **"'s fine,"** She sounded happy again **"My best friend's boyfriend calls her that so it's is kind of weird to me to associate it with boy-who-is-a-friend instead of boyfriend"**

 **"I understand, my best friend calls her girlfriend 'babe' so I see where you are coming from,"**

 **"Mhm… okay, where were we?"**

 **"The girl I like, that just so you know has nothing to do with the actual subject we were discussing,"**

 **"It has everything to do with that,"**

 **"Why?"**

 **"Because is the reason why you regret the kiss,"**

 **"No, it is not,"**

 **"Ten minutes ago you were an insecure mess, and now you sound so sure,"**

 **"Because I am,"** He sighed **"I wasn't joking when I brought up our 'engagement' God, this is going to sound so stupid to you,"**

 **"I've been on your mind since I was born, it is impossible that I could hear something more stupid than your 12-year-old thoughts,"**

 **"I could surprise you,"**

 **"** ** _Boy,_** **"**

 **"I regret it because…. I... I regret it because it wasn't** ** _you,_** **"** And that was the truth, once he said it he realized that was what had been bothering him this whole time.

 **"** ** _Wha-what?"_**

He felt like he was choking, but he wasn't… what was going on? He touched his throat, the strange feeling was still there but softer. He ignored it.

 **"** ** _See?_** **Stupid!"**

 **"No, no, it's not, it's just,** ** _why me?"_**

 **"When I was little I always thought you were going to be my first kiss, you are the person I know better than anyone and someone I love with all my heart. It's stupid because I have liked people and wanted to kiss other people but somehow my brain still associated my first kiss to you,"** He **"How stupid can I be, uh?"**

 **"It is not stupid… you wanted your first kiss to be special, you wanted to kiss someone you really loved,"**

 **"I guess…"**

 **"It's not stupid,"** She repeated **, "Don't count it."**

 **"Huh?"**

 **"Don't count this kiss, it wasn't a real kiss. One day you're going to kiss someone and it's going to be perfect, you are going to feel everything you want to feel and it's going to be your real first kiss,"**

Adrien felt a little tingling on his lips, something odd and unknown and yet it felt familiar. A bulb lightened up on his brain.

 **"** ** _Darling?"_**

 **"Yes,** ** _pretty boy_** **?"**

 **"How does a real kiss feel like?"** He asked, curiosity flowing through his word and a vivid image of who he would like to kiss his mind.

The image the boy was sending was blurry but Marinette could see on her mind, somehow she still recognized what he was trying to imagine. Marinette decided to ignore it and focused on the question.

She stuttered her answer. Her only reference was the stupid kiss on Valentine's Day, almost four years ago. It had felt amazing, she couldn't lie. A kiss was a kiss no matter the circumstances and Chat Noir knew how to kiss, and she liked Chat Noir, even then she liked him so badly, but he did not know about it, he would never know about it.

 **"I… d-don't know,"** She gasped, **"I told you my first kiss wasn't exactly a kiss,"**

 **"** ** _Lie to me, darling,_** **"** Marinette always wondered how his thoughts could sound so… _sensual._ It was like he was there, whispering in her ear with his husky voice, the words swirling and echoing in her ears as if they were on an empty room with little illumination. **"Pretend it meant something and help me out with this. Please, I don't have the trust to ask these kinds of questions to anyone else but you,"**

Marinette closed her eyes in frustration when he asked things in that way she couldn't say no.

 **"It's awkward… at first…I mean you are placing your lips above someone else's and you feel the warmth of his mouth and there's this moment when you don't know if you should move to the left or right because you can't know what the other is thinking, well…"** Marinette breathed sharply. Her first -and only kiss- hadn't been a big make-out scene, it had been a little kiss, exactly what she already had described. So she did something she swore she was never going to do when the door was open to _him_. She brought Adrien into the picture. How many times had she dreamed of kissing Adrien? She couldn't recall. And along the years, they had become closer, they had been at parties together, they had danced and talked and… Marinette could describe the way she felt around him as a kiss, after all, her boy asked her to _lie_ **"Then it's a thunderstorm of emotions, you are happy and warm inside and you are so afraid that you could do something wrong that you are a wreck of nerves,"** She heard him laughing with joy, **"And sometimes you mess up, and the kiss gets awkward but it still feels… wonderful,"**

 **"I bet a kiss of your lips would be more than wonderful,"** Marinette knew he didn't mean for her to hear that. After all these years, she could point out which thoughts were accidental. This one was one of her favorite accidental thoughts, so sweet and flirty at the same time, it was like Chat Noir.

Oh no, not now, first Adrien and now Chat? She had to stop.

Why couldn't her brain stop throwing these images into her brain? Since when emotions took over the rational parts of her head; okay they always had but now it was ridiculous. And why did it felt so good to hear that? Why did her limbs felt numb and hot?

A liquid sensation dropping across her body, making her lips feel alone, making her skin tingle begging for a touch she couldn't give. Something inside her was burning, as it was trying to do smoke signs for someone to give back an answer in the form of a touch.

She knew this sensation but she didn't want to admit it out loud, it was too embarrassing.

 **"Darling…Darling, you are making white noise,"** He warned her.

 **"I'm sorry,"**

 **"No, I'm sorry, I made you uncomfortable,"**

 **"It's not that, I'm not uncomfortable,"** Not exactly.

 **"You are not? Really? Your thoughts are such a mess that I can't tell if you are telling the truth or not…**

 **"It's the truth… I just…"** Marinette chew her lip **"Is the kiss memories, just that,"**

 **"What does that mean?"**

 **"Well…"** What lie could she tell to cover her guilt, and mostly, her embarrassment? Marinette couldn't think straight, she was starting to hear only her thoughts and only a few whispers from him.

She bit her pinky nail and pulled her hair, she always did that when she was nervous. She played with her pinky nail around her lips, trying to organize her thoughts when above all the white noise she was creating, a shout made her pay attention to him once again.

 **"It's happening again**!" He shouted and only by him saying that Marinette realized that something that had happened only a few years ago and in a more inopportune situation was making a comeback **"I feel you pulling my hair and I feel the softness of your hair on my fingertips!"**

Marinette didn't need an explanation of what he felt, she was living it.

She felt the hair on her fingers but it was thick, it was hair that didn't feel like hers did, hair that was too short to be hers.

 **"This is so bizarre!"** Marinette shouted in anguish, yet she let out a giggle.

 **"I know,"** He laughed back.

She could feel a hand rubbing the back of her neck, and thought it should be unsettling, it felt amazing.

 **"** ** _Boy,"_** Marinette whispered. Guided by the warm sensation that began on her stomach and spread across her body, she slowly let loose the hair on her fingers, and her hands moved to the front of her face. She looked at her skinny fingers, with scars and burns consequence of the falls and the rope of the yo-yo. She took a big breath and placed her index finger against her mouth **"I think I can show you how a real kiss feels like,"**

 **xx**

Adrien wasn't ready for the words that echoed in his mind, not coming from the sweetest and familiar voice of his lovely girl. And if he wasn't ready for the warning words just imagine him collapsing at the moment he felt two soft fingers against his mouth and tingling in his own fingers that were feeling warm and tender lips.

The first finger moved along his upper lip while the other stayed pressed against the lower one.

At the same time he felt her fingertips on his mouth, he felt her lips against his fingers. They were chapped but remained soft, he couldn't be sure but he swore there was still a bit of lipgloss on the corner of her mouth.

Her fingers moved in slow strokes, defining the shape of his lips this time with both fingers going left and right, in circles, and up and down, settling a rhythm.

Then they stopped and Adrien felt grateful and frustrated at the same time.

Grateful, because Adrien had been "talking" with her in the middle of the changing room of school and he was sure he looked ridiculous just standing there, head looking at the floor, arms hanging at his side and in plain silence, and frustrated because her touch felt too good.

 **"Darling,"** He said it out loud and on his mind. When she didn't answer, he took his sports bag, hanging it on his shoulder. He closed the door with all his strength and walked to the exit door, realizing all of his fencing buddies had already left.

He sighed and kept walking, looking at his shadow on the ceramic floor, the sun straining of the windows and warming his scalp, not helping at all at the warmest he wished could just go away now that she was gone.

 **"I'm here,** ** _darling,"_** Her ringing voice appeared once again, making Adrien jump at the surprise, she never had called him darling before.

 **"I thought you had left me,"** He answered trying to sound dramatic.

 **"Never,"** She said and her touch was back. A little pinch against his lips, warm flesh on his fingers; Adrien had to stop walking, the sudden touch made him fluster and his brain apparently had stopped working.

He rested his back against the cold wall and dropped his body to the ground to end up sitting with his legs crossed.

Her moves changed once again, now her fingers were touching more lips surface, slowly opening her mouth and touching wet flesh.

It felt surreal, he wasn't there with her but she was touching his lips, she wasn't in front of him but he was feeling her warm lips against the fingertips of his middle and index finger.

As if she wasn't killing him already, only with her touch, she apparently had decided to add a companion. Her tongue moved against her upper lip in a slow and seductive motion; that movement won the biggest price in the ludicrous Olympics, but it also won the price for the most amazing experience Adrien Agreste had ever had on his life.

He couldn't tell anymore what was his and what was hers. Was his tongue against her lips or her tongue against his? It didn't matter it felt wonderful and he couldn't handle the sensuous situation anymore, he couldn't just be a viewer of it, so his body took over his rational state. Adrien bit his lower lip gently.

He didn't hear a word on his mind coming from her but he did felt the surprise and the arousal taking over her. He kept biting and slowly releasing his lower lip, lips that had become _her_ lips.

And then he didn't know what was going on.

She was sucking her lower lip but he felt like her mouth was devouring his, and he was touching his lips but felt her petite lips. More bites from her, from him, soft touches, tongues twisting, a dance of movements that tangled and complemented each other.

Adrien couldn't put it into words, at least not at that moment when he was consumed by the ghost touches around him.

Her feelings mixed with his, the sensations were multiplied by a thousand. It was like a fire was sliding down his veins, boiling his blood, making every part of his body feel hot.

He felt like he was running out of breath, but he didn't want to stop. His senses were not in the real world anymore, they were on her and how he could feel her without her being there. But that wasn't enough…

His eyes were closed, he was creating a face on his mind to tie with those sensual and sweet touches. The feeling was wonderful but he needed just a little more, he didn't want a blurry face, he wanted his girl's face.

Inside his mind, an image popped up. First appeared tiny rosy lips, rosy lips that would be swollen if this was a real kiss, soft porcelain skin as one time she had described, little freckles on the bridge of her nose, big blue eyes, the bluest blue he could imagine and long dark hair. Beautiful, lovely, adorable, the prettiest girl on earth.

He could see her in front of him, on top of him, taking his lips and his self-control with her soft and killer touches that were crossing lines and running through a different path than the chosen initially.

He felt an open hand against his neck, giving slow strokes that were going down. He felt the hand on top of his chest, he felt his hand touching a more voluptuous chest and his fingers itched with excitement. His face was hot, as well as his whole body.

This was not happening, yet it was the most real thing he had ever experienced.

Her touches were shy but the image of what she was doing while they were "kissing" made him burst into flames, letting a moan escape his mouth.

He could feel her, her soft skin against his hands, trembling at her touch. Adrien placed his hands against his pectorals. It felt great to have her hands on him but to have her hands on what could be her breasts, not matter in the bizarre way he was doing it, it was just great.

His arousal multiplied when hers did.

His breath turned uneven, it was worse than before but he couldn't stop, he didn't want to.

He kept his hands on his chest, squeezing and touching, not feeling himself anymore, only her against his hands. Feeling how her hands rambled down, down, down.

" ** _Damn it, darling!"_** She didn't answer but he didn't care because he could feel how the world was starting to be more colorful than it was before.

His hands were still on his chest but her hands were not there anymore, they were way down, and making different motions. Motions that Adrien could feel on his fingertips, motions that he did not understand but that were doing a number on him too.

Adrien did not move his down, he came back to his lips, he felt like he could not cross that line, no matter how much he wanted to.

The world started to spin around for her, with meant that it was starting to spin around for him too.

His body hurt, especially his pelvis, it hurt, but it hurt in sweet pleasure. Feeling her hand stroking on the hardest part of him was something he would never be able to forget, and as much as he wanted it to last forever, none of them were able to contain themselves any longer.

It was like somebody had cut a tense wire and let it snap. There weren't sparks or fireworks on his mind, just sweet release making his body numb and their minds empty. His vision was blurry and he could hear the distant grown that he was sure had come out of his mouth.

Adrien dropped down to the floor, his cheek pressing against the cold floor, too tired to stay sitting straight.

That was different to anything he had ever felt in his life. That was not a normal orgasm, that was way too powerful to be. Maybe it was different because someone had actually been there with him?

" **Well, darling"** He swallowed, he tried to have a rhythmic breathing once again, but it was proving to be harder than he thought " **That was one hell of a kiss,"**

 **"Uh…"** Her voice echoed **"It is still bizarre,"** Her words were trembling, but they were clear enough for him to hear.

 **"Yeah, it is…like everything with us,"** He said. **"I enjoyed it very much, darling. Is that wrong?"**

 **"No… I liked it too,"** He felt her fingers against his mouth once again, " **As you said, one hell of a kiss,"**

They kept quiet after that, only feeling each other in their minds. Too tired and too embarrassed to talk, too worried about what would be the consequences of this blissful event.

xxxx


	7. After

It was an understatement to say that things had not been the same after the strange situation they had shared. The "incident" as now they called it. Maybe things would have been better between them if they had spoken about it, but they did not. It was awkward and it was out of the comfort zone they had so carefully created for years.

They had seen each other's private and more intimate thoughts and sometimes the connection allowed the other to see parts of their life, private moment that were not meant to be seen. Inconvenient moments, like that time Marinette found out that masturbation was a thing, because her boy had been doing it and his thoughts had crossed her mind. She did her best to keep that memory out of her mind, as far as she could.

They had learn how to handle it, and when a similar situation had happened they knew what to do. This "incident" was a whole new level and they did not know how to react, because it had not been an accident, they were both conscious and willing to participate.

They didn't step back, they didn't ask the other to stop, it was all because they wanted to do it. So how could that be an incident?

Marinette thought about it all the time, she couldn't put it aside, no matter what they were talking about, the images and feelings of it were running around her mind like a broken record stuck in a radio car.

It made the conversations with him uncomfortable because she was more focused on hiding those thoughts that in the conversation they were having.

On the bright side, she was better at hiding her emotions and creating walls around her thoughts now. Marinette wasn't sure why it was so easy to do it now, but she didn't complain. These thoughts were to private and until they didn't disappear she would continue building walls.

Still, it was frustrating. It had been almost two months for god's sake. They were already in April, she should be worrying about her last months of school, about exams and university, but no, there she was thinking about how magnificent it felt to have mind sex- Ugh, even thinking about it that way was bizarre, but how else could she call it?- and at the same time how weird and confusing it was for her feelings.

The last year had been full of confusing feelings. Do _I still like Adrien? Do I like Chat Noir now? Do I feel something about him or it's just his constant presence in my head that makes me feel like I need him?_ Now it was worse.

" **I finished it,"** The voice echoed in her head.

" **Huh?"** Marinette asked. She rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times, she had been staring at a death point without realizing.

" _ **Amélie**_ **? I finished it,"** He explained.

" **Oh, right!"** Of course, Amélie! He said he was going to watch it. " **Did you like it?"**

" **It was okay,"**

" **Okay?! You just watched Amélie for the very first time and you say it was "okay"?!"**

" **I knew you were going to get mad,"** He could hear him giggle, she could feel it too, in her chest. " **I really liked it! Not my favorite movie but I did enjoy the cinematography. Also she, as a character: extremely interesting,"**

" **That's a better answer,"** She huffed, " **What about the romance? You are a hopeless romantic, I thought you were going to be head over heels about them,"**

" **If I have to be honest, I didn't buy it,"**

" **Are you trying to piss me off again?"**

" **No, I'm being serious."** She felt his hair on her fingertips; she felt his fingers going through her hair, " **How could they fall in love? They never met each other, it's just too** _ **insta-lovey**_ **, I like when there's more depth,"**

" **Alright, it is a bit of an** _ **insta-love**_ **but I think it is deeper than that. Don't you believe someone can fall in love with another person just after a few minutes?"**

" **Well, that's different—**

" **Amélie didn't fall for his looks, she fell for what,** _ **who**_ **, he was. That's why the album with the photobooth pictures is so important. It's a unique collection, and it makes him alluring,"** Marinette sighed " **And the way she chases him is odd, captivating. They fall in love with those actions, actions that show each other's personality. Can you see it?"**

" **Now, I do,"** A warm feeling sat on Marinette's heart, it wasn't hers. " **It is like us,"**

And that warm feeling was one. Marinette felt how she went stiff, she was probably pale right now.

" **But we are not in love,"** She answered as fast as she could.

 _ **Yet.**_

She wasn't sure if he had said it or she had imagined it. She preferred to go with the second, swiftly changing the subject.

" **Okay, next you have to watch** _ **La vida de Adele,"**_ She said the first movie that came to her mind, " **One of my friends recommend it to me and it was good. You could watch it with your cinema-lover friend if you guys are not too busy studying"**

" **Oh, please let's not talk about studying, it's killing me** ,"

" **We all have to do it, hon,"** Marinette laughed, she felt how the tension was leaving her body. It was nice that he was relaxed all the time, she wouldn't like to know how it would be if he was as awkward as she was.

" **I know but,"** He rubbed his eyes. She felt it. " **It's harder to study these days, I feel like I don't learn anything, I can barely focus,"**

" **Why is that?"** He sounded worried. Marinette knew he was an excellent student and that he was forced to study more classes than necessary, but he always managed to do what he had to do -he reminded him of Adrien sometimes- so that's why it was so weird to hear him talk about it with so much frustration.

" **I think it's the pills,"** Oh no, not the pills again. " **These stupid things don't work, and they only make it harder for me,"**

" **You don't know that!"** Marinette said, as she always did when this subject came to light, " **It's been two months, you just have to wait one more and see."**

" **You say it as it was so easy. I'm the one taking them, you don't understand,"**

" **Boy—**

" **I don't feel anything, darling. It is so weird, it's like my emotions are gone and I function on autopilot. My friends have pointed out that I'm acting weird, but since I haven't told them about my depression I just have to play it cool and brush it off,"**

" **Why haven't you told them?"** He said that they were incredible friends, they sounded like amazing people. Why was he so scared to tell them?

" **I don't want to ruin our last semester together,"**

" **It won't ruin it, they love you**

" **Yeah, I know and because they do they are going to be hysteric, and babysit me. I know them, darling, they are the best but too overprotective.**

" **I think you should tell one of them. Movie-guy at least,"**

" **Uh…"**

" **Please, for me?"**

" **I don't want to,"**

" **Not right not but will you think about it?"** She felt it, the moment when she convinced him.

" **Yes,"**

" **And don't stop taking your meds,"**

" **Won't,**

" **Promise?**

" **Yes,**

" **Stop using monosyllables,"** She ordered, " **Promise?"**

" **I promise I'll keep taking my stupid useless medicine only because I love you,"** He sighed " **Is that good enough?"**

" **Yes, it's perfect,"** Marinette smiled satisfied. She rolled a piece of her hair around her finger and played with it.

" **You know what is weird?"** He asked.

" **What?"**

" **I can feel you playing with your hair on my fingers, but not in my hair. It happens every time you play with the tips."**

" **It must be because your hair is shorter,"**

" **It's not that short anymore"**

" **Really? You said your dad didn't allow you to have it longer,"**

" **I grew up so I got to negotiate a bunch of things. It's not** _ **that**_ **long; I still have to go to school and work,"**

" **Mm… I'll have to re-imagine you,"** Marinette took the closest notepad and a pen. She drew the basic image he had of him as she could. " **How long is it?"**

" **Uh… like Chat Noir's?"** Marinette dropped the pen. Taking her phone beside her she looked at the watch.

" **Oh god damn, I'm late!"** She screamed. She was sure he had been able to hear her thoughts too.

" **Late for what? What time is—"** His mind went black **, "Oh! It's this late?! She is gonna kill me,"**

" **Yeah, yeah, I gotta go, talk to you later,"** Marinette said, not paying much attention to his comments.

She stood up from the chair and ran to the trapdoor, to make sure her parents were sleeping. Then she ran back, to the little room she had handmade for Tikki years ago.

"Tikki, wake up," Marinette poked her a few times.

"It's time?" Tikki asked, rubbing her eyelids.

"Yes, and we are late so we have to be fast," She explained and whispered the transformation words almost immediately.

Chat Noir must have been waiting for her, and know how dramatic he could be, he may have been imagining the worst. She had to run.

 **xx**

He was late. Ladybug was going to kill him.

It was one thing to be five minutes late, she would understand that, she would tease him a little but that was it. But he was not five minutes late, he was half an hour late.

This had never happened, he never made her wait, he was punctual, he was always punctual with her, sometimes he arrived minutes before the time they had agreed on just to be sure he wouldn't make her wait.

He hadn't realized how late it was, he was not looking at his watch and he had missed the alarm he had set on, all because of his girl. It wasn't exactly her fault, she didn't know he had to go, he was the one who had been too entertained on the conversation to realize he was letting his duty behind.

But, would you blame him?

She had been acting as her normal self, yes, she had been distracted at the beginning but it was nothing compared to how she had been the last two months. They had fucked up, he admitted it, they had crossed a line they wouldn't suppose to cross, but why didn't he feel guilty?

Well, he did feel guilty but he felt that way because he did not feel guilty about what he was supposed to be. Did that make sense? In some bizarre way, it did, just like everything else in his life.

Maybe it was because he had too many things on his mind and that "incident" was the least troublesome of them. Maybe it was because he had been wanting to do that for months.

It was good that his wall building skills grew stronger, now it didn't feel like an effort, it was natural for him to do it, and the last week he didn't seem to lose any more strength than necessary.

He wondered what had changed. Whatever it was he was thankful.

It shouldn't matter now, their friendship was already back to normal. The other problems like his stupid depression, his dad, and Luka remained, tormenting him every day that passed by, but Ladybug and his darling gave him the motivation and strength to keep going.

Yeah, Ladybug's problems were solved too, thanks heavens, or working together would have been a living hell.

Ladybug had been the easiest problem to resolve: she was drunk, she didn't know what she was doing and she acted like a fool. He teased her for a while, she asked him not to talk about it anymore and the problem was solved. Easy peasy.

It was always so easy to be with her. And here he was, repaying it by being late.

He ran like an akuma was chasing him until he got to the venue. When he stopped he could barely breathe. He leaned to the front, with his hands on his knees as he gained back the air that had left his lungs after the intense activity.

Lifting his head a little he was able to see Ladybug, in the same position, her chest was going up and down, a few meters in front of him.

"My lady," He wheezed "Did you forget about me?"

"Forget about you? How could I?" She said before coughing "Did you forget about me, kitty cat?"

" _Impawssible_! You're always on my mind," He leaned back, hands on his hips as he rolled his neck. "I lost track of time,"

"Same here," Ladybug approached him. She rubbed behind his black ears to greet him. "How have you been? I feel like I haven't seen you in a year,"

"Fine, just living life and drowning in homework," That was just half the truth, "How are you doing? Have you been studying hard, dots?"

"I could study harder," She giggled, "But I've been working on my portfolio,"

"Have you?!" He asked excitedly. He was so happy that she found time to work on her passion. He wasn't sure what it was exactly, she hadn't given many details but he knew she was an artist, "Oh, I want to see it,"

"Once this is over and I can tell you who I am, I'm gonna be at your door with all my portfolios. You'll get bored of them,"

"Nah," He softly punch her arm, "I'm going to be your biggest fan and I'll hang your drawings all over my room,"

"But then you won't be able to see my face, since you will cover the posters on your wall," They both laughed.

"I'll make space for both," Chat added.

"That sounds good," She smiled, looking at the horizon, "Let's sit?" He nodded and followed her to the edge of the building.

She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"I wish this would be over already," Her voice broke mid sentence "I like us, no, _I love us._ I love our team and I adore Tikki and Master Fu and it has always been fun to learn about the powers of the miraculous and well, you know, everything, but I'm _sooooo_ tired. Next year we are going to university and I just wish all of this would be over by now, so we could enjoy life as we are supposed to. Is that stupid wish?"

"No," He crossed his arms around her, "I wish it too. I wish I could take a nap without worrying about what can happen between those minutes I have of extra sleep, I wish I could go out with my friends without having to cancel on them all the time. I wish I could see you outside without having to hide behind these masks. I wish this to be over too,"

She sighed. "Are we being selfish?"

"I would not categorize our feelings as selfish, we just want to be happy as anyone else," He asked back.

"I think they would see them as selfish. We are important to the citizens, once this is over they are not going to let us go. We are part of their lives"

"Yes, we are part of their lives and they are part of us but we don't belong to them. We are not comics or cartoons superheroes, they can't… they can't demand us to stay, we are people too, and if we decided to step back and not appear ever again they would have to understand." He kissed her forehead "Don't think too much about it, it's not happening yet,"

"I can't stop thinking about it. They made a museum about us" Ladybug pointed down before hugging him back. "A fucking museum, _minou_. We have only been around for three years!"

"That's their problem. Also, is not such a big deal, I bet they did it mostly for money, not to honor us," He giggled "We are a magnificent tourist attraction,"

"Oh damn, we are," She laughed too.

They kept quiet, staring at the night sky while they held each other.

These days it was inevitable to not have deep conversations, they were about to finish a stage of their lives that they hadn't been able to fully enjoy and they needed each other's support to keep moving forward. The feelings that came with the end of school were not rare on teenagers, but no other teenager had been fighting a villain while trying to do well in school and keep a social life. Only they had so only they understood.

A beeping sound came from Chat's baton. They both shared a playful look.

"Are you ready, Bug?" "

"After all this time you still have to ask?" She crooked a brow. She pulled back from the hug and jumped to stand straight. She extended a hand to help her partner stand "Let's go, Chat Noir!"

"Let's sneak out!" They shouted before jumping down the building.

short, but we are all caught up with ao3.

this story was on hiatus (it's been for a year) but now im writing it again, so please enjoy this series as much as i love to write it! xx


	8. Medicine

"Adrien, this doesn't work if you don't collaborate," The woman said.

Adrien rose a brow and sighed. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and accommodated on the chair so he would sit straight.

"I don't like coming here, I'm just doing it because I promised it to someone I really love," Adrien answered.

That was probably the longest sentence he had said in the three months he had been going to therapy. This was his fourth therapist.

She was younger than all the others he had gone too. Her name was Isabel, she had bright orange hair cut in a bob and she had the sharpest cheek boned he had ever seen, her monolid eyes were always accentuated with dark eyeliner, giving her an intimidating look. Opposite to what she looked like, she was the most patient therapist he had visited, also the one with the kindest voice.

She had not stopped being like that, she was still pretty nice but he could see that she was extremely frustrated, and decided to do an intervention. This was their third session after all, and he barely said a word.

"I'm sure you rather keep it all to yourself, but you came because you love someone, don't you think that someone would want you to actually heal?"

"I guess," He shrugged.

"Is it your father?" She asked.

He rolled his eyes.

"No, I wouldn't come here for my excuse of a father," He sighed, "I'm sorry if I'm being disrespectful. I went to therapy when I was younger when my mom died. I know the deal. I'm taking my pills, I should be fine soon,"  
"The pills are not a magical solution, Adrien. Talking is necessary to _actually_ heal," Isabel said, "And I don't think they are really working. I've been reading the notes the other therapist lent me and I spoke with your assistant, they said there has not been much change, or at least not _a positive_ change. You're eating less and don't focus on what's in front of you. Pills are not supposed to give you happiness or fix your problems just by taking them, they help you do stuff, they give your brain the strength to do it. I'm going, to be honest, I don't think you need them, but I'm not a doctor, I don't have a say on that. However I'll ask for the doctor to do a review on your prescription,"

Adrien stayed quiet. Still pretty sweet but now she was not letting him do as he wanted anymore.

"And I want you to start talking or at least try. You can talk about anything you want to talk. We can start slow, I understand if you don't trust me or if you are opposed to the idea of talking. I don't know if this is going to change anything, but I should tell you that I'm the only therapist your father hasn't selected. Nathalie chose me, she says I could work better with you, but apparently, I still need to pass your father's approval or something like that. So, I wasn't actually asked anything by him, I don't know him at all, I don't work under his orders,"  
Yes, that _did_ change some things.

"He was too busy to keep taking care of me, uh?" He huffed.

"I can't answer that, since I don't know why he gave told your assistant Nathalie to choose a new candidate to treat you, but I can tell you that Nathalie cares about you very much and she did an extensive research,"

"I know she does, she is cold but she cares," He let himself smile a little.

"A lot of people care about you, Adrien. I really want you to work this out, but if you don't have the motivation to do it for yourself, I'm going to ask you to to do it for the people who you care about, for example, this person you told me about, the one that made you come here," She cleared her throat, "Tell me about them, just to know about them, let's go easy, don't tell me anything about your problems if you don't want to,"

Adrien looked at her from the corner of his eye. Until now, she was the most amicable of them all, and the only one that looked like she actually cared about doing her job right, instead of pleasing Gabriel Agreste.

"I don't know her name, but we are… _penpals,_ yes, penpals" Adrien lied, he was already with a psychologist, he was not risking to be marked as crazy, "We've been for years, she is the only constant of my life and I love her,"

He spoke about her, once he opened his mouth it was hard to shut it. He did not go in depth about his troubles or the awkward situations they were living right now, he focused on the good memories, on the little facts he knew about here, on the ways she made him feel.

Isabel was good at her job, he could tell, it was easy to talk to her and she only interrupted when she thought it was necessary, he let him guide the session the whole time and she laughed a few times when he told her stories about his darling.

"She seems to be a lovely person," Isabel said

"She is, the loveliest," He said with tenderness on his voice. She really was, she was his number one.

"Our session finished, I think it was a great start, Adrien, I really don't want you to tell me anything that you're not ready to talk about. Therapy is a process, and everyone takes their steps at the pace it works for them. So, will I see you next week?"

Adrien stopped fidgeting and for the first time in the whole hour looked straight into the therapists eyes.

"Yes," He nodded and he was not lying.

After leaving Isabel's consult, Adrien visited the clinic, to the psychiatrist office.

Turned out that Isabel was right, the pills were not working as the doctor had expected, apparently, the dose was too low. He was surprised by the development, actually the lack of it, it did not make sense to him and changed his prescription, assuring him that this time it would work.

Adrien was doubtful about it, why was this doctor so sure that it was the right dose or the right medicine? Depression was tricky, it was not the flu, you did not know what would work until it worked. However, he was not a doctor so he followed the instructions.

He asked Nathalie for a new box, with a higher dose and Nathalie delivered. She did not say anything, but she was not wearing her poker face and was actually smiling at him, which was her way to say she cared about him.

Adrien took the medicine first time as he got home. He walked with a glass full of water until he got to his room, leaving the glass on his night table, just beside the new box of pills.

 **"You there?"** He asked, throwing himself to his bed.

She took her time to answer and when she did she only said she was busy, she sounded distant what made him think that she really wasn't in the mood for anything.

Adrien felt rejected, but he knew it wasn't on propose, she must really be busy. The last month of their last year school was approaching, she was probably studying and planning a million of things before the scholar year was over.

He stood up from the bed and took his phone with him. He called Nino.

"Adrien!" Nino answered immediately. He always did. "You free from the photoshoot, already?" Photoshoot, _right._

There was no photoshoot, but that was his lie, he still did not tell Nino about what was really going on with him.

"Yeah, what are you doing?"

"Alya is dragging us to the superhero museum. _Again_ ,"

"Tell her no, let's do something different, I've been there several times," As much as he enjoyed the museum, Ladybug and him had been invited to multiple ceremonies through the whole month, he was tired of staring pictures of him, he had already enough with his model pictures, he did not need more as Chat Noir, "Let's go for ice cream or something,"

"I don't think I'll be able to convince her, dude," Nino sighed, "Marinette might want to join you, tho,"

"Marinette? If you can't escape what makes you think Marinette will?"

"Mari is not here,"

"You implied that there were more people, I assumed it was Marinette,"

"No, she was busy with a project, probably her portafolio. You know how worried she's been about that,"

"I don't want to bother her," Adrien sighed, "I'll go with you, I like to watch Ladybug's first speech every once in a while,"

"Adrien," Nino sighed. He knew that tone damn well, Adrien could see him with his hand against his forehead, rubbing his temples. Frustrated.

" _Yes?_ "

"You don't have to if you don't want you. Don't force yourself to do things that you don't like," Adrien laughed at that.  
"Nino, my life is basically that,"

"More reasons to tell you to not obligate yourself to come. You've been acting weird, I know you don't want to talk about it, but I've known you for a long time now, Adrien, I can tell something is wrong, so please, don't push yourself too hard, be more open with what you want to do and do it,"

"I'm fine, really," Adrien growled, "I'll see you there,"

 **xx**

Adrien was not fine.

He was angry and sad, _oh_ , and irritable and he was taking out all his anger towards Marinette. Not that she had noticed, not that he had been doing it on purpose, but apparently it had been notorious enough for Nino to call him out.

"You're doing it again," Nino said between clenched teeth.

"What?" Adrien backed away a few steps, surprised by the change of tune in the conversation.

"Avoiding Marinette. You've been doing it for four days now, Adrien. Did she do something to you?"

 _Yes. No. Probably yes? But also probably not?_

He was not sure and he did not know how to answer to Nino because he _had_ been avoiding Marinette and he did not have a solid explanation.

His actions were selfish, he knew that. He was not sure that she was his girl but he needed to throw his anger at someone, and Marinette was his biggest suspect, so -sadly- she was the target.

"I'm not avoiding her… we just haven't talked this past few days," He shrugged.

"Adrien, you _love_ talking to Marinette. If she doesn't say good morning to you you're pouting the whole time it takes her to realize that she has not said a word to you. You look for her at recess and lunch, in class, you try your best to sit as close to her as Alya allows you to. You adore being around Marinette, you adore to listen to her, your whole day you're aware of her. So, yes, _you are_ avoiding her. Tell me why,"

"I don't know, Nino, I really don't, okay?" Adrien threw his hands to the air, asking for mercy, he did not want to be attacked with these kind of questions.

"You realize you're only giving me more reasons to worry about you? You need to talk to me, Adrien, we are friends and you've been acting odd for a really long time," Nino sighed, "I don't want to push you but I'm getting frustrated, you're not you anymore, you're angry all the time,"

 _Because those damn pills don't work, because my father gets mad because those pills don't work and because it's harder and harder to talk to the girl in my head as days pass by._

All of those reasons were true, none of them a good enough excuse he guessed. He was angry because the pills did not seem to have any effect in how he felt, he expected them to do something to him but nothing was happening. His father had been insufferable, more than usual and his bad parenting skills had only increased and that made him sad. But really, what actually hurt, what actually had him this way was that his girl, probably Marinette - confirmation still needed to be certain- was ignoring him.

It all had started on Tuesday, the day after his session with Isabel, after he said all those lovely stories about her. He had tried to contact her and it had took him hours to get an answer. He knew she had not been busy, he could hear her humming and fantasizing on his mind. She had been ignoring him by choice. It all went south from there.

He had been calling her non-stop for two days, and he could still hear her, barely, but she wasn't good at building walls so he still knew that she was there.

Why was she doing that? What had changed between them that she just kicked him out of her mind? Did she wanted to erase him forever? So it seemed, because he had not done anything for her to be mad, the opposite actually, she was the only person he was being a hundred percent honest with. God damn, he was going to therapy and taking the pills because she encouraged him to do it.

And that's why he was avoiding Marinette because if he saw her he was going to say something mean, and he had no confirmation or proof that Marinette was his girl. It was only wishful thinking.

"Did she say something to you?" He asked in a whisper. He wasn't ready to talk about the other things, so he was going to keep the subject on Mari.

"No," Nino frowned "She's been acting awfully odd this week too, Alya can't figure out either. Did you guys fight? Is this what is all about?"

"We did not fight," Adrien shook his head "Odd _how_?"  
"She's been acting clumsier than normal, her attention span is close to zero and she's been barely talking, which is the strangest, she is too quiet and Marinette is _not_ quiet," Nino explained, "Are you sure nothing happened between you two?"  
"Nothing at all,"

"So you won't mind if I go to talk to her, you'll come with me right?" Adrien sighed

"Sure, but first let me pick up my backpack, I need to take some vitamins,"  
"Let's go," Nino nodded and followed him to the classroom.

Adrien jumped over the desk, parkour style as Nino liked to call it. He much prefered it to call it Chat Noir style, but he had desisted to try to convince his friend.

He took his backpack and the box of medicine he carried around.

Adrien took his pack of vitamins and "model-pills" and when Nino was not looking, he took the antidepressant.

 **xx**

Marinette stopped in the middle of the hallway. She focused her sight on one immobile point at the other side, on the brick wall at the end of the hallway, and she tried to keep her breathing steadily as her eyes tried to adjust the frame.

The pain was stronger now and she did not know any method that could help her deal with it, so trying to not fall and find her balance and keep a steady breathing was her approach to handle the subject.

Her head had been hurting for the past week but it had been worse this morning, more than any of the past three days when she started crying about how hurtful it was. Right now he couldn't put it into words, the pain was exceeding any limit.

She wanted to scream, it hurt so, so, much but she did not want to be the center of attention and if she yelled she was going to be.

Alya had become her shadow the past days, she had tried her best to brush it off but it had become clear that this was not something to take so lightly, and Alya had been insisting andinsistingg for her to go to talk to someone, to maybe tell Chat Noir about it because she had been messing up a lot in fights and he could help her out or talk to the mysterious master she visited from time to time.

Going to Master Fu was the smartest option, he could know something and if he did not, she had to talk to him anyways so she could ask if she could give the fox miraculous to Alya for longer. She had been doing an excellent job as Rena Rogue this week, if it wasn't for her extra help Marinette could have failed every damn time. The headache made her useless in battle, she had been pushing herself to the edge the past few days. Without Alya's help, she could be dead by now.

"Marinette, are you okay?" Nino asked, poking her cheek.

"Uh?" She said, looking up. She had not realized he had been in the hallway or beside her, and he had just touched her cheek, she should had realized he was so close. She really was out of it.

"Are you feeling alright?" He said this time.

"My head hurts," She said and before they kept asking she just said all of it, so they wouldn't push her to talk, "It has not stopped hurting for a week, and I'm tired, I can barely sleep. But that's just it," She rubbed her eyes, very gently so her head wouldn't hurt more.

"That's not normal, you should go to the doctor," Another voice said. Marinette blinked a few times to see better, but actually, she did not need that to know that it was Adrien.

"I think is just stress, it'll be gone once the portfolio is done, I only need to organize it, so it'll be pretty soon,"

"Are you sure? You really don't look so great, Nette," Nino said.

Actually, Marinette was not sure, she was completely in the dark and terrified of it.

Her head hurt so much that she had been unable to do her job as Ladybug right, the school was proving to be extremely difficult and she lacked the energy needed to fully focus, she knew she did not look great, but she hated that people were pointing it out.

She was taking medicine, it had helped the first day, but now it was close to being useless. She would take five pills on one sip and the pain would disappear for a few minutes, only to come back as strong as it had been before the pills. She had not even tried to contact her boy because she knew she wasn't going to be able to handle two people inside her mind, she barely could hear her own voice.

Something wasn't right and she was too scared to find out what it was.

Was it Papillon? Had he found her? Had he somehow poisoned her or send a magic trick to make her weak so he could obtain the miraculous?

Whatever it was, she needed to be stronger than it was.

"It's going to be fine if it gets worse or it doesn't disappear I'll make sure to go to the doctor," She promised, realizing Nino was not going to leave her alone.

"You better do," Nino clicked his tongue, "I'm looking for Alya, have you seen her?"

"Uh.." Marinette leaned against the brick wall, it was getting harder and harder to focus on the conversation they were having. "I don't know… What time is it?"

"Marinette," Adrien's whisper came first, then did Nino's high pitched voice "You need to go to the doctor now! You're green,"

"It's fine, I just need to take my medicine,"

Marinette opened her purse looking for medicine but did not find one single pill. Did she finish them up? All of them? There were two boxes! This was not healthy, this was not okay.

This was getting out of her hands.

"Marinette," Nino said, she looked at him.

"What?"

"You're green," He repeated.

Marinette winced "I'm just a little nauseous, I forgot to take my medicine and I'm dealing with the consequences," She realized too late that she had previously used medicine as an excuse.

Marinette's voice lowered an octave at the end of her phrase, not in a cute or shy way, it sounded like she was getting out of air or about to faint.

Adrien was alarmed by that change because it was not only her voice, it was her whole self, the person in front of him was not the Marinette he knew. Her posture changed, her breathing did too and he heard her gulp.

Adrien looked straight into her eyes.

He had been avoiding her eyes for almost a week, those beautiful eyes that drove him crazy and now when he looked at them, there was something gloomy about them. She was narrowing them and they looked lifeless.

Marinette's body was trembling, it was almost unnoticeable but he had better senses than any other human, and she was slowly shaking. He noticed the drops of sweat on her forehead and neck. Something wasn't right.

"Marinette do you need to seat?" He asked and took a step forward.

"No, it's not a big deal, I only need to take a paracetamol and I'll be fine," She was lying, he could hear it on her voice. This was a big deal, she looked like she was about to puke, or worse. There was _definitely_ something wrong with her.

"Don't lie, Marinette. You look like you need to be in bed," He said and pointed her out, "You're not only green, you're whiter than a sheet of paper,"

"It's fine!" Marinette shouted, her hands were in fists and he was not sure if that was because she was mad at him or because she was in pain.

To check which one, he took one of her hands and pulled it closer to him.

Marinette was digging her nails against her palm, she was doing in it with so much strength that she was piercing through her skin. A line of blood was starting to appear under her fingers.

"Mari, you're hurting yourself," Adrien gasped. _What is wrong?_

"It doesn't hurt, I did not even-" She stopped mid-sentence.

"Don't lie to us," Nino said, taking her other hand and looking at Adrien. He was frightened, his eyes were wide open and the corners of his mouth were curled down, the fear was all over his face "We're taking you to the infirmary,"

Marinette pulled away. She took a few steps backward and pressed her arms against her chest "I'm fine, it's the stress, I can take it, I'm stronger than you think,"

"I bet you're," Adrien said, "But you don't _need t_ o be. You're sick, Mari. You're shaking and you're sweating,"

"Huh?" Marinette rose a brow. She touched her forehead with the back of her hand, her eyes grew wide. She really didn't know she was sweating? Her hair was sticking to her forehead, it was impossible not to notice. What was wrong with her?

"Mari,"

"Shut up," Marinette gasped. She leaned on the wall, pressing her hands against the bricks.

"I'm taking you home, c'mon," Adrien said

"No," Marinette said between clenched teeth, "It'll be over soon, it has happened. I get a really painful headache for a few seconds, and then it goes back to the normal pain, it's fi.. fi.. finnnnnn," Marinette's eyes rolled back, goodbye bluebell eyes, the white scleras were the only thing you could see and then Marinette dropped to the floor like a dead weight.

"Marinette!" Nino screamed and tried to reach for her but Adrien was quicker. He got to catch her on his arms before her head hit the ground.

Adrien cupped her cheek, checking her face for any signs that could help him figure it out what was wrong but Marinette was unconscious.

Her chest went up and down in an arrhythmical and slow motion. Adrien pressed his index and middle finger on the crook of her neck, looking for her pulse; it was fast as the blades of a helicopter. She was still sweating, he touched her forehead, the sweat was cold but she was burning up. Her whole body was still trembling, and now her lips did too.

"Marinette," He shook her head carefully to wake her up. It did not work.

Marinette was lying unconscious in his arms, and he had no idea what to do but hold her close to his body and shake her softly, waiting for her to wake up at some point.

Oh heavens, he really did not know what to do. He was trained for battle and to act quickly but he did not know how he had to proceed in this situation, there was no villain or civilians to take care of. He really did not know what to do, but he had to do something, so he let his instinct guide him.

It had to work, he had to help her somehow.

He changed the position of his arms so she would lie differently. Now, her head leaning on his shoulders, her whole body was pressed to his chest, and his arm was under her knees and the other holding her back.

He had taken her like this before, and she was always so warm against him, something he had always enjoyed, but now she was in flames and that only made him more nervous.

"Nino call a teacher, she is burning up," Adrien said, "What do we do? Oh my god, call an ambulance,"

"Ahead of you," Nino said with his phone against his ear. "Heavens, please let her be okay,"

Adrien watched everything unravel in slow motion.

Alix and Nathanael appeared and realized the situation after one look in Adrien's direction. Alix ran to look for help because Nino had been unable to move and was still talking to the 112 line. Nathanael took one of his folders and was using it as a fan in an attempt to cool down Marinette. Then, more people started to gather around. Adrien couldn't recognize familiar faces anymore, Marinette was shaking and getting hotter by the minute, she was the only focus of his attention.

One of the teachers came by their side and tried to calm them down, but he was as useful as the rest of the students that were around them.

Adrien lost it. _How was it possible that no one knew what to do?_

If there had been no one around, he could easily transform and take her to the closest hospital, but, he was surrounded by people, with nowhere to hide because the show everyone wanted to enjoy was on his arms.

He felt sick, a knot tangled in his stomach, how could everyone be so selfish and useless?

A rush of adrenaline ran through his body.

Maybe he did not have a suit, but he was still Chat Noir. Marinette needed help and he was going to give it to her.

"Nino," He called. His best friend looked at him expectantly, "Help me out here,"

He hoped he understood that that meant that he needed to follow him and keep the teacher away from them.

Adrien adjusted Marinette on his arms, making sure that he was holding her right and tight, and once he was sure she was not going to fall, he started running towards the school entrance.

"Agreste!" That may have been the teacher calling but he was already meters away from him. He did not look back to check if Nino was helping, he only had to trust him.

Running with a person on your arms was harder to do when magic wasn't involved, but that didn't stop him. He was going to take Marinette to the hospital no matter how.

He made it into the entrance in record time, he slowed down his pace at the stairs so he wouldn't fall. When he reached the end he heard his name being called by a familiar voice.

"Follow me, run!" He said. There was no time to stop.

He heard the fast footsteps and gasps of air following him. "What the hell happened?!" Alya shouted.

"I don't know, but I'm taking her to a hospital!" Adrien said between sharp breathes.

Alya did not ask for more, she only followed at a lower pace.

He was thankful for the constant akuma attacks now if it wasn't for them he would not have the physical state to do this without running out of breath or fainting.

Adrien kept his mind on the goal: take Marinette to a hospital, take Marinette to safety, help Marinette. He did not let anything or anyone distract him.

He ran and ran and ran and ran. He did not look back, he couldn't even see what was to his sides, he only looked ahead and he let his muscle memory guide him towards the hospital. He had done this same path a couple of times as Chat Noir so he had it memorized by now, if it wasn't for this he wouldn't have been able to go anywhere, the anxiety would have took over his body, but right now he was trusting his gut, he was going with the flow, he was not thinking, he was pure action.

Marinette was going to be okay.

Marinette _had_ to be okay.

 **xx**

Marinette did not remember going to bed and falling asleep. So, she was not surprised when she woke up and found herself in a hospital bed.

But before noticing all this, there was one thing she noticed as soon as she woke up: her head did not hurt anymore and that was the most magnificent feeling she had felt in a very long time.

She pressed her elbows against the mattress and pushed her body so she could sit down. She extended her as tall as she could, imagining she was going to touch the roof and felt relief, the tension on her back was killing her.

She looked around the little room, analyzing where she was. It was a typical hospital room, nothing out of the norm. A white bag was on top of a chair, there were two bouquets of flowers on the nightstand next to her, and machines that were pumping medicine to her IV. There was no watch on sight, so she couldn't know what time it was.

Luckily, the door opened and Alya entered. She would have to wait no time to get her answers.

"You're awake!" The joy Alya irradiated hit her with so much strength.

"I am!" Marinette said just as happy "And guess what? My head doesn't hurt anymore!"

"Oh, that's so nice to hear, Mari! We were so worried about you, we really did not know what was going on. Your parents were losing their minds, girl,"

Oh no!

"Are they okay? Are they here?"

"They're okay, just worried. Your mom went to your house so she could have lunch with your father, but she should be back pretty soon. She only left because I said I was staying,"

Lunch, uh? So it was not the same day.

"How long was I out?"

"Almost three days, the first one you were on an induced coma, they woke you up yesterday in the morning to check if you were feeling any pain and you did not. They said you would be awake around the night, but I guess you were pretty impatient to come back and rushed the process,"

"I guess so," Marinette laughed. "Do you know what happened? Last thing I remember I was talking to Adrien and Nino,"

"Yes, and nothing much happened after that. You did not miss much," Alya said and then her eyes glowed, "Well, I guess you did miss something, but even if you were awake it would not have had the same impact on you, because he was carrying you,"

"Who was carrying me?" Marinette rose a brow.

"Adrien," Alya smirked, "Our boy went six times of crazy when he saw you on the floor, or so Nino says, Adrien says he acted with calm. You fainted and he caught you on his arms, everyone was being pretty useless, even the teachers, and Adrien couldn't take you anymore so Adrien took it pretty seriously and took the business into his own hands. He carried you on his arms and ran here. I saw him leaving school, he looked pretty determined to save you, and I have to remark this, because it is true, he looked extremely handsome. I have to say it was rather heroic, your Chat Noir would have been jealous,"

Marinette did not know if she had to blush after that story of laugh at Alya's joke.

"I'll have to thank him, you think he'll let me?" Marinette asked, really curious. Her head had been hurting a lot that week, and she had been brushing off any kind of social engagement but she was not dumb, and most of all, she was very aware of Adrien Agreste and she knew that he had been avoiding her. She did not know why, and her pain problems had been bigger than trying to figure it out why he did not wanted to talk to her, but now she was okay and she would like to know what was going on with her friend.

"Yes, totally, of course, he will," Alya snapped her fingers, "Boy's been acting non stop about you, and he came on his free time to visit and stayed with Nino and I while we were with you. Whatever was going on with him is long gone now, Mari,"

"I'm glad to hear," Marinette sighed with relief. "Hey, Alya,"

"Yes, M?"

"I'm hungry," Marinette giggled. Alya did too.

"I can ask a nurse to bring you food,"

"Oh, no, please no. I hate hospital food, I rather eat something from a bending machine or the cafeteria. Could you please, please, beautiful, amazing, Alya buy and bring me something?

Alya laughed louder this time.

"There was no need to add al those words, you know? I was so worried about you that I could have bought you whatever you asked, as ridiculous as it could have been," Marinette smiled at her words. "What do you want?"

"Whatever is fine, a sandwich, some chips, chocolates, whatever there is really,"

"Alrighty, I'll be back as soon as I can,"

"Thank you, 'Lya, but hurry up, I feel lonely," Alya winked at her and did a finger-guns motion at her.

Alya left the room jogging and Marinette was alone in the room again. She lied back on her bed and looked at her nails, they were chipped, they had been like that for the whole week, now that her head did not hurt anymore she would be able to re-paint them. Actually, she would be able to do a lot of things that she had been putting off because of the headache.

She would finally be able to work on her portfolio, and she could be the efficient Ladybug she had always been, she could talk to her friends, she-

Marinette's heart stopped and her eyes opened wide. It was at that moment, that she finally realized something was still wrong.

It took longer than it should have to feel that things were not as they always were. She had joked about feeling lonely, but that had never been an issue, because she was never alone. But now…. She had been so happy that her head wasn't hurting anymore, so happy that she was at peace, that she did not realize sooner that her head was silent.

Completely and totally silent.

There were no whispers, murmurs or muffled sounds and she did not feel any presence at all. She could only hear her voice, and it felt like it was echoing across a small room. Her mind had never been like that.

Marinette sat straight once again, she took her head between her hands and closed her eyes with so much strength they could hurt. She focused and started tearing down every wall she had, maybe she build a wall wrong while she was in pain and there was something blocking him. Marinette fell them all crumbling to the ground, but nothing changed.

She imagined the curtains, the glass windows and the barriers she always used as a reference to difference their minds, she imagined them falling, disappearing from her mind.

Nothing changed.

Her voice kept echoing, she did not feel anyone in there.

He was gone.


	9. Awake

He had never been more confident than what he was today, that he was smiling from ear to ear, and there was nothing on Earth that could take that smile away.

He tried t hide it, because Nino and his classmates were around, and every single one of them was worried about Marinette. But he knew she was okay, so it was only normal for him to be so happy.

Only a few hours and everything would go back to normal. Only a few hours and Marinette would be awake, and she would be back!

He could feel her, still very distant like all those days before, but now he had an explanation. She did not mean to actually ignore him, she had been sick.

Marinette's headache had been so painful that she had closed every door and barrier to separate them as much as she could. He had been so angry, but now he finally understood why she had done it. He felt guilty of thinking so badly of her, he should have known better, she would never cut him of her life that easily.

He couldn't contain his emotions, he wanted to jump and dance and scream and just see Marinette as soon as he could. He was so ready, this was the moment he had been waiting for, all those years of guessing, all those years of having her in his mind but not in real life, and now she was there, she had always been!  
"Adrien," Nathanael called.

"Uh?" He looked at him.

"Stop moving your foot, you're moving the whole table,"  
Adrien looked down. He was shaking his foot and leg and he had not realized it, it was the way he had to release the excitement.

"Oh, I'm sorry,"

"I know you're worried, we all are, but I bet you're more stressed than all of us, since you're so close to Marinette," He sighed, "Maybe you should try to do something to take your mind out of it?"  
There was no way he could take his mind out of this? This was the discovery of the century!

But he lied. Nathanael did not like him very much, but he was trying to be nice to him, so he had to give it to him.

"Yeah, you're right, I can do that," He nodded, "What do you suggest?"

"Uh, I don't know, Nino and Kim are outside, you get along with them right?"

Adrien gave him a fake smile, really trying to make it look like a real one. Why did Nathanael dislike him? What had he done to him? He was always cordial towards him, but his words, and especially the way he said them, made it clear that he was not his biggest fan.

"Yeah, I should go and see what they're doing. Thanks, Nate,"

He left the classroom and went downstairs, to the usual spot the guys gathered. As he did, he put all his focus on the glass window that separated his mind from Marinette's. He could hear the whispers of her mind coming and going, she was closer than before, she would come back soon.

Adrien had never been without her for so long, it was starting to get bothersome. He did not like silence, he did not know silence, so this was the closest thing to it, and he was getting tired of it. And of course, he was extremely concerned. How many sleepless nights had Marinette accumulated? She probably hadn't drink enough water, or she did not eat nutritious food. He was going to make sure for it -whatever it had been- never happened again, once Marinette was back, they were going to have an extensive talk about stress and self-care.

Adrien saw Nino and Kim sitting with Alix and Juleka in a circle on the floor. He jogged towards them, almost stepping on Nino's hand once he stopped.

"Dude,"

"Sorry, I was excited," He laughed, "Make space," He shook his hands, making his friends laugh.

Nino and Juleka opened the circle and Adrien sat down.

"So, what are you guys talking about?"  
"Actually, about you," Alix said, moving her eyebrows up and down.

"Me? What did I do now?"  
"Nothing but the most heroic thing we've seen all week?" Kim asked, "You were so cool rescuing Marinette, Agreste!"  
Adrien laugh, "It wasn't cool, it was just necessary. Also, I'm quite sure we had an akuma attack this Monday, Chat Noir was pretty heroic,"

"Uh, probably? He is heroic the whole damn time, it's not impressive anymore," Alix said. "You were a whole other level! I must say I never thought you had so much strength in you, Agreste, there are times when you look sickly,"

"That's for Fashion Week," Juleka said. "Lucky Marinette it didn't happen there,"  
Fucking Fashion Week, indeed the worst week turned month of the year. His duties as Chat Noir gave him more muscle and physical ability than what he was trained for as a model, but he was weaker around Fashion Week. The strict diets and the constant running on rooftops and under his personal trainer did drain him of energy and strength. So, Juleka was kind of right.

"Your standards are too low, you guys, and we literally have superheroes," Adrien said, brushing off the compliments.

"Don't worry, we won't say you're cooler than Ladybug, we know we would start a fight with you," Nino chuckled.

"Oh, yes, we would. No one is more heroic or cooler than LB," Adrien leaned on Nino's shoulder and reached for the bag of chips he was eating.

"You and Chat Noir would be great friends," Kim said, "He has saved me a few times and half of the time he is either flirting with her or praising her,"  
Adrien did not answer, he just laughed. Because, one, he couldn't be friends with himself and two yeah, that was usually what he did when Ladybug was around. The flirting had lowered down, but it wouldn't be their relationship without some healthy flirting involved.

He was thankful that the subject died down and Alix and Kim started to tease each other. He kept leaning on Nino and eating his chips, making some comments every time and then, but he maintained his mind on alert, waiting for Marinette to appear, maybe a dream would leak through and she would come back and give him calm.

Nino's phone ringed when he was in the middle of a sentence. He wasted no time answering, it was probably Alya, and Alya did not like to wait.

He stood up and walked a few steps away from the group. Adrien sat straight and took the bag of chips on his hands, they were only a few left, mostly crumbles, so he opened the bag wide and put it closer to his mouth so he could eat it all without getting his hands dirty.

"Marinette's awake!" Nino's scream startled him, making him drop his bag of chips.

"Really?!" The echo of voices rang in his ears.

"What?" Adrien asked, mouth full.

He cleaned his lips with the back of his hand as Nino kneeled to his level.

"Marinette's awake, Adrien! Alya just called me and told me the news," Nino pointed at his phone, a big smile was decorating his face.

Marinette was _what_? _Awake?_ As in _not asleep_ anymore?

No, there was no way. Not possible, that had to be a mistake.

He would have felt her, he always did. He would have seen a part of her dreams, their thoughts would have mixed up.

But he could not feel her, the barriers were still up, it did not make sense. She had to be asleep, that was the only explanation.

"Wasn't she supposed to wake up later, like tonight?" Adrien asked, trying to keep his composure.

Everyone around him was smiling and jumping with happiness. They had been waiting for the good news since Adrien took her to the hospital, but he couldn't share the happiness.

"Yeah, but she woke up earlier! She just had lunch with Alya and her parents and now they're taking some blood samples and X-rays, she should be home in a few hours,"

Home? So, she was a hundred totally percent okay?

Then why wasn't she back?

Marinette was awake and there was still no one inside of his mind.

He wasn't wrong, it had to be Marinette.

He couldn't be wrong, right? Then why?

Why?

Why?

 _Why wasn't she back?_

 **xx**

Marinette was sitting in the living room, wrapped in a blanket and with a cup of warm tea on her hands.

The TV was on but she could barely hear it because Alya and her mother would not stop talking. They were discussing what the doctor had said, at the end of the day they had blamed her terrible headache to stress. Something normal that any teenager in her last year of _baccalauréat_ could experience. Marinette still believed it had nothing to do with stress, she had taken care of herself, she had not gone through all-nighters, she made sure to drink water and to eat when she had to. She had been focused and she had put all her energy on finishing her portfolio, but she had been careful. She was Ladybug after all, she couldn't afford these kinds of things. Whatever it had been, she still had to figure it out what it had been, because whatever it was, it had taken her boy away.

Marinette hated to admit it, but there were times when she had wished to have a normal mind, filled only with her thoughts. It was not a current thought, but when she was little and people made fun of her and her "imaginary friend" she had wished for it, when she was angry and he tried to make her talk, she had wished for it, a few times when she had had some indecent thoughts, she had wished for it. But she never really meant it, she only wished for him to disappear for a while, for a few minutes until she could organize her thoughts and hide them from him, she did not want him to get erased.

And now, she was all alone. Her mind had never been this quiet.

Was it easier to think now? Was it harder? She couldn't place this new sensation, it was so strange. It felt like her mind had been demolished and turned into a one bedroom apartment, when before it had been a house with two floors and a big garden.

She did not felt limited, she still was as smart as she had always been (or so she hoped) but it felt like she could hear every single thought she had twice, they were revolving around, and every single one of them was clear and neat, and she had conversations but they were all in her voice. Was this how normal minds worked?

Even when he disappeared when she was Ladybug it didn't feel like it. It had never felt like this, it was new and it was awful.

"Mari," Her mother called. She looked at her and waited for more, "Are you feeling alright?"  
"Yes, I'm fine, mom," She smiled.

"Do you need anything?"

"I have my tea, mamma. I'm fine, really," Marinette looked at Alya for support, but she was too busy writing on her phone. Surprise, surprise.

"Hey, Lya," Alya stopped texting and looked at her with a smile.

"Sorry, keeping the guys posted," She said

"'s okay," Marinette took a sip of her tea.

"Nino and Adrien are coming, is that okay?" Alya asked. Marinette was about to answer when she realized Alya was not asking her, she was asking her mom.

"Of course, but they can't stay until late. Marinette has to sleep,"

"Mom, I'm really fine,"

"Well, you weren't two days ago. You need to take care of yourself, Marinette, you can't end up on the hospital for lack of sleep, so if you can't be a responsible adult and take care of yourself at the same time, then I'll have to order you around,"

"Mom!"

"Eh, eh," Sabine lifted one finger at her, "You'll have to follow some rules and a schedule for some time, little lady,"

Marinette kept her mouth shut, there was no way she was winning this argument.

"Do you think they'll be hungry?" Her mother asked.

"Those two are always hungry," Alya laughed, and Sabine joined her. Marinette was still too angry to join the fun.

"I'll see how many pastries and bread I can bring them. Is Adrien on any sort of diet again? We got those new dairy-gluten-sugar free pastries, I think he could like,"

"Not that we know of, but he'll eat more if we tell him they're "healthier". Also, If they don't have jam inside, he'll like them," Marinette said. Adrien loved sweets so much, that it was shocking how much he hated jam.

"Alright, I'll go for them. You finish your tea and let down your hair, you can't keep it up for too long,"

"Mom, now you're being ridiculous. I always have my hair up and it doesn't give me headaches,"  
"Then make sure it is not too tight. Alya, please convince her," And with that, her mother left.

Marinette gave her best friend a look. "She is being ridiculous, right?"  
"She is just worried and trying to take care of you,"

"Oh, I know that and I love her for that, but my hair? Please agree with me on this,"  
"Yeah, maybe she is exaggerating Mari, but indulge her for a while? I'm sure if you do as she says, things will go back to normal quite easily," Alya moved closer to her. "And you're only so angry because something else is bothering you, I can tell. So, what it is?"

"Nothing," Marinette lied. She couldn't tell her, or anyone, the truth. "I just don't believe it was stress, and I hate to be treated like I'm fragile,"

Alya gave a dramatic sight. Marinette couldn't figure it out what she meant by it, but she did not like it.

Marinette looked at the TV, a commercial of the superhero museum was running. Something sparked in her mind because of it.

"Hey, no akuma attacks on these two days?" Marinette whispered.

"Yeah, one," Alya nodded, "Ladybug did not show up, which had all of us worried. But Rena Rogue and Chat Noir took care of it,"

Rena Rogue? Had she left the miraculous with her? She did not remember that. How out of it had she really been? This was definitely a serious a matter she would have to investigate. She was going to visit Master Fu as soon as she could go out without being followed.

"Do you think something happened to her?" Marinette asked, trying to not act suspiciously.

"I don't know, I hope not. She can't be on every fight, right? I mean she has been on almost every single one for years, but if I'm correct she must be our age or one year older at most, and she must be preparing her test for university or already in university, so she was probably busy,"  
"You're right, she probably was. I just hope Chat Noir didn't worry too much,"

"He always worries too much," Alya chuckled.

Before Marinette could ask more, the doorbell rang.

"Oh, get ready for an avalanche of love, my dear Mari," Alya warned before stepping up of the coach and running to open the door.

And Alya was right about her warning because the moment the door was open. Nino ran to give her a huge hug.

"Oh, you're okay, we were, so, so, _sooooo_ worried, Maribear," Nino rubbed his cheek against her, making her laugh.

"I'm okay, really," She assured.

She hugged Nino back but looked up, searching for Adrien.

He was standing next to the couch, waiting for his turn, an amused smiling decorating his face. He had a pink present bag hanging from his hand.

"Hey, enough with that, Adrien wants to say hi too, babe," Alya said, poking her boyfriend's back.

"Just two more seconds, Alya. She fainted right in front of my eyes, you know? I was so scared,"

"He was," Adrien chuckled. "But I was there too, so move, I want my hug,"

"Okay, okay," Nino unwrapped Marinette and made his way to Alya, hugging her instead.

Adrien was not as effusive as Nino had been, but Marinette felt his love either way. Adrien was careful, he sat down next to her in slow motions and he hugged her so tenderly, that Marinette felt like she had been touched by a cloud, but after the first touch, something in Adrien changed and so did his hug. He held her tight, and pressed his nose against the curve of her neck, leaving a sneaky kiss, that only Marinette and he would ever know about.

"Don't scare me like that again," He whispered against her skin.

"I… I won't," Marinette promised.

Adrien did not let her go for a long time, but for Marinette, it felt like a second. He was so soft and warm, and this hug was everything she could wish for and more, and somehow she was not melting on his arms. Somehow, she did not feel like the luckiest girl in the world, because a part of her heart was breaking, and it was interfering with the part that loved him, a part that irradiated less and less love as the days went through, because all that love had changed places, making a mess of her heart and her mind. If her confusing feelings hadn't been proof enough, this hug was the concrete evidence. Her crush had died down.

She still liked him very much, and if he asked her out she wouldn't doubt it, she would say yes immediately but… but there was someone else. There had always been someone else, and now that he was gone she could finally reflect about it.

"Are you really feeling okay?" Adrien asked, finally breaking the hug.

"Yes, nothing hurts and I can think clearly," Marinette said, leaning against his shoulder, "Thank you, by the way. They told me you were my own personal hero," She teased him, poking the dimple on his left cheek.

Adrien giggled and gifter her a sweet smile.

"It was nothing, I did what had to be done,"

"No, you did more, thank you. I bet Chat Noir would be jealous if he heard," That made Adrien give a big laugh.

"Well, yeah, I bet, because he doesn't bring gifts with him," Adrien said. Marinette was about to argue with that, because he had given her flowers for her birthday, but she kept quiet, there was no need to bring that to the conversation.

Adrien was showing off the pink paper bag, he wiggled his eyebrows and he started taking stuff out of it.

"You can't pass out because of stress, Mari, not ever again, do you hear me?" He said, "I did some research and found out a lot of things that are good for self-care, so I went and bought you a ton of face masks," He took a bunch of colorful packages and placed them on the table in front of them, "These are Korean, I read Koreans are great on skincare, so I tried to get you the best ones I found. Did you know there's a store of only Korean products close to Bastille? I didn't, but now I do,"

"I did," Marinette laughed, "I go there regularly, so thank you, you just saved me a trip,"

"Amazing!"  
"What is so amazing?" Alya asked. Marinette turned to her, remembering her and Nino were there. She felt the heat rush to her cheeks. Oh my, they had been there the whole time she had been hugging Adrien?

As if Alya could read her thoughts she said, "We were downstairs, I went to collect the food your mother was talking about before,"

Marinette sighed in relief. Alya had probably left the room before Adrien started hugging her, giving them privacy. Oh, she loved Alya.

"Ah," Marinette nodded, "Adrien was showing me a few things he got me, isn't he amazing?"

"Oh, the self-care stuff?" Nino asked. He made his way to the sofa, circling the table so he could sit on the other side of Marinette. "He was so annoying about it, so you better use it,"

All of them laughed, except Adrien who looked frustrated.

"Oh, dude, you know it is a joke," Nino reached for his shoulder and squeezed, "I really think is awesome that you did it,"  
"I think so too," Marinette nodded, "Show me more,"

"Okay, I also bought some essential oils and, these," He took a lime green package, "These are natural stress medicine. They work really well to lower down anxiety levels and they are all made with natural ingredients, no chemicals or drugs, so totally safe!"

"That's cool!" Marinette said, but what she really wanted to say was that she was not stressed. However, Adrien was doing his best to take care of her, so she was not going to be mean about it.

"But you can't take these now. They may be natural but you're still on medicine so I don't want to risk it,"  
"I'm not taking any medicine," Marinette tilted her head to the side.

Adrien's knitted his eyebrows "Uh.. now, but you had morphine, right? Probably still running on your system,"

"No, they stopped the morphine last night, to see if she was still in pain since she did not show up any signs of it, they kept her with two doses of paracetamol, and they stopped that once she woke up, so she is drug-free! See, she is really okay," Alya said.

Marinette gave a toothy grin, happy with her friend's words, then she gave a look at Adrien. And her heart stopped. He had looked so excited, so happy and now a dark shadow crossed his face.

"Adrien?" Marinette asked. She kneeled on the sofa and leaned closer to him, "Hey' are you okay? What's wrong?"

Adrien shook his head and looked at her. There was something new in the way she looked at her, there was still adoration in there but something else that she couldn't place because no matter how she tried to call it she came out with "disappointment" and she did not want to believe Adrien could see her like that. Also, there was no reason why he would look at her that way, there was no reason to way his mood had changed so easily, so what was it?

"Adrien," The three friends said at the unison.

Adrien rubbed his eyes and smiled. A model smile. Marinette felt her stomach twist.

"Sorry, I just remembered something," Adrien clicked his tongue, "I'm sorry, let's go back to where we were,"  
They agreed and Adrien kept showing the things he had brought, but Marinette couldn't shake the bad feeling away.

Something had changed and she did not like it.


	10. Vacancy

Adrien's second session with Isabel had been wild.

He spoke like there was no tomorrow and he almost revealed the real connection he had with his girl.

Fortunately, Isabel was good at her job. She was able to calm him down and guide him through some of his theories of why she would have disappeared of his life.

At the end of the session, Adrien felt better but he did not have a perfect solution to his problem. That was not Isabel's fault, that laid on the difficulty of his situation, he couldn't tell her that he had a mind connection. If he could, if it didn't mean look like an insane person, he would have. After two sessions he was already fond of Isabel, he was sure she would help him out if she knew the whole, and real, story.

What she recommended was to talk to a friend about it, and when he heard it he laughed. If he couldn't talk to her, what difference would it make to talk to one of his friends?

He left and in the road, when he found himself inside of his car, feeling lonely again, the idea was not so crazy as it had sounded minutes ago.

When he stepped in school, the advice was utterly fantastic.

Marinette was back in school. She was smiling and greeting everyone, talking and laughing with the multitude of people who were trying to see how she was doing.

Marinette was back and radiating happiness as she always did and his darling was not back on his mind.

He greeted her too but did not stay with everyone. He could excuse himself saying that he had already seen her a few days ago, but actually, he just wanted to escape from there.

He was losing his rational state, and Isabel words echoed in his head a million times. Isabel could help him, but she wasn't his friend, she could only do what a therapist was supposed to do, he did need a friend to talk with.

Adrien ran to the music classroom. Nino had not been in the classroom, so most probably, he was in the music room playing with a few instruments or making out with Alya.

When he opened the door, he found the later, but he was so desperate to talk to his best friend that he left the embarrassment to pass him by, and ran to Nino's direction, took him by his arm and pulled him away from his girlfriend.

He heard Alya's angry scream, but he didn't look back, he kept running and pulling Nino until he found a good corner to talk where they wouldn't be interrupted.

He did not give Nino time to catch his breath, he started spilling information like there was no tomorrow.

Nino tried to slow him down, but it was pointless, once Adrien opened his mouth he was not able to stop.

Adrien kept talking and telling him about his girl. He made clear that he knew her since the beginning, that she was always there for him. Nino kept nodding and looking at him, he was fully concentrated on him. Adrien was talking fast, but he was making sure to not give up the big secret immediately, he was really building up the story so Nino could understand how much this girl meant to him.

But there was a moment when he couldn't say more without giving away the secret, so he just did.

He said so fast, faster than any of the other words, and he kept talking about it, including how sad he was feeling that she was gone. He half expected that Nino had not understood what he said, but his expression let him know that he had heard loud and clear.

"Wait, wait, wait," Nino put his hands up, telling him to stop, "Rewind a little bit. Did you just say _telepathic_ connection? You just said she was i _nside your mind_?"

Adrien scratched the back of his head and gave a nervous smile in return.

"Don't laugh," Adrien pleaded. "I'm telling you the truth,"

"I'm not laughing, Adrien," Nino squeezed his shoulder, "Did I hear well then?"

"Yes," Adrien nodded.

"Ah…" Nino threw his head back, he rubbed his cheeks with his hands and turned back to Adrien once again, "So, you have had this… girl… in your mind,"

"Yeah,"

"Since you're little,"

"I'm quite sure she's been there since I was born but I don't remember so let's say she is been there since I was four," Adrien explained.

"Cool, cool, cool," Nino nodded, "And this girl, has a name?"

"Quite sure she has one, but we haven't managed to tell our names, the bond doesn't let us,"

"That sucks,"

"It does," Adrien sighed, "I don't know if you caught it since I spoke so fast, but I know she lives in Paris. We tried to find each other once but we couldn't, we haven't tried again… and now she is gone,"

"Is this why you've been acting so weird?" Nino asked.

"Do you actually believe me?" Adrien said at the same time.

Nino shrugged "We are attacked by a person that has been possessed by a butterfly one or two times a week, the butterflies are sent by a crazy man that wants some magic jewelry, and we are saved on a daily basis by two superheroes that have the power of destruction and creation. Believe me, having a telepathic bond sounds more plausible than all that crazy rage that we have going on in the city,"

"Oh," Adrien giggled. A weight had been lifted up of his shoulders.

"Yeah man," Nino giggled too, "Now answer my question, is this the reason why you've been so odd these past weeks?"

"Sort of," Adrien said, "She is gone Nino, she has never left for so long, and I miss her,"

Nino's mouth set on a harsh line, "She really means to world to you, doesn't she?"

"Of all the things I have, she was the greatest," Adrien whispered, "I have it all, everything that money can buy it's mine, and if I wanted more my father would hire someone so they could create it and then buy it, because that's what he thinks love is. But, he can't give me this… I wish he could,"

Nino pulled Adrien and found him in a hug. He pressed his head against the crook of his neck and patted his back. The hug took Adrien by surprise, and it broke something inside of him. Tears started to fall, all of a sudden all his pain was starting to manifest.

"She's gone, Nino," He bit his lip so he wouldn't sob, "Am I not worthy of love? Is that what it is all about? Everyone leaves,"

"I have not left you, Adrien," Nino's voice was like a dagger, "You're worthy of love, don't say that. _I love you_ , you're my best friend in the whole world and I will never leave you. And I bet this girl you tell me about has not left you either. There must be something that you are not seeing,"  
"There's nothing left to see Nino, she is avoiding me," Adrien pinched the bridge of his nose, "I know how our bond works and as much as I've tried to come up with an explanation, this is the only one left and it makes sense,"

"When was the last time you… spoke? Yeah, the last time you spoke to her,"

"A week ago, but our connections have been different for a while, I thought something was malfunctioning, sometimes we had this sudden breaks and we couldn't talk to each other but she always came back,"

"And you have no clue of what could be different this time?"

"Not now," Adrien blew a raspberry, "I thought she was Marinette,"

"What?" Nino said in a pitched scream.

"She just… she fit her description and she was, she was her," Adrien sulked, "I was so sure she was Marinette, that's why I was avoiding her because I thought _she_ was avoiding me,"

"That explains a lot. Why are you so sure she is not?"

"Because there's no reason for her to ignore me, right? When she fainted and we found out that she had these horrible headaches for the whole week, I thought that would explain everything. I was so happy Nino, I had found her and she was not avoiding my on propose, and then I just waited for her to wake up, I thought she would be back but you announced she was awake and she was not inside my mind. I was desperate so I organized my thoughts and examined all the elements, and came out with this hypothesis that the morphine they injected her with had blocked the connection, but Marinette had no morphine on her when we met her and my girl was not back. She is not Marinette,"

"Mmm," Nino touched his chin in an I'm-thinking manner. "I don't know Adrien, I wouldn't discard it either, I mean, you know more about your own bond that what I can theorize, since you only told me about this five minutes ago, but if you don't completely understand how it works and you don't have her name I wouldn't delete Marinette from your list,"

"Don't say that," Adrien whined, "I don't want her to be Marinette anymore. I hate Marinette,

"You do not," Nino narrowed his eyes and smirked.

"Yes, I do. I can see why Chloé dislikes her so much," Adrien crossed his arms in front of his chess, "I hate the way she speaks, I hate the way she smiles and how her laugh sounds like chimes, and I hate the way she moves, have you seen her? How can someone so clumsy move with such elegance, I can't take my eyes off her, her hips swing in this way that-

"Okay, okay I get it," Nino put his hands against his chest, "You think she is hot,"

"I hate that she _is_ ," Adrien huffed, "That picture Alya posted of her on her birthday? Ugh, _my fucking death sentence_ , I can't erase that image of my mind, that dress, and those curves, and- ah! I hate her,"

"You do not," Nino giggled.

"I do! She is so easy to like, so beautiful, so funny, so kind. I hate that I can't stop thinking about her. I hate that I might love her and for all the wrong reasons,"

"Adrien, you like her. You thought she was this girl you have in your mind, but I think that was only a plus for you. You like her because she is Marinette, and you wanted her to be the girl inside your head because she means a lot to you,"

"Nino, I need to organize my thoughts and rearrange my feelings. Okay, I don't hate Marinette, but I've been bothered about the way I feel about her. She means the world to me, you know? and I won't deny it, I'm attracted to her, like _a lot_ , but what if the feelings I have are only there because I thought she was the girl I was looking for. If I ask her out and then realize I only liked her romantically because of that it will ruin things between us,"

"Woah, no one said you should ask her out," Nino interrupted, "I'm just telling you to not take her out of the list. If you thought it was her, there must be a reason, and I don't think this blackout you're passing through is the best moment for you to make decisions. You're affected by this, so you could be reckless,"

"Blackout? Do you imply that she could come back?"

"You love her and she is "the greatest thing you've ever had", I bet you're the same for her," Nino hugged him again, "I doubt she is doing this willingly, Adrien, so wait. I'll help you through this. We can do research, maybe someone else in the world has been in your same position,"

"You're taking this awfully well, Nino," Adrien rose a brow.

"Stranger things have happened, my friend," Nino passed one arm over Adrien's shoulders, "Also, we have been friends for three years, I can tell this is important to you, so who cares if it is weird? You need help, I'll be the shoulder you can lean on,"

"You're the best," Adrien smiled.

"Well, thank you, so are you," Nino rubbed his shoulders, "Now, let's get your mind out of this for a few moments, okay? Tell me, have you told your father you want to live on your own once you graduate?"

"Did you really have to bring that up? I haven't thought about that in months," Adrien rose a brow.

"C'mon, I know the idea is still running around your brain. I want to know if you have a plan you convince your old man, I would love to go play video games with you in your cool apartment near the Seine," Adrien laughed.

"Okay, actually there's not much to say because, as I already mentioned, I have not thought about it in a while, but since you brought it up you could help me out with that list of reasons I was making months ago," Adrien smiled and then looked around "But in some other place, we are looking suspicious,"  
"Yeah, you're right, let's go back,"

 **xx**

"You're acting strange," Alya poked Marinette's face, "I'm starting to worry, Nette. I don't think your attitude has anything to do with your headaches,"

Marinette looked up, finding Alya's narrowed eyes. She was examining her, she was a guinea pig on Alya's eyes now.

"It doesn't," Marinette sighed. "I mean not exactly… I don't feel wrong if that is what you're trying to say, I'm just thinking…"  
"You've been doing that for hours, even days by now. You are in your own world,"

"I'm trying to figure this, _thing_ , out but it's proving to be impossible,"

"You're stressing yourself for nothing, Mari. People get sick, and you are under a huge amount of stress-

"It was not for stress," Marinette glared at her, "Come here," She stood up and pulled Alya to a less crowded place than the classroom where they were spending the recess.

"What's wrong?" Alya said, stopping her for going any further, "Does it have to do with… well you know," Marinette nodded.

Alya sighed "Then let's enter that classroom, it should be empty now,"

Marinette nodded and followed Alya to the empty room.

"I think it's a magic issue," Marinette whispered, closing the door behind her "I don't know what kind of magic it could be, but I'm doing my best to figure something out,"

"Did Chat Noir said something about it?" Alya asked.  
"No," Marinette extended the o, "I have not told Chat about it,"

"Why not? Why are you telling me and not him? That's strange,"  
"Because you're my best friend," Marinette shrugged.

"He should know,"

"He can't know," Marinette said, this time more sincere.

"Why? Marinette this is strange, you never leave Chat out of the loop, you always make sure he knows what is going on,"  
"Well he doesn't know me outside the suit, so I don't want to worry him,"

"If that's a problem, I bet we could fix that, at this very moment,"

"No," Marinette narrowed her eyes. Not this conversation again.

"Why are you so afraid to know who he is?"  
"I'm not afraid," Marinette hissed, "We don't need to know each other's identities to work together. The only reason I know who you are is that I chose you, and you know who am I because you're too smart and figured it out on your own and I was unprepared and couldn't come up with an excuse on the right moment. We are not supposed to know, it's dangerous"

"I don't think it's dangerous. You've known him for three years, Mari, not knowing is more an obstacle than an advantage at this point in your relationship. I think you would work better if you knew who was behind that mask. Also, you're not just co-workers anymore, you're friends,"

"My answer is no, I won't change my mind," Marinette said between clenched teeth, "And we are not discussing that. I need to ask you a favor,"

Alya rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest, "Shoot,"

"I need you to cover for me,"

"Are you skipping school?" Alya opened her mouth, showing how surprised she was. "You've missed too many classes, Marinette, I thought you-

"I know what I said but I got no choice, my mom is like a hawk these days," Marinette huffed, "So please, I need Rena Rogue. I'm going to visit the guardian and ask him about the headaches, I don't know how long it'll take but if it's related to magic as I believe, we'll take our time and I can't leave Chat alone,"

"Why are you asking me like I would have said no? I always help out, I _love_ to help, you know that,"

"Yes I do, but it is because Chat is going to ask you what's going on with me and I don't want him to know yet. I need you to tell him that I'm fine, that I had a family or a school thing that I could not escape from, and left the miraculous with you in case anything happened,"

"I don't like lying to him," Alya pursed her lips, "You don't like it either. What is really going on? Why don't you tell him you had a horrible headache and that you're trying to figure it out? He'll get worried but he is smart and mature when he needs to,"

"I can't tell you, okay? Just do this for me,"

"I'm going to do it, that doesn't mean I won't ask for real answers," Alya extended her hand at Marinette, "Give me the box, boss,"

"Don't call me that," Marinette whined, but took the box out of the bag and gave it to Alya, looking around to assure no one was spying on them.

"Oh, c'mon it's a joke, because well, you're the boss, even if you don't like to be," Alya said. Her face was still stoic but her voice was full of laughter.

"There are no bosses in this team," Marinette reminded her, "But if anything happens today, take care of Chat for me, _please_. Something is going on with him, he hasn't said anything but his been lacking on the joke department so it is pretty obvious to me. Don't let him do anything dumb, he tends to be more reckless than usual when something is bothering him,"  
"Will do,"  
Marinette felt relieved. With Alya taking care of Chat Noir she would feel less guilty about visiting Master Fu without telling him.

She was not supposed to do that, she had promised him that she would involve him on any business that required Master Fu's help.

"And Alya," Marinette called before entering back into the classroom, "Tell him that I miss him and I'll see him tonight on the _Pont de Bir-Hakeim,"_

"You two really like to hang out there, is there a reason?"

"Not really, is less touristy than other points, but is close to the Eiffel Tower so it's a strategic point," Marinette shrugged, "Also, Chat watched _Inception_ recently,"

That made Alya laugh. ", That explains it, I'll talk to him about it, take his mind out of you,"

"I never leave his mind," Marinette stuck out her tongue.

"Woah, that egocentrism, Mari,"  
"What? It is true," Marinette giggled, "He, too, never leaves my mind. We've been through so much together, and he is one of my best friends, he is always in my mind, even if I don't notice,"  
The bell rang interrupting their conversation. Marinette looked at the time on her watch and hugged Alya goodbye.

She crossed her fingers, hoping there would not be any akuma incidents today. Alya was stressed with the end of the academic year being just around the corner, she did not want to put more pressure on her. And if there was an akuma, hopefully, she would be able to leave soon, but that depended on how much Master Fu actually knew, and if he could help her figure it out how to bring her boy back. She was not leaving that house without getting any answers.

 **xx**

Marinette would have liked to know exactly what expression she was making when Master Fu opened the door to make him react the way he had.

He really thought the world was crumbling or one of them had lost their miraculous, but Marinette was quick at giving explanations and assuring him -a few hundred times- that nothing of sorts had happened and that she was here because of a personal issue.

Tikki had to intervene too because Master Fu kept coming up with questions regarding the miraculous and Papillon.

He forgot about it when Marinette began with her story and described the headaches and her recent hospitalization.

"What makes you believe the headaches are a consequence of magic?" Master Fu asked. He took one of the teacups of the coffee table and poured green tea on it, giving it to Marinette.

Marinette accepted the teacup and bowed to him. Marinette only did the manner when her Chinese half of the family was around, but with Master Fu, it had become a habit now.

She took a sip before speaking again, "I take care of myself. I lose sleep and free time because of my Ladybug duties, and the end of the year is always chaotic, especially this year because it's my last, so I was responsible. I've been taking care of myself, and I know those headaches and the faint were not because of stress or lack of sleep. But… that's not all,"

Master Fu rose a brow. His piqué of interest was quite clear. "I'm listening,"

"What do you know about telepathic bonds?" Marinette voice went down an octave. She could not remember who was the last person she told about his connection because it had been a long time ago. Tikki did not count, she was not a person and she was pretty much a ball of magic, so she had not been nervous mentioning it.

"That depends on what kind of telepathic bond you want to know about,"

"There are different kinds?"

"Of course," Master Fu gave a tender smile, "Kwamis have one, they can feel each other and send short messages. Miraculous holders, especially the ones with complementary energies can achieve to build a bond that allows them to have something similar to the kwamis. Those kinds of connections take years and are extremely hard to dominate, so they are rare,"

"It's not with Chat Noir," Marinette shook her head, "I… I… sorry, I have not talked about this with another human since I was little, it's hard for me,"

"Don't worry about it, Marinette. Take your time,"

Marinette took another sip of tea, she left the cup on top of the table and shook her arms, releasing the anxiety.

"I have a mind connection with a guy, I've had it since I can remember," Marinette said, "Our connection is strange, we can't tell each other our names and sometimes the connection disappears and I can't hear him, actually, when I transform into Ladybug I'm not able to hear him, but he always comes back. We mostly talk, sometimes we can send each other images but it takes a lot of our energy and a few times... I was able to feel what he was touching," Marinette felt her cheeks turn hot.

"Interesting. You say he's always been there?"

"Yes," Marinette nodded.

"Mm," Master Fu rubbed his chin, "And what relation has this bond with the headaches you were talking me about?"  
"Oh, yeah," Marinette giggled nervously.

She swallowed hard and opened her mouth. She was trembling, it was still hard to say it out loud. "He is gone,"

"The bond disappeared?"  
"I'm not sure," The agony on her voice was unmistakable, "The past months it was harder to talk to him, I thought it was him putting more walls than usual because he is going through rough times and he didn't want me to see. The headaches started and I can't remember how the connection was working, the pain was unbearable and it was the only things I was focused on, but when I woke up at the hospital my brain was silent. I have this analogy, that my head is like a house, and when he is in there, it feels like he is on the second floor. I can hear his footsteps and if he screams I hear, and when we decide to talk is because he went downstairs and it is in the same room as I am. Sometimes we are on the same floor and we are separated by a door of glass or maybe a curtain, the way I feel him and hear him is different, we believe it has to do with our mood or how aware we are of each other at that moment. My mind doesn't feel like that anymore, there's no house, only a little room that echoes my every thought. He is nowhere to be found, this is not right,"

"I'm so sorry to hear that, Marinette. I can see how distressed you are and I wish I could help you fix it," Master Fu said. His choice of words made Marinette's stomach form a knot, he did not sound hopeful, "Unfortunately," There it was, "I don't think I know much about this kind of bond,"

Marinette sighed defeated.

"For what you tell me, it fits with the description of a soulmate bond, but I know so little about it that I wouldn't like to say it for sure,"

"But what do you know about it?"

"It is an old bond, for what I've read, soulmate bonds were common when magic was more prevalent on the human world but humans separated themselves from magic the more advances they had in other areas, and the magic died down, as some magic do. It doesn't mean people don't have soulmates anymore, it just means that it's not so obvious anymore. Also, soulmates are not always romantic, so anyone could have that kind of bond," Marinette nodded and opened her eyes wide, encouraging him to keep going, "That's all I know, I'm sorry, Marinette. The kwamis may be more useful than I am. What I can tell you is that after listening to you, I also believe that your headaches are magic related,"

Marinette did not want to tell Master Fu that she had already asked Tikki. She just looked at her kwami and waited for her to say something, but she kept quiet.

Marinette furrowed her brows. Tikkis' attitude was strange, she was always ready to give her opinion and help Marinette, why not now?

Marinette waited a little longer, but it was clear that Tikki was not going to talk.

"So I'm not crazy, it could be magic,"  
"Absolutely,"

"Do you think it could be Papillon?" Marinette clenched her teeth, they chirped.

"Oh, no, there's no way," Master Fu waved his hands, brushing off the possibility "That would mean he knows who you are and if that was the case I don't think you would have Tikkir or your earrings. He would have used the chance to get them when you were at the hospital or he could have made you faint in one of the battles. Also, he doesn't have the power to do it, he only has Nooroo and the butterfly kwami has not such powers,"  
"That's what I told her," Tikki nodded. Marinette frowned at her. "I did,"  
"I know you did, but you also said that you were not aware of everything, miraculous owners kept a lot of things in secret from kwamis,"

"They do," Master Fu, Tikki and Wayzz, who had just woke up from his nap, said at the unison.

"We kwamis might be incredibly powerful and old, but we were not created to protect the miraculous stones, we were chained to them later on, so we don't know everything" Wayzz explained.

Marinette nodded, she had heard that from Tikki. That there was a time when she did not have an owner and that she did not lend her powers to humans so they could use them. Tikki never told the story with anger or resentment, but she never used the words "chained", now she was worried.

As if she could read her mind, Tikki turned to her, "Don't worry, Marinette is not like that," She smiled, "But Wayzz is right, we don't know everything. If I did, I would have already helped you find your boy,"

"I know," Marinette softened her expression and sent a flying kiss to her kwami.

"I can try to look for books and do research about the telepathic bond if you like, for know that's the only thing I can offer, I'm sorry it's not a solution,"

"It's fine," Marinette faked a smile because it wasn't fine. She was slowly crumbling, her heart ached and she couldn't handle her own weight. She had not only lost the voice of her boy, but she had also lost a part of her. She had no idea how much she depended on his presence, she felt so alone and weak without him there.

She had been hopeful, she really believed Master Fu was going to help her but she was still standing on square one.

He was gone and she wasn't going to get him back any time soon.

 **xx**

Chat Noir was sitting in the concrete structure of the iron bridge, waiting for Ladybug to arrive. He heard the metro and feel the shake of the structure when the wagons passed for the fourth time since he arrived there.

He was early but he was already bored of waiting for Ladybug. He wanted to see her, it had been a strange week with little to none akuma attacks, but the times there had been one they were both too busy to hang out after it. Patrols had changed its dynamic too, they had been strictly business, no hanging around or picnics under the moonlight. Of course, he had not realized that because he was too caught up on his own problems to realize that he was neglecting Ladybug.

He could not do that, that was horrible and Ladybug deserved nothing but the best. She was one of his closest friends, he loved her so much that he couldn't imagine if he lost her. He had already lost his girl, he could not lose Ladybug.

His talk with Nino was still echoing on the back of his mind. Nino was always positive but today he had exceeded the limit. There was nothing to hold on to and Nino was still jumping into the edge, but as crazy as his position was, it had to give Adrien hope.

Sadly, that hope had only lasted a few hours. He knew his connection, not everything about it, but he had lived with the telepathic bond for years now, he could recognize when something was wrong.

This lonely feeling was familiar to him too, he was used to be alone in a big house, now the loneliness was not only physical but psychological. He was trying to reach for her, screaming and kicking doors but she wouldn't open. She had abandoned him.

Just like his mother, just like his father, just like everything he loved. He still couldn't believe that there were so many ways to leave someone behind, but he kept adding more to the list.

He still wanted to believe that she was going to come back, but he knew better than to wish for impossible things.

He threw himself back, touching the cold concrete with his back and looked up to the night sky. He wondered what she was doing on that beautiful night. She was probably working on her portfolio, finishing the last details of some design, probably at peace because he was not peering and annoying her.

The truth was that he always needed her more than she needed him, actually, she probably didn't need him, she just had to get used to him.

No, that wasn't it, as sad as he was he couldn't believe that.

She cared about him but now she was done with him. Was it because of his depression? Was he too much to handle that she decided to walk away? He wouldn't blame her if that was the case, he could be bringing her down and he only wanted happiness for her, so he would understand. He would have liked if she had warned him though, then he wouldn't be wondering. It would still hurt, but he would have been prepared.

"The metro will run over your tail, kitty," She said, announcing her arrival.

Adrien gave a lopsided smile before standing up and look at her.

Oh, he had missed her.

"Good night, my beautiful lady," He made a reverence and reached for her hand, leaving a kiss on top of it, "It's been so long I thought I was going to-" He stopped mid-sentence, when he looked up and saw his eyes, he couldn't continue, all his jokes were forgotten and he could only focus on her red eyes and under eye circles, "My lady, what's wrong?"  
She opened her mouth, the expression on her face was familiar and he got ready to hear the lie she was going to come up with, but at the last second, she retreated. Tears gleamed in her eyes, she pouted and hid her face behind her hands. Her whole body began to tremble.

"Oh, no, bug,"

He caught her in his arms, she wrapped her arms around him and broke into a loud shower of tears.

He looked around, something really bad should have happened if she was out in the open crying, they were in an extremely public place, this wasn't like her. Ladybug was always open with him, they would talk on patrols and she would say as much as she could without revealing her identity. However, but he could count the times with the fingers of his left hand how many times he had seen her cry, and it had never been as uncontrollable as this time. He could feel her falling apart, if he didn't hold her in his arms, he was sure she was going to drop to the ground. He could feel her despair, he did not know what was wrong, but his heart ached for her.

He caught her from her legs, so he could carry her princess-style, he was going to take her to a more private place. She was vulnerable, he was not going to let other people see her like that.

Ladybug didn't flinch or pushed him away to stop him. She changed the position of her arms, wrapping them around his neck this time, and hiding her face against his chest.

"Don't worry, my lady, you'll be fine," He whispered before start running, "I'll make sure of it,"  
Chat Noir ran as fast as his feet and his powers allowed him to, looking for one of the churches they used to hide when they had to discuss serious subjects.

He entered using one of the bell towers as an entrance, going down a few floors until reaching one flat where the stained glass mosaic was making beautiful shapes on the ground thanks to the moonlight.

He walked to the glass with Ladybug still on his arms, he sat down pressing his back to the window and adjusted his partner so she could comfortably sit on top of him.

Ladybug's crying had ceased but she was still shaking and sobbing, her head was still pressed against his chest and he was reluctant to let him go, hugging him more tightly than before they arrived at the church.

Adrien felt extremely useless just holding her. He couldn't come up with anything comforting so he could calm her down a little, and then she could be able to talk.

What could have happened to her to leave her in this state?

"Whatever it is, you're going to be fine, _buginette_ ," He whispered in her ear, "That's a promise, because I'm here for you, and I won't leave you until you're fine,"

Between sobs, she finally spoke, "You're the best, you know that, kitty?"

Chat Noir smiled, "If you say so, my lady,"

"You're, I'm being serious," Ladybug looked at him. Her eyes were redder than before and a few tears were still rolling down her cheeks, but a little smile had been drawn in her lips.

Chat Noir cleaned the teardrops away with the back of her hand, making sure not to scratch her with his claws.

"Okay, okay, I'm the best," He grinned, "Only if you're the best too,"

"Of course," She giggled but a sob cut it short.

He brushed pieces of her away from her face and kissed her temple.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

She shook her head, licked her lower lip and looked up, all a tactic he had seen before, she was trying to keep the tears from falling.

He nodded and tilted his head to press his forehead against hers.

"I had a fun patrol with Rena today," He started saying. If she did not feel like talking, he was going to be doing it, maybe he could take her mind out of her problems, "She's quite a character, never stops impressing me-you're still my favorite, my lady, want to make that clear," She giggled, "But she is really fun, even when she is making fun of me half of the time,"

"She is really great," Ladybug agreed. "But don't let her have too much fun, only I can make fun of you,"

"Jealous much?"

"No," She rubbed her cheek against his chest, "But you're my kitty,"  
"Always," He smiled at her, finding her sight. "Are you feeling better?"

"A little bit," She nodded. She unlocked herself from him, she kept one hand on top of his shoulder and changed her position so she could sit right next to him, still leaning against him, but without crushing him with her weight. "Thank you,"

"Anytime, you know I'm always here for you, LB,"

"Yes, I know," She cupped his cheek and gave a tender smile, "And I'm always here for you,"

"I know too,"

"I'm going to be a hypocrite by requesting this, but can you tell me what's been bothering you these past weeks?"

Had she noticed? Of course, she had, she could read him as easily as he could read her.

"I'm already sad, don't make me feel angry," Ladybug spoke again, her thumb caressed his cheek, "So please tell me,"

He did not know why it felt different to confess why it was harder to confess why he was hurting to Ladybug than it had been with Nino. If he thought it with logic, it would make more sense for Ladybug to understand his situation because she had magic herself, the possibility of a telepathic bond wouldn't be so crazy.

Maybe it was because it had nothing to do with magic because if it was like that he would have already told him all about it years ago, he trusted her that much. Maybe it had to be with the fact that he still had feelings for her, not as strong as they had been before, but feelings indeed.

Or maybe it was because his darling had been a secret for so long, and it was such a dear secret, that he wanted to keep it all to himself.

He really did not know, and he was not about to find out that night, because when he decided to talk, he also chose to leave the important details hidden.

"Someone I loved walked out of my life," He said. That was explanation enough.

"Oh," Her answer was unusual, and her silence even more. She was always so fast at cheering him up, she always knew what to say. Tonight she really was out of it. "Did… did they leave?"

"I don't know," Chat Noir clicked his tongue, "Without a warning, they stopped talking to me,"  
"They're horrible, they don't deserve you!" Ladybug shout, no impulse control went through that action.

"Oh, bug, I wish that was true, but she is one of the kindest, most lovely people I've ever met," He sighed, "I must have done something to get her angry,"  
"Then she'll be back!" Ladybug cupped his cheeks and turned his head to face hers. "I assure you,"

Chat Noir sighed. Ladybug was really going through something, her words were drenched in emotions, and that was not her usual self. She was emotive but also extremely logical. He couldn't blame her, at least she was doing her very best to cheer him up.

"I don't want to be a pessimist, bug," Chat Noir sighed again, "But if there's one thing that it's a patron in my life is people leaving, and when people leave they never come back,"

Ladybug's expression changed, her tender eyes narrowed, her brows furrowed and her mouth sat in a hash line. He could hear her teeth chirping. She opened her mouth, he could only imagine what she was about to say next and then, her expression went back to a sweet smile and soft eyes.

"Chat Noir," She said, her voice like honey.  
"Yes?"

"I will never leave you, that's a promise and I _don't_ break my promises,"

Chat Noir smiled, he tilted his head and nuzzled against her hands.

"I know, my lady, but also there's no way you're getting rid of me," Chat grinned.

Ladybug chuckled, "Silly kitty," She bumped his nose, making him smile wider.

She leaned against his shoulder, he crossed one arm on top of her shoulders and held her close to his body.

"I love you, my lady,"

"I love you, minou,"


	11. Pin

Marinette sat on the last table of the café. She was playing with the straw on her lemonade, circling it around and splashing drops of the citric drink all around the table. She didn't mean to do in on purpose, she was just _that_ anxious. She had been for a week now and no one really understood.

Well, there was someone, Chat did know the truth but not to a full extent, and still, she had been keeping things pretty chill after breaking down on his arms. She did not want to put more pressure on her partner when something was going with him.

Before changing the page she was reading, she took one post-it note and put it on top of the printed image, writing on top of the pink paper all the things she did like about the venue she was reviewing and all the ones she did not like.

The class president had a lot to work in she could not risk being distracted. But, as a superheroine, Marinette knew that things did not always stick to the plan.

The end of the school year was just around the corner, so was graduation and the party they were organizing to celebrate, and as a diligent president, she and the other two class presidents were in charge of every little detail that it implied.

Marinette had to find a good place, pretty and big enough to make the party, look for decorations and finding the right dessert catering.

The last part was easy, and it had been already taken care of weeks ago. She asked the committee if they were alright with her hiring her parents for the job and everyone had agreed with fervent enthusiasm. She could not look for decorations if she did not know the place they were going to decorate, so that was what she was doing at the moment.

She had seen over fifty restaurants, clubs and coffee shops big enough to fit all the students, but she had not been enamored by any of the places.

Alya thought she was being picky, Marinette thought she was being a good president, she could not choose any place, this was probably the last party they would have with all the classmates, it had to be special.

Maybe the selection of the place would be more effective if Marinette's mind went fully into it, but it wasn't the case.

It had been two weeks without her boy and Marinette was losing her sanity.

Master Fu hadn't found anything that could help her and Tikki had done as many magic-readings as Marinette had asked for, but she couldn't give any explanation either.

It was impossible to find the root of the problem because it wasn't the headaches, that had obviously been the consequence of the real reason behind the missing connection.

"Marinette," Tikki called from her purse.

She looked down at her and took half of the courtesy cookie that came with her piece of cake and passed it to Tikki. The kwami shook her head and refuse to take the cookie.

"Are you sick?" Marinette asked worriedly. It was not like Tikki to refuse a biscuit.

"I'm worried about you, you're radiating strong negative energies right now, Marinette,"

"I miss him a lot," She sighed.

"I know but he wouldn't like to hear you're down, you need to cheer up a little,"

That was true if her boy was there and he saw her so depressed he would throw a fit and do his very best to put a smile on her face.

But he wasn't there.

Marinette slurped her lemonade and fixated her sight at the other side of the room and saw the door opening, recognizing immediately the boy stepping inside the cozy café.

"Not now," She whined frustrated.

Rearranging her table and moving her chair close to the wall to be less seen. Marinette put up the notebook she was using and hid behind it, taking a position that looked forced from every single angle but hopefully if Adrien did see her, he would ignore her like he had been doing in school.

Well, ignoring was a strong word to describe what he had been doing. He still talked to her, he greeted her every morning and he would sit beside her if Nino hadn't arrived yet, but he didn't look for her in recess, he didn't initiate conversations, he was not the same Adrien he usually was, and that was about the same as ignoring her, in Adrien Agreste terms.

Nervously, she tilted her head, peeking out of the notebook to see if Adrien had sat down or bought something and left. Bad decisions because just in that moment, Adrien was scanning the area and saw her.

He smiled and pointed at her table, talking to the waiter who nodded in return.

"Hey, Nette," He waved and approached her table.

Marinette gave a little wave back and cleaned the stuff in front of her, so he would have space.

He drew near one of the chairs on the other table and sat down in front of her. "Are you waiting for Nino and Alya too? I did not know you were coming, I'm certain Nino said you were busy,"

"Uh, I am," The girl nodded, she pointed at the stationary in front of her, "Class president business going on as you can see,"

"The party?" Adrien rose a brow and took one of the papers on the table, studying the pictures printed on it. "This is pretty cute," He pointed out at the picture on the bottom. It was a café inspired on the Roaring Twenties in the USA.

"Too small," Marinette thought it was cute too, but they would need a bigger space.

"The one next to it looks cool too," A club where everything was white, boring at first glance but once you considered all the colorful lights and flashes, it would be indeed cool.  
"Shady neighborhood,"

"This one?"

"Really ugly,"

"Do you say more than two words?" Adrien teased.

"Do you?" Marinette backfired.

He was taken back, it was all over his face and in the shift of posture he had. She could understand why she wasn't expecting that sort of answer coming from her either. But she was allowed to, his behavior had been frustrating.

"Marinette, what's wrong?" Adrien took her hand on his, he rubbed his thumb on top of her knuckles. He looked at her with eyes so deep with emotion that Marinette was surprised she did not melt right in the spot.

"Nothing to worry about," Her teeth chirped. He was not going to turn the tables on her, she was trying to figure it out what was wrong with him, not the other way.

"There's obviously something wrong, you've been acting odd,"

"Well, you would know, wouldn't you?"  
The café was crowded and somehow the environment turned silent. The expression of hurt green eyes did not move anything inside her heart. Anger was a valid emotion in their situation.

Marinette was getting frustrated at how long it was taking Adrien to answer one single question. She would say more but felt afraid of how he would react if she kept pushing. One of her boys was already gone, she would not survive if she lost Adrien too. No, she would survive, it would be hard and it would hurt, but she would never survive if she lost Chat Noir. Thankfully, that was not something to worry about. Chat Noir would never leave her.

"Nette…" Adrien sighed. He ran his hands through his face, looking conflicted. "I'm sorry,"

She rose a brow and waited for more.

"I can't explain why I've been so distant, I've tried my best to pretend -I guess I wasn't successful- and I'm sorry I put you in the middle of it, it wasn't my intention,"

The rage that was building up inside of her found its realize with that phrase. She tried to push aside the subject because it was obvious that something as bothering Adrien and that his behavior had to be related to that, she always tried her best to understand him, to give him a chance but she was tired of it.

She took the last sip of her lemonade and bit the half cookie. Took her notebook and her bad and stood up of the table, ready to leave the coffee shop.

"Nette?"

"I'm leaving,"

"Did I say something wrong'?" Adrien stood up too. His hands were on top of the table, leaning towards her and the distress turned his eyes into a darker shade of green.

The tension could have been cut with a pair of Marinette's scissors. She didn't answer but kept staring at him, maybe he would realize what he had done wrong by himself.

"Marinette," He implored  
"I'm not in the mood for half-hearted apologies," _Or in the mood for anything else,_ "Maybe it wasn't your intention but you still hurt my feelings and I deserve a better apology. We are friends,"

"I can't say what is going on but I meant my apology," Adrien wrapped her hand around her wrist, taking one step further he ducked his head to be closer to her, "We are both going through stuff we don't want to talk about-

"Don't put this on me," Hissing she backed away from him and strutted away, leaving the café in record time.

The tears started falling pretty quickly. She had acted out, that was clear and she did not regret it but the guilt still made its way to her heart.

The look on Adrien's face when she left had pierced the deepest place of her heart.

The stress felt heavy on her shoulders.

Adrien was at fault but she had been hostile towards him when he was trying to apologize. She understood better than anyone that there was stuff you could not talk about. What if it was about his father? Had something gone between them? If that was the case it would make sense that he wouldn't talk. Adrien was vocal about their broken relationship but he never gave too much detail, if something bad had happened he would keep it under lock and key.

She was so stupid. The sadness was taking the best of her and leaving an insensible being in return.

"I need to find him," She said out loud.

The trigger of her negative attitude was his absence if she found him she would be herself again. If she somehow traced him then his absence wouldn't be a problem.

That was it! She had to trace him! She had enough information to start looking, to create a map and start discarding people.

It would be hard, obviously, since she didn't know his name, but he knew the important stuff, and her mind knew exactly where to start looking.

With a plan in mind, Marinette ran to her house at a fast pace, dodging people walking in her opposite direction, jumping posts on the way, and ignoring a few red lights and winning back a few honks for the action. But they were worth it because in less than ten minutes she was back, running upstairs to her room.

Her plan was easy in theory and hard to put in practice but she had to give it a shot.

In her way up the apartment, she took one of the big cardboard boxes of the bakery that they used to take medium but heavy packages. She was going to need it.

Already on her room, she started her mission.

The first thing to look for was the current notebook she was using to draw everything he described to her. That was easy since it was on top of the desk, looking for the older ones was harder.

Marinette pulled all the books and notebooks she had on the shelves under her desk, throwing them all to the floor and sprawling them so she could look for the ones she needed.

She took five of those and put them inside the box.

The next thing was the old iPod she had where all the playlist he had made for her were. She could use her phone to show him the new ones but there were archives of piano pieces that she had downloaded and recorded from YouTube pages and that were only inside of that iPod.

She looked on all of her drawers, on old shelves and hat boxes where she kept important objects, and of those, she selected the important objects she had, like replicas of gifts he said he would give her, gifts she had made for him and objects she had bought because they reminded of him. But the iPod didn't appear until she searched in the closet.

The box was filling up fast.

"Marinette you don't need so many things," Tikki said by her ear.

"I need as many things as I can Tikki," She answered, "They are the only thing that connects me to him. Without a name, I only have who he is and how he looks like and even that last part is a mystery, I only have assumptions," That reminded her of the many portrays she had made of him, trying to get the perfect boy so she could see him as he really was.

She put all in the box and leaned down to take it.

"Marinette you're going to hurt yourself,"

"I can handle it, the box is not so heavy," And she picked it up to show it

"I mean emotionally. You don't know his name nor where to start looking,"  
"I need to find him," She snapped. "And I have some idea to where to start, if you don't want to come I would say don't come but since you need to be with me, I'm sorry but this is the only option,"

She ran with the box in hand, ready to start her mission. Looking back she saw Tikki going behind her, just as she predicted and the room that was a complete utter mess.

"Where are we going first?" Tikki wondered.

"To Palais Garnier, maybe someone remembers him and his mother, if not we are going to other theaters, he frequently visits after his mother passed away and if not we are going to other places where piano recitals had been held. One of them had to be his'"

Tikki didn't answer but she looked taken back.

"It's the only way I can think of Tikki,"

"I know,"

"Can you just pretend with me? Let's pretend this will work,"

"I don't want to see you hurt,"

"I'm already hurt,"

Tikkis sighed, "Let's go,"

 **xx**

Adrien was still standing, hand extended trying to reach for Marinette but she was long gone now.

This was his fault but he still was surprised by how the situation had turned. The atmosphere was heavy as his heart was feeling.

Taking his phone out of the jacket's pocket, he texted Nino.

" ** _Something happened, I'll tell you later. Have fun with Alya x"_**

Waving and leaving a tip on Marinette's table, he started running after only minutes before she left.

He started running without a place to go, he only wished to catch a glimpse of dark hair and recognize Marinette in the crowd of people, but the truth was that she probably was kilometers away from him. If she took the bus or the metro she could be close to her home, he did take a long time to react and get out of the café.

Realizing it was useless to keep running, Adrien took a turn to his right and looked for the best spot to hide in the street he was walking on.

He hid between a wall and a construction zone covered with green cloth, he opened his jacket and let Plagg out.

"We are not home yet," He pointed out.

"We are not going home," Adrien shook his hair and clicked his tongue, the nervous motions were a way to try to let the uncertainty out. "We are going to visit, Marinette,"

"Are you deaf?" The tiny creature crossed his arms in front of him, "The girl was really angry at you,"

"But not at Chat Noir,"

"I'm always up for fun times with Marinette because she gives you good cheesecake but I don't think you're in your right mind now, kid,"

"Something is going on with her,"

"She was mad at you and she had her reasons," Plagg discussed, "I'm with miss Sugar on this one. Also, Weren't you so excited to tell your friends about your new apartment?"

"I was, but this is more important," Adrien scuffed, "And it's not certain that father will allow me to get the apartment, he just didn't say no immediately, that was what I was going to tell Nino,"

"Same difference," Plagg shrugged.

"We are visiting Marinette, and that's my last word," Adrien said, then he rose a brow, "Actually no, my lasts words are: _transformez-moi!_

If Plagg had complained, Adrien didn't listen. He was transformed in a second and five seconds before that he was running on the rooftops making his way to Marinette's house.

The run made him think some things trough. Plagg was kind of right, Marinette had the right to be mad at him and using his identity as Chat Noir to talk to Marinette, found out was happening to her and clean his image _was_ manipulative and dishonest. So when he arrived at her rooftop he did not know on the trap door. He changed rooftops and sat on the one in front of her balcony. If Marinette went out for air she would see him and if she was in the mood maybe he would get invited to share coffee and pastries with her. If not, then things were not meant to be.

Thanks to his extended senses in the Chat Noir suit, Adrien could hear sounds coming from Marinette's room. She was moving and throwing things, her steps were fast and she whispered unintelligible words every once in a while.

Adrien rested his head on his hands and waited.

He really wanted her to come up to her balcony but he knew he didn't deserve it. What a jerk he had been, Nino had been calling him out the whole week but he couldn't stop.

His suspicions would have died down if Nino wouldn't support his theory that Marinette was the girl on his mind, but the more he told him about her, Nino was convinced too and now it was a mess. He couldn't look at Marinette without feeling hurt, but he couldn't stop thinking that he could be wrong and that he would lose a friend for childish reasons.

Marinette had finally snapped and he was facing the consequences.

Adrien waited twenty minutes before changing spots and when he did, he saw Marinette through her window, running around mad, and then taking a box on her hands. She disappeared off the bedroom and he heard her steps going downstairs.

Realizing she was not going to go to the balcony, the frustration inside his heart grew but then his princess did go out.

Marinette crossed the bakery door and went out to the street with a box in her hands and determination written all over her face. She was walking but if she pushed it just a bit more she would have been running.

"Where are you going with such hurry, princess?" He whispered to himself and started running through the rooftops, behind her once again.

Wherever that took him.

After one metro trip and two plans of sneaking around, Chat Noir followed Marinette to their first stop, Palais Garnier.

He hid in the shadows of the old and beautiful building, staying at a distance of the girl, but close enough to not lose sight of her and while he could have used his enhanced senses he decided not to. He was going to give her privacy, it was not his business, he shouldn't be following her so it was only right to not intrude.

Whatever Marinette was looking for at Palais Garnier, she did not find it there, neither in the next three theaters and cinemas, she walked too.

She would get there in the reception and talk to the employees, sometimes they would make her pass inside and talk with other members of the staff, she would open her box, take a notebook and made them look through the pages.

What was inside those notebooks? What was Marinette showing them? Why did she look so sad when the employees shook their heads and put on confused or sad faces?

"What is she looking for?" Adrien asked to himself.

He would love to know what was so important to Marinette that she was walking with that box everywhere. His curiosity only grew as he followed Marinette through seven metro trips, several bus stops and kilometers on feet.

He thought of dropping to her side, offer her a ride to wherever she wished for but he guessed he would not be appreciated, her whole body screamed to leave her alone.

Adrien did not consider listening until they reached a more dangerous zone of the city. The streets were thin, the buildings were tall, the clouds were starting to cover the sky and take the light away with them, incrementing the shadows and the danger. Marinette was not in the best part of the city anymore and she was obviously distracted, too caught up on her own world. She would be an easy target if she didn't take her attention outof her goal.

"Please, M," Adrien whispered, begging her to stop for a second and realize where she was walking. But until then, he would follow much closer.

 **xx**

Spring was predictable. Like a good French citizen, she knew it but right now was not the time to start drizzle, she had important business to take care of.

The frustration was growing on her heart. Some of the people who had welcomed her on their theaters and studios were actually really nice and had tried their best to help her but without a name, it was hard to do so. Others were just rude and made fun of her impossible quest. But maybe it was, if she hadn't found him before when he was inside her mind, how could she find him now?

Marinette held the box closer to her so it would not get wet by the drizzle. It was still very thin to cause any damage but she would not risk it.

"Marinette," Tikki called her name with a warning on her voice. Going back to the reality outside of her, she saw her surroundings.

A group of three guys was walking _suspiciously_ close to her.

Looking over her shoulder she caught one of the boys' eyes.

"What do you have there, gorgeous?" The tallest one asked.

The tone of his voice, the laugh of his partners and their shady behavior made Marinette stand straighter and put on her fight face. If they thought they were being scary, they were wrong.

"None of your business," She spat back. She wasn't going to let them intimidate them. They didn't know this but she had seen bigger and scarier things than them and had kicked them right in the face.

"C'mon gorgeous we just want to talk, we don't get to see such pretty faces so often,"

"Boo must be sad to be you," Marinette started walking faster.

In a surprising move, that she felt angry she did not saw coming, the man standing closest to her took her arm and pulled her to him, making her lose her balance and drop her box.

She fell on top of the tall boy who moved and let her fall to the ground.

"So feisty yet so delicate," They laughed.

Marinette was ready to throw a fist when a svelt black figure stood in front of her. Blocking the way to the criminals.

From the corner of her eye, she could see the devilish grin appearing on the cat hero and the threatening glare he was giving them.

"I don't think I need an introduction since I doubt you have not heard about me, but-" He moved elegantly but with calculation. Marinette admired as he did it, he was about to put on a show and she was ready to watch, "-my name is Chat Noir, you must know a thing or two of what I do,"

The three boys' Adam's apple bobbed, the fear was obviously pulsing inside of them, it was easy to tell because their faces displayed quite well what they must have been thinking.

"I ju-just wante-ed her num-be-ber I swe-swearrr, we, I, I, we did not… it was a mistake," One of them finally spoke but it was hard to actually understand him with all the stuttering.

"Mistake, you say?" Chat Noir flipped the baton on his hands and pointed it to him, touching his chin and lifting it, "Oh, indeed that it was because you decided to mess up with the wrong girl. I mean, every girl is the wrong girl if it comes to do what you were doing, but this little lady right here owns a special part of my heart,"

The men gulped and shivered.

The rain started to fall harder, the scenario was perfect for Chat's theatrical antics. Between the anger, Marinette could not help but smile by seeing his partner on his element.

A playful toothy grin illuminated his face, " _Run,_ " He warned, it was an empty threat, as Ladybug she knew it but the boys did not and they did exactly as he said.

Running away from them, they kicked the box on their way, throwing the cover away and making her belongings roll and hit the ground.

Marinette's eyes widened. _No._

"Don't I deserve a hug, princess?" He asked, turning on his heels to face her, kneeling to help her, but Marinette's attention was on the box.

"No!"

Marinette stood up by herself and passed Chat Noir, running in the direction of the box. She dropped on her knees and stretched her body and arms to catch all the things she could. The rain was pouring down intensely, and all her notebooks were out there displayed, if she did not catch them fast she was going to lose all her drawings, the ink was going to run and the pages were going to crease and turn yellow.

Her despair did not let her think through, she tried to take all the notebooks, the boxes closer to her, catch them with her hands but they were too many objects and her hands were not that big.

"They're soaking," Marinette sobbed. The rational part of her was numb, it was impossible to find a solution and when she couldn't save them, she started crying.

Things were falling out of her hands, she pulled them back, she tried to reach for the box but her shivering body was moving at a slow pace.

She didn't saw when Chat Noir kneeled by her side or when he touched her.

"Marinette calm down!" He shook her shoulders and made her look at him.

With a piercing scream full of frustration, Marinette pushed him away, starting to recollect her things one more time.

These notebooks, these little objects were her last connection with him, if she lost them she would lose him too, this time forever.

 **xx**

Chat Noir sighed.

If he assumed something was wrong with Marinette before, now he had confirmed it. Marinette was logical and she thought fast, her behavior now was anything but the girl he knew and he could only blame her emotions, they were taking the best of her.

She was desperate, she was crying uncontrollably and was doing her best to protect the notebooks. She was hugging them and putting them inside her cardigan, so they would not get wetter, but she was getting soaked in the process.

Adrien pulled the cardboard box that was starting to bend because of the water and placed it on top of a step under a roof to keep it from the rain and to use it since it was not entirely lost.

He took the notebook that was closest to him and pressed his lower arm against the wet pages hoping it would help them dry, but the material of his suit didn't absorb the water, in fact, he managed to move some ink.

That was bad, he hoped Marinette didn't notice.

He threw it to the box and did the same with three more. He was about to do the same with the fourth journal, a pink leather notebook that was open with the pages against the floor, but when he was about to close it a drawing caught his attention.

The object in the drawing was eerily familiar. He flipped it around to see the shapes with the right perspective and recognized a few shapes.

It seemed like a sculpture, strange shapes, edges, and angles but he had seen it before. He had seen it in his own house.

"Princess," He kneeled down and took Marinette by her shoulder, pulling her up with him as he stood up once again, refusing to let her stay on the cold and wet street.

"Chat," She whined and jolted her arm.

"Marinette," He said her name irritated. He turned the notebook on his hand and showed it to her. Pointing at the drawing he asked, "What is this?"

Marinette looked, checking what he was pointing at. She cleaned the tears that were still rolling on her cheeks with the back of her hand and sniffed.

"Princess?"

"A chocolate sculpture," Marinette sniffed, "A friend described it to me so it's not perfect, but that's what it is, or tried to be, I was eleven at the time,"

Something heavy landed on his stomach a sensation he would never describe as pleasing, but the rushing of his heart was another story.

He forgot Marinette for a minute and swiped the notebook pages, looking for something _more_ , a clue that would make his suspicions turn into truth.

He had been waiting for a moment to prove that he did not only have a hunch, that he actually had a solid case to have Marinette as his first suspect, and this was it, this was the moment he had wished so dearly.

It had to be the notebook Marinette, _his girl_ , used to draw everything he described to her. She had talked about it a few times and the chocolate sculpture had been one of the objects he spent time describing for her. He sat in front of the sculpture for hours to get every little detail, to remember every single curve and edge, all that he could tell for her to draw.

But, he could not use the chocolate sculpture he had just seen, because the young designer would have to know about her father's chocolate sculpture, and it was highly probable considering how much Marinette loved his designs.

He needed a drawing that would mean something for both, a specific drawing that could make the connection irrefutable.

He changed pages and went back a few, making sure he didn't miss anything until he reached one of the little pages that had color. Something popped between the bright red and blue colors, something different that told him these colors were not related to France as he first thought.

The traces were delicate and the drawing was the most real drawing he had seen in all the journal but it held something magical about it.

"Be careful," Marinette warned. She reached for the notebook and took it away from him, cleaning cautiously the borders of the pages.

She was not crying anymore but her eyes were a deep shade of red, just like her cheeks. There were not more notebooks or little boxes on the ground either. Marinette had put herself together but now it was Adrien who was losing his mind.

Chat Noir's breath got caught on his throat.

He saw the drawing from point of view, Marinette was cleaning the edges of the wet page, and carefully pressing the sleeve of her wool cardigan over the drawing. No matter how he saw it, the image was still the same. He knew what Marinette had drawn.

Bluebell eyes met his green eyes and he saw that she recognized the unsettling feelings blooming on his heart. She gifted him a smile and showed him the drawing, holding the notebook a few centimeters away from him.

"Did you like it? I'm very proud of it, I spent days on it. I don't know why but this object is very special to me, it is a-"

" _Pin_ ," He completed.

"Good guess," _It wasn't a guess._

"My best friend in the whole world bought it for me," She whispered and tears appeared on her eyes.

Adrien could see how broken she was. Marinette's mission made sense now. She was looking for _him_.

He had been right, Marinette was his girl, but he also had been wrong. It was impossible that she had closed the connection, it was written all over her face: she was missing him.

Something must have gone wrong to make their connection break but he would work on that later, right now he had to tell Marinette.

How to start?

This moment was nothing as he dreamed it would be. In his imaginary scenarios, their meeting was more dramatic and romantic, he held flowers and she would run to him, jump to his arms and they would cry together because they were finally together.

However, this was the moment, unplanned and in a dark alley of the city. He had no time to whine, he had to take away Marinette's pain and he only could do it if he revealed himself.

Of all the ways he could do it, he thought it would be easier to take back if it didn't trigger the conversation towards his goal. He doubted she would not react, he knew the perfect word. It was simple but effective.

" _Darling?"_ His chin bobbed a bit when the words dropped. The nickname had to ring a bell if she was missing him her thoughts had to go to him first.

He was nervous, once said the moment turned real.

Marinette's whole body quivered.

She looked over her shoulder and shook her head from side to side. A little smile, that Adrien could tell was as fake as the ones he would give his father, covered her lips.

"I thought I was 'princess'," The phrase sounded like a joke but it was a subtle way to tell him to not call her that. It was on her voice tone.

"You were darling first," He looked in his pocket and took the pin that he kept with him since her birthday and that he had started to bring with him on his suit once she vanished. He put it up, in front of his face and talked, "And you were _girl_ before that,"

Marinette followed the pin with her eyes, then they shifted to him, back to the pin and to him repeatedly.

"It's from Prague," Chat whispered, to give more assurance that, yes, this was him. "You wanted to go with me and see the marionette theater,"

Marinette gasped loudly.

In her face, he could see how she finally processed the information he was giving her.

Her box dropped to the pavement one more time.


	12. Tying Knots

If it was for Marinette, who called the shots most of the time, they would still be standing in the rain, getting soaked and with the box belongings all splattered on the ground.

But Chat acted when he realized Marinette had entered into a catatonic state. Was she really that surprised it was him? Had he never been a suspect? He was a masked blonde boy with a secret identity, he was as much of a mystery as the boy inside her mind had to be.

He took Marinette first, taking her on his arms without her even flinching. Whatever was going on inside her mind had disconnected her from reality. He left her on the rooftop of a hotel, under one of the open parasols that were open to keep her safe from the rain, and took a few beach towels from the pool cabinet to wrap her around and get her dry. Then he came back for her box and took it to the rooftop to her.

Marinette was in the same position he had left her. The towel she was wrapped in had already soaked by the water of her clothes and the teardrops falling from the pieces of her loose hair.

Her cheeks were flushed and her lips parted and her eyes were quivering with wonder.

"Princesse," He kneeled in front of her, taking her hands between his to blow air to get her warm. "You're going to catch a cold if you don't dry your hair,"

No reaction came from her. She was watching at a death point on the horizon, her eyes never met his, as much as he tried.

The revelation broke her and she was unable to function as a common human being. He was starting to think that she was disappointed. What if Chat Noir wasn't what she was expecting? Well, of course, she was not expecting a superhero, but what if the him that she knew with the mask did not compare to the person she had been idolizing inside her mind. How could he fix that?

He put a towel on her hands, hoping that would make her react.

It didn't.

"I'll do it," He threw the towel on her head and pressed it against her hair, shaking it to get it dry.

 _"Boy?_ " She asked, speaking for the first time.

He smiled at the sound of her familiar voice that now connected to his new revelation it was the sweetest melody, "Darling?" He rose a brow and smiled amusedly.

She was barely coping, a little more of firewood on the bonfire wouldn't hurt.

Her eyes went wide and the light came back to them.

Yes, this was it.

" _Oh mon dieu,_ " Marinette covered her face with her hands and kept repeating the phrase like it was a mantra.

Maybe, just maybe, he had liked it better when she was petrified. Now he was sure that she was disappointed.

"It's so hard to believe?" He asked downhearted.

"No," She shook her head, "Not at all, that's why I am having such a hard time!"  
That didn't make any sense.

She did think he matched, well, himself. So why was it so hard to look at him and smile and just be happy that they found each other?

He had been ecstatic but all the emotion and the fireworks were vanishing away by her behavior.

"I don't get it," She blurted.

He had no idea how to respond, so he didn't.

"I'm clever, and I pay attention to the details," She gasped, "I've met you for so long,"

Did she mean as 'Chat Noir' or as ' _boy'_? Either way, they've met each other for a while.

He finished drying her hair as much as the towel allowed it and began to squeeze the fabric of her cardigan. Marinette jerked away and grabbed him from his wrists.

"Stop,"

"I'm sorry," He said surprised and a little hurt.

"No, no," Marinette shook her head, "I mean, thank you, I'm in shock so thank you but…"

"But?"

"Why aren't _you_ freaking out?" Marinette went up to an octave unfamiliar to her voice. The frustration was illustrated in her tone.

A lightbulb went on inside of Adrien's mind. That was what was bothering her! It had nothing to do with who he was, she was just confused!

"You were my main suspect,"

Marinette's mouth hung open and she blinked fastly. Then a giggle came out of her lips and Adrien's heart stopped and rebooted in less than a second, beating at an inhuman rate.

"You're lying," She said as she shook her head in disbelief, "C'mon, why aren't you freaking out?"

"I'm not lying, Marinette. I've thought and I've wished it was you for a long time now,"

Her laugh died down abruptly and wonder sparkled on her eyes. "I've always been looking for you and when I met you, I kind of just knew. No, wait, I'm not a genius detective either, it wasn't like I met you once and suspect you, it was after we got to know each other,"

"But you barely see me," Marinette whined, "Yeah you pass by sometimes, and we chat and you flirt, and oh my god, do you flirt with me, was that because you knew it was me?"

"Yes and no," He smirked, "You're gorgeous and funny, you can't blame for trying to woo you,"

Marinette rolled her eyes, "You're impossible,"

"You've known that for a while" He wiggled his eyebrows and she slapped his shoulder.

"I can't believe I didn't figure it out!" She grunted with her hands against her mouth, "Now I can't unsee it,"

He grinned from ear to ear.

This wasn't how he planned it was going to go down, in his mind it was more romantic, more dream-like, something out of a movie, and while this was nothing like it, it was still fun and perfect in a unique way.

Marinette shivered and he was reminded of the rain and the cold weather.

"C'mon, I'll take you home. I'm quite sure you already caught a cold but let's not perpetuate this, and we can talk there. Sounds good?"

"Sounds good," She nodded.

Before he could ask or warn her, her arms had wrapped around him, ready to get lifted.

Maybe they didn't need to read each other's mind to know what the other was thinking.

 **xx**

In warmer clothes and with her dry hair, Marinette sat next to him on her divan.

He had been going through the box, that was still a little wet, and watching her memories of him as he waited for her to be ready.

He reached for her and rubbed his hand against the nape of her neck, brushing pieces of her tangled hair away.

"I really hope you don't get sick," He said," But if you do, at least I know now where you live so I can bring you medicine and sweets,"

Without warning, Marinette threw herself at him and hugged him. He lost his balance and fell back on the chair with her, she didn't seem to mind because she didn't move away or complained. He hugged her back just as tight.

"I've missed you so much, is so good to talk to you," She smacked a kiss on his cheek that made him go a bit groggy. Pretty girls should not be allowed to do that without a warning.

Getting back to reality he decided to afront the subject that mattered the most.

"You can't hear me either?" He had already figured it out, but he had no idea how to start the conversation.

"Of course not," She snorted. Yeah, his comment was quite ridiculous, "It's awful," She sighed against his ear, "How does it feel for you?"

"Lonely," He replied. He was trying to keep his head on the conversation. It was important for him to hear, he wanted to hear, but Marinette's proximity was playing sick games on his mind. For the first time, he was thankful that she couldn't hear him.

"I… me too, but what I meant is that," She puffed, "I have no idea how to explain it,"

"We always compared it to a house, so where I am in yours?" He offered help.

Marinette gave him a look that made him worry.

"What do you mean? There is no house, it's just me in an empty room that keeps echoing, you're nowhere to be found, you vanished" Her nose wrinkled when she frowned, "You still have a house?"  
"Yes," He nodded, "It is like you're my neighbor and you put a glass in between our houses, so I can sense you there but not hear you,"

The guilt was creeping in his body. He had acted so mean towards Marinette, thinking that she had been ignoring him and it was him who had completely disappeared.

"Did you… did you thought I was avoiding you?"

He gulped. As much as he wanted, he couldn't lie to her, "Yes,"

"Is that why I haven't seen you around?" She nibbled her lower lip, "You haven't dropped by unannounced in a while,"

"Yes," He nodded again, still as guilty as before, "I really wanted it to be you, Nette, I had no proof but I was so sure so when I couldn't contact you and-" He growled, "- I swear that it feels like you're ignoring me, like at first I really thought you were busy or maybe mad for something I could have thought but the more time it passed I got scared and that made me angry,"

She rested her head on his chest and stayed silent, but she never let go of the hug. Knowing Marinette for a while, he knew this was her way to tell him that he shouldn't worry and that he was forgiven.

He nuzzled his nose against her hair and kissed her temple.

Adrien realized how comfortable they were with each other when she kissed the palm of his hand.

They were affectionate, they always had been but they had never touched each other. Well, Chat Noir and Marinette had, but it had never been this intimate. The connection between them was so strong that they had just jumped to this way of acting around each other, as it was normal, as it had always been like this.

It didn't bother him, but he only felt this comfortable with Ladybug. Because of their jobs, the attacks and the plans they had to bring to life, there was no time to be modest or embarrassed. They were touching each other all the time, and they had grown used to it. But he wasn't like that with his other friends.

It wasn't uncomfortable to be like this with her, but he would have to get accustomed to it and lower down the emotions that bloomed in him by having her skin against his.

"Do you remember when I stopped appearing?"

"Not exactly,"

"I do, I remember it had not been working properly but I wasn't paying much attention,"

He nodded, encouraging her to go on. He had nothing to add, he was not going to be of much help, the only thing he had done was complaining and be sad under a big rain cloud. His emotions had taken the best of him one more time.

"I passed out," Marinette said, "My head had been hurting, pretty badly, and as a consequence, my body shut down. When I woke up you were gone, I swear you were there before, distantly but there,"  
"You think _that_ headache has something to do?" He had thought it too, but he had brushed off the possibility. He couldn't say it out loud because he wasn't supposed to know that she had passed out.

"Yes, but I have no way to prove it was because of a headache or any reason why I had a headache,"

"Basically, we got nothing," He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Hey, hey," She lifted his ching, "Cheer up, kitty. We'll figure it out and we'll get back to normal," Marinette said, squeezing his cheeks, making him purse his lips. She laughed at the sight, "We're both super smart, we won't let this situation win,"

Marinette let go of him and sat down. She hugged her legs close to her chest and sighed.

Adrien sat down too, he hung one leg out of the divan to give her more space and caressed her hair.

"Tired?"

"A little bit, it's been a busy day,"

"The semester is close to being over, this must exhausting for you," He remembered the notebooks and her notes on the café. It was about to be a very stressful couple of months for her. "I better get going so you can sleep,"

"I want to say no, _so bad_ , but my body has other plans," She giggled.

"Then listen to it," He ruffled her hair and stood up, "Time for amazing me to go home too and take a cat nap,"

"I'll have to keep up with your _cat puns_ now? Ugh,"

"See the bright side, my darling, you can come up with cat puns too," He kissed her temple.

Giggling, Marinette stood up and followed him up to the balcony, waving goodbye before he could jump to the rail.

Then her hand dropped down abruptly and her face light up.

"Hey,"

"What?" He rose an amused eyebrow at her.

"The pin,"

"What about it?" He tilted his head, asking for more information.

"Can I have it?" She moved her index fingers together over her mouth and fluttered her eyelashes at him.

He smiled _so_ brightly. "Of course, I bought it for you,"

The pocket of his suit felt heavier than before, unzipping it he took the little pin on his hands and watched it carefully before placing it on Marinette's hands. This was a moment he had been waiting for years and it was finally happening. This would be the first gift he could ever give to her, he had bought so many, for every birthday, anniversary or when he felt like it, and now the addressee was finally taking them as she meant to.

The silvery red and blue of the Czech flag swirled on the heart-shaped pin.

He gave one look at Marinette, studying her reaction. She was shaking and biting her lip, her eyes were filled with tears that were never going to fall.

With closed hands, Marinette held the pin close to her heart, then to her mouth and kissed her knuckles.

Chat reached for her face and cupped her cheek, rubbing his gloved hands against her skin.

"Like it?"

"Love it," She flashed a toothy smile, "And you,"

"I love you too,"

Maybe even more deeply that he had ever thought possible.

"See you around, darling," He said, if he stayed any longer he might do something to ruin their moment.

"See you around, dummy,"

It was only five minutes after jumping out of the balcony, after running around a few rooftops, that he realized that things had not gone as they should have.

Yes, they were perfect in some senses, he had finally found her! but there was something that ruined their encounter and their reveal.

Marinette knew Chat was the boy she had been talking inside her mind, but she _didn't know_ that Chat Noir was Adrien Agreste.

 **xx**

The next day, Marinette was wearing the pin on her denim jacket with so much pride, it was like a medal she had to show off.

Her hands were shaking, actually, her whole body was vibrating, energizing itself by pure joy.

Had the skies ever been so blue? Had the sun ever shone so bright?

Marinette was not walking, she was bouncing and dancing and running, her paced changed and she swirled, sometimes she skipped a few steps giving a big jump. Her happiness couldn't be contained.

After years of wondering and theorizing, missing each other and not being able to find an actual clue about each other, they had finally met.

She was so happy, so excited to begin a new day that she was actually on time for school. Furthermore, she willingly went to visit the class president of the other class, an annoying kid who would always flirt with her instead of focusing on the real discussion and plans they were supposed to organize. She gave him the list with the places she had selected (late at night, when she couldn't sleep because the happiness was acting like an energy drink) and brushed off his attempts to seduce her with nothing more than a tired grin.

Nothing could make this day turn to gray, nothing at all. The joy was her main emotion, and she had been through despair already, when she figured it out, or well when Tikki remained her that she still didn't exactly knew who he was.

But knowing that the boy she had loved her whole life, her best friend in the whole wide world was no one else but her trusted partner was enough. Yes, she still had no idea who he really was, what his name was, but he knew who _she_ was, and she was still going to see him around, they could still hang out and have fun together.

He had vanished and come back, the obstacles would be ignored, what was important is that he was easy to reach and loved her as much as she loved him.

Marinette was living in her own personal bubble of effervescent glee.

So out of the world, she did not hear the blonde boy calling for her, repeatedly, as she walked down the hallway.

She did feel someone wrapping his hand around her upper arm, to which she reacted by reflex. She took his arm and twisted it, pushing it away from her and at the same time making him easy to control. She switched on her toes and moved him with her, making him kneel in front of her.

A screaming Adrien Agreste was in front of her.

She let go of him quickly and put her hands in the air, asking for mercy.

"Oh, I'm so so sorry, Adrien!"

"It's okay, it's okay," He said. One hand on the air, waving it at her, assuring her it was fine, the other hand was against his back and rubbing it, "Woah, I knew you were toned and athletic but, damn, you're strong,"

"Self defense class," She lied.

Adrien bugged his eyebrows and jerked his head, he looked confused. Was it hard to believe that she could be on self-defense classes? Or was the excuse to cliché and he had realized it was a lie.

Whatever it was, she was going to ignore it and keep the lie going.

He stood up and took a big breath before speaking.

"Can we talk?" Adrien asked, fidgeting.

She nodded, this was probably about yesterday's conversation. Marinette made a sign with her head to let him know that he should follow her.

They arrived at a quiet place at the end of the corridor, where no one, especially not Alya or Nino would be able to interrupt them.

"What is it?" She asked when she saw how nervous he was as if he was trying to come up with the perfect words but he didn't know them.

"I'm extremely sorry, Marinette." He blurted, his shoulders dropped and so did his head. He rubbed the skin between his eyebrows and huffed. "I don't know how to do this, I don't want to offend you or hurt you again. I've been a jerk, without any reasonable explanation and I took it all on you, I can't explain why either. At the café, I really was trying to ask for forgiveness and-

"I forgive you." She interrupted. She put a hand over his shoulder, leaning down she found his sight and smiled.

"You _do?"_

"I was in a bad mood and I took it all on you," She made a "pop" sound with her lips, "I still had the right to be angry because your attitude was not the best, but you were doing your best to apologize and I ignored it. It's fine, we're friends,"

"Yeah, we are friends," Adrien said, chocking on the last word. "So, how have you been? You were stressed yesterday,"

"That's old history," She waved her hand, "I'm quite happy today,"

"I must say that you are more smiley than usual," He gave her a warm look.

A few months ago that look would make her turn into a puddle of goo but at that moment, while still having an effect on her, she just felt his adoration and was glad that her friend was happy for her.

"Things are going well again, and someone I love a lot reached out for me, so," She chuckled, covering her mouth with her hand she closed her eyes and shook her body. Pieces of hair fell on top of her forehead, and Adrien brushed them away so she could see.

"Whoever that is, they must be great to make you feel like this,"

"He is, he is the best," She nodded.

"Did he gave you that?" Adrien pointed at the pin, "I had not seen you wear that pin before,"

"You're pretty observant," She quirked her mouth and wiggled her eyebrows.

"You're hard to ignore," An implied _I've tried_ echoed on her ears, and they turned pink just like her face.

Adrien coughed and fixed the collar of his shirt.

"Anyway, I'm glad you're happy, and things are good between us," He rubbed the back of his head, "We should go to class, I just heard the bell,"

"We should, I got early, I can't mess up the last part, can I?" Adrien laughed with her as they walked to their respective classes, but before parting ways, Adrien pulled her to him and circled his arms around her shoulders.

She was surprised by the sudden affection but she hugged him back.

The hug lasted more than a friendly hug should last, but Marinette was not bothered by it, she was confused and wondered what was really going on with him, but he kept quiet.

Hugs were good and there was not good enough reason to ruin this one.

 **xx**


	13. Acceptance

Adrien hoped that Marinette hadn't noticed his stare following her the whole day.

He was usually aware of her but today it had been ridiculous, but it was so hard to ignore her, it was so hard to pretend that she didn't mean the world to him. His existence as he knew it had given a 180-degree twist, was he really supposed to act like everything remained the same? Nothing had!

His suspicions were right, he was ecstatic about it but it was such a shame that he had to hide it.

The day had lasted four years for all he knew.

Marinette had been extremely busy with the party committee and he had looked from a distance how the class president of the other classroom tried his best -and it was a very awful and lame best- to impress Marinette and flirt with her.

He was giving a bite to his apple when the memory of an annoyed, and extremely uncomfortable, Marinette came to his mind. The sound his teeth made against the apple was loud and caught Nino and Alya's attention.

"Everything okay, buddy?" Alya rose a brow and tilted her head.

"It's nothing," He lied.

"Doesn't sound like nothing."

"I don't like that president class kid," He rubbed his forehead. He put his arm against the table and leaned close to his friend, "Aren't you bothered that Marinette has to spend time with him?"

"I know M can handle it," She shrugged, "But I don't like him either. He is obnoxious,"

"Why are you so centered on him?" Nino asked, poking Adrien's cheek with his pencil.

"Marinette acts awkward around him, and I don't meet her normal level of awkwardness. You haven't noticed?"

"Yes and Marinette told me a little about it but we don't have to worry about it or meddle, I offered, she said no that it was her that would take care of it, so, we'll let it pass,"

"I don't want to let it pass," Adrien sighed.

She'd hear her complain about this guy before, he had given advice but it had not been enough, he wanted to do something about it. Knowing Marinette, as much as he did, it was not a good idea to interfere, but he wanted, badly.

In the back of his mind a thought was forming that maybe, just maybe, this was not only about how railed it up it got him to see her uncomfortable, it was also about how he did not like other people flirting with her.

Jealousy was not the most pleasing, or healthy, emotion but it was spreading all over him like a cold bucket of water.

He wanted to be with her, he had approached her and invited her to lunch but Marinette had turned him down, telling him she was going to be busy planning the party and that they could go for ice cream or coffee later on if he was still up for it.

Adrien was and will ever be up for anything if it meant to see her, it was his schedule that he needed to check to confirm the date. He only hoped that Nathalie was still being kind to him and letting him more time to study as she had been doing in the late months.

His father did want him to excel on his _BAC_ and that meant less time at work and more with his nose inside the books. Not that he spent all the new free time studying, but his father didn't have to know that. He had lied about it already when he asked to move out.

Adrien's shoulders went down and he circled his neck, the tension built up on his muscles was making him uncomfortable. He had fixed things with Marinette, he only wished things would be as easy to fix with his father. Sooner or later Gabriel was going to bring up the subject, once he realized what he had asked for and that he had been serious about moving out and live on his own, hell would turn loose.

That problem would reach the bay at any point, that's why now he had to focus on the problem he already had.

 _His identity_.

Could he really tell Marinette who he was? She deserved it, he didn't want to lie and it would make things easier between them. If it was his own personal decision and secret, he would have told her this morning but he wasn't the only one involved in it. Ladybug had a said too, and Ladybug had been perfectly clear about what she thought of the subject, she had said -a thousand if not a million times- that keeping their identities a secret was a priority. He had fought with her about it a couple times, the most recent being when he snapped at her, too tired of being kept in the dark. How was it possible that she knew who Rena Rogue was? Why wasn't that dangerous?

Well, Ladybug had her reasons and they were all logical, Adrien wasn't able to fight them. It was one thing to know the identity of a superhero they called only when they needed the extra help, a superhero that held a miraculous that Papillon did not want, and a "lower-rank" miraculous if he could call them that.

Adrien thought that knowing their identities will help them out, Ladybug thought it would only bring them problems and risks.

So, he couldn't tell Marinette who he was. The first person he had to reveal himself to was Ladybug, and that was not going to happen in a while.

Adrien sighed one more time.

"I think that's the fifth time I hear you sigh, Adrien," Nino said. He changed seats and dropped his body next to him, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and squeezing in a reassuring way. "Your father is giving you hard time?"

"Not yet." Adrien shrugged.

"That's not it," Alya pointed her pen at him then she made a line with it in the air and pointed at Marinette in the distance, "Is our baby boy having love trouble?"

Adrien clicked his tongue.

What to answer? What to answer?

He liked Marinette, he would punch himself in the gut if he dared to say no, there was no excuse he could come up to cover up his feelings for Marinette. He had fallen, hard. But was this really a love problem? Not really, what he wanted was to be able to talk to Marinette whenever and wherever he wanted to without having to transform into his superhero persona to do it. Now that Alya had brought up love to the table he realized that his identity was going to be an obstacle on that department too.

He wanted to date Marinette and if she wanted to date him too, how could he do it? How could he flirt with her? Well, he always flirted with her, but now he wanted to seduce her, he wanted her to fall for him and have a relationship, and that meant that he had two options: to date her as Chat -and as the boy inside her mind- or to date her as Adrien. But what was the right call?

He would be lying no matter what path he chose.

"Maybe," He finally said. While love was part of it, it wasn't all that, right now friendship was the priority.

"Oooooh, juicy," Alya's eyes sparkled like camera flashes. "Who's the lucky girl?"  
"Why must it be a girl?" Adrien's voice lowered a few octaves as he said the words.

Alya and Nino looked at each other. Alya was blinking and her mouth was hanging open, Nino had a tender smile on his lips.

"It is not a girl?" Alya asked softly.

"No, it is, but I just wanted to say that it doesn't have to be,"

"As in general, which I know it's the case, or as in for you," Nino asked just as soft.

"Both," Adrien pursed his lips.

He had not talked about it in a long time but he had been thinking about bringing it up with Isabel at some point but right now at this moment it just felt right to say it, he had the opportunity so why not take it?

"Okay, we'll keep it in mind," Alya reached for his hand and squeezed, "But can you tell us a little about it?"

"Don't push him," Nino warned his girlfriend.

Alya opened her mouth again, her brows rose, " _You know,_ "

"I'm his best friend, of course I know,"  
"What do you know?" Marinette asked and she sat beside Alya, putting on the middle of the table a beige box.

"What' that?" Alya pointed.

"I brought pieces of cake for the committee for a tasting and these are the leftovers, though you would like them,"  
"Oh, we adore them," Nino opened the box and took one of the plastic forks Marinette was holding.

"How did that go?" Adrien asked, taking one fork too.

"Good, we are finally going somewhere! We called to rent the place so at least that's done," Marinette cupped her cheek and pressed her elbow against the table, "I had this really cute café in mind but the other presidents liked the club more, it's not ugly but-

"Not your 'aesthetic'," Adrien smirked, he knew her well enough to take that conclusion.

"Yeah, it's pretty but it looks like any other club on there. I did convince them to get the karaoke machine though,"

"Yes!" The three friends said at the unison making Marinette laugh.

Marinette carried on the conversation as they ate the cake and laughed with her. Adrien wanted to bring up the class president that had been bothering her but the time never came and he wasn't going to speak about it out of the blue, he did not want her to feel uncomfortable. And there was the chance that she would tell him if she was really annoyed by him if he went tonight as Chat and asked.

"Have you realized Papillon has been strangely quiet these past weeks?" Alya asked. She was holding her phone and scrolling down as she drank from the straw of her boxed apple juice.  
"Yes," Marinette nodded, "It's a bit scary, isn't it? As if he was planning something big,"

"Maybe he is just tired," Nino said, "Dude hasn't taken a break in like four years if I was him I would have been bored of being defeated a while ago,"

"Could be, but I agree with Nette, it's unsettling," And that's why Ladybug and he were going to meet tomorrow, to talk about the current situation that was driving them crazy. "He hasn't given up, why would he choose now to do it?"

"Maybe something changed," Nino shrugged, "Can we change the subject? I feel like we always talk about this, we should enjoy our peace and quiet and talk about more exciting things, like these cakes, they're wonderful Marinette, I'm going to hug your father once I see him,"

Marinette giggled, "I'll let him know. By the way," She shifted on her seat and leaned towards Adrien, "My dad wants to see you, Adrien, he has been wondering when you're going to help him with the frosting again,"

"He was serious?" Adrien's whole body light up.

"Of course he was, you have talent, boy," Marinette pointed a finger at him and then winked.

He felt like his body lost all that tied it together and melted right on the spot.

She was just _so_ cute.

"I'm free over the weekend, tell him to save a few cupcakes for me to decor and I'll pass by,"  
"Got it," She swirled her finger this time, "You'll have to steal one for me, alright?"

"Anything for you," Just like that morning, he couldn't stop himself.

Marinette's cheeks stained in the same color of her lipstick and she looked down. She recovered quickly, he had never before seen her joke so fast to brush the awkwardness away, but she had and he was grateful for it.

He hoped it didn't mean anything bad.

 **xx**

Marinette was having trouble being still. She was on top of a rooftop, transformed and waiting for Chat Noir to appear and every second of the waiting was keeping her anxiety afloat.

What was she going to do?

She had been debating it non stop. There were many reasons why revealing her identity would turn beneficial but the risk that implied, it was too big. She couldn't take such an important step, she couldn't put their lives in danger just because she wanted to see him more. It was selfish and she wasn't allowed to be selfish.

Oh, but how she wanted to.

She had always wanted to spend more time with Chat and now she had the chance, it was not only incredibly convenient that her partner was her mind-best friend it was a total dream come true. She couldn't wish for anyone better, there was no boy like him.

Not even Adrien.

Marinette groaned and muffled the sound with her hands.

The blonde model with heart of gold still made her heart do some crazy pirouettes and she still blushed around him but she had come to the conclusion that all these little crushes meant that she wasn't in love with him anymore, and discovering that the two boys she had a crush on were the same person, how could she deny that her feelings had chosen a different path to the one she was so fixated.

"Ugh," Marinette dropped to the floor and sat with her legs crossed.

The evening breeze blew her hair away from her face and her ponytail bobbed. Today's weather had been stable and now that the sun was hiding a few clouds had started to appear, there was no chance of rain but the clouds gave the sky a different tint between all the orange and the pink. Paris' skyline was fading from grey to yellows and whites of the lights of the buildings and Marinette wondered for the sixth time that day if Papillon was about to throw a surprise attack.

The sound of boots against tiles made her turn around and she welcomed her partner with the brightest smile she was able to pull.

"Hello, kitty cat,"

"Good evening, my lady," He crossed his legs and sat right beside her.

Ladybug offered her hand and he took it, lifting it to his mouth and giving a kiss to her knuckles.

"How are you doing on this wonderful evening, spots?"

"Quite well actually," She answered trying to keep her nervous giggles down. Seeing him after the reveal was doing crazy things on her.

Had he always been this handsome? Yes, he was. He had a sharp jaw and a soft but confident stare, his lips were full and the smirk that was drawn on them -almost all the time- was the most attractive thing she had ever seen.

The memory of the night of her birthday was a little blurry and dizzy but she did remember trying to kiss him, she remembered how close she had been of that beautiful smile. Her whole body tingled at the memory, now more than ever she wanted to be all over him.

Shameful, shameful thoughts. She had no idea if he liked her that way too, she couldn't assume. Marinette deduced that he had to like her romantically to some extent or they wouldn't have "touched" each other like they did those months ago.

Her romantic feelings were not new, but accepting them was just a recent development, maybe he was going through the same, or maybe it was the opposite, now that Chat knew that his _darling_ was also his _princess_ had made him change his mind.

Fingers snapped in front of her face and she flinched away.

"I'm sorry, bug but you're spacing out."

"Oh, yeah it's fine," She fixed pieces of her hair, pushing them away from her forehead. The wind was messing it all up and she wanted to look pretty.

"This Papillon silence is really bothering you, right?" He asked. He put his hands on top of her shoulders and massaged, "Woah, you're so tense,"

"I have a lot going on," She said under her breath. His touch wasn't soft, but it made her heart flutter. "But…. do you think he is gone?"

"No, I think he is taking a break. Do _you_ think he is gone?"

"No," She shook her head. "He is not one to give up so easily,"

"Oh, do we know that,"

"Exactly!" She put her hands up. "I just don't get what is he trying to do. It's been two weeks and a half without any akumas, that's not his style. He has been absent before but never this long,"

"It's odd. I'm on the edge of my seat the whole day, waiting for him to attack us with something huge,"

"Me too, it's awful,"

"Indeed. I'm trying to focus on my BAC study or my job or anything else but he is always bugging my mind,"

"I can't believe he is a problem even when he is not around."

"That's the hero life," Chat Noir giggled, "How do we approach this?"  
"I have no idea. I've been analyzing the situation but I can't come up with a plan, the only thing we can do is to wait. Unless you have an idea,"

"Nothing, my lady," His lips pursed. He looked cute. "We're useless,"

"It's school, we shouldn't be still hunting him down, we should be worrying about not having enough time to study and party. This is unfair,"

"Completely," The cat superhero yawned and tilted his head, resting it on her shoulder. "How are you doing in school? Everything cool?"

"As cool as it can be. I'm not failing anything, my grades are quite good and the extra programmatic activities have not killed me yet. I call it a success." She shrugged. She was careful to not say anything that could hint clues towards her civilian identity. "What about you, minou? Tell me how is your life going, and not in school because I know you're doing great, tell me something interesting," _Tell me about me._

"I've been spending more time with my friends, which is good, and I…" He looked down, a secret was hidden on his eyes and his cheeks turned bright pink.

"You?" Marinette encouraged.

"We're friends, aren't we?"

"Do you really have to ask me that? She pulled an incredulous smile.

"I ask it because I've confessed my love to you before and… I don't see you like that anymore, I still think you're one of the best people out there, but I…

"Matured," She completed, but a knot had formed on her throat. Chat Noir had never said it out loud, she had figured it out on her own that his crush was in the past, it still hurt to listen to it.

"Yeah! You're my best friend, I love you with all my heart and I would do anything for you, but it's not romantic anymore,"

"Clearly," She cleared her throat, "Where is this going?"

"I think I'm in love, Ladybug,"

She choked on her own breathe and started coughing. Chat pressed a hand between her scapulae and patted and rubbed her back.

"You're in love?!" She chirped.

"I think I am," He said and hushed her, "I've liked her for some time but our relationship gave a twist and I think this is more than just a silly crush, I think it could be love,"

Marinette's limbs felt heavy.

She wanted to know more but couldn't keep asking. If he wasn't referring to her, it would break her heart and she would cry right there and she didn't have an excuse if that happened! And if it was her she would turn scarlet and she didn't have an excuse for that either!

She did the best next thing. She put her hand on a fist and punched his shoulder.

"That's so great! Love is great and you're great, this is so great, go for it, it'll go great!"

"Yes, _great,_ " He laughed. "I can't just go for it,"

"Why not?" She laughed, she sounded like a maniac so she stopped, keeping a toothy smile to fake a cool-vibe.

Chat Noir hesitated first, but then he explained "She knows me in costume," A disappointed sigh came along.

"Who cares? Just go for it, I give you permission, she'll love you," Ladybug didn't realize she had interrupted him. She patted his back and kept on the silly laugh. "I'm so happy you're in love,"  
"Really? Because your behavior is scary. And I'm _not_ in love, I _think_ I am,"

She huffed, and waved her hand at him, dismissing his words, "Same difference. And I'm not acting weird I just… love is not my thing so it makes me all weird,"

"I thought you liked someone,"

"Yeah and I'm a mess." She blinked fastly and let out the air she was holding. "Listen I'm the worse when it comes to relationship advice and I don't want to ruin it for you, so do whatever you think is correct and let her guide you, I guess?"

"That sounds very cliché, not very you,"

" _See?_ The worse." She grinned.

Chat Noir's hands cupped her face and turned it to him. His tender green eyes caught hers and he leaned down, pressing his lips against her cheek for a few seconds.

"You're the best, my lady. I would stay longer but if I don't go now I won't be able to see her, and I really want to. Do you mind?" He tilted his head and gave one of those kitty-looks that she had never been able to resist.

"Go make your move prince charming," She giggled. At least she was able to pull a joke.

"Thank you, bug," Chat kissed her cheek again, "See you in two days?"

"Sure," Ladybug nodded, "Good luck!"

Ladybug stood on the rooftop watching him disappear in the distance. He was jumping and swirling in the air, he was more carefree and energetic than any other day that month.

Now it made sense how downsized he had been acting, and seeing him so happy now that she was back into his life made her heart burst like a firework. She was the reason why he was feeling happy. Her cheeks felt warm, she covered her face with her hands and gushed gibberish as she jumped on her place.

He was talking about her! No doubt!

Twirling on her heels she let out an enamored laugh and threw her yo-yo to the farthest pipes she could reach.

It was time to go home and see him once again.


	14. Being In Love

Miraculously, Marinette made it on time.

She got inside her room, de-transformed, left cookies for Tikki and sat on her desk as she fixed her hair on a fishtail braid, five minutes before three knocks were heard on the trap door that connected her room to the balcony.

Marinette bit her lip, repriming the anxious scream that threatened to come out.

She stood up and ran to open up, looking at the mirror on her way up, she fixed the bangs of her hair and she pinched her lips and cheeks a bit, hoping that would give make the blood rush and give her a soft pink color.

Taking a deep breath before opening, Marinette got ready to face her best friend.

"Hi there," She said before her voice failed her and decided to stop working.

"Evening, princess," He bowed and reached for her hand, lifting it to his lips and placing a kiss on top.

Such a familiar behavior from Chat, and yet, it made her hold her breath. Marinette had never felt nervous around him, not like this at least, this was a whole new emotion.

"Are you busy? I had no idea how to warn you I was coming, so I just dropped,"

"You never tell me when you're coming,"

"I usually don't come two days in a row," He tilted his head and leaned nearer.

"I guess," Marinette say between clenched teeth, her heart beating at light speed. "Were you on patrol? You usually finish up later,"  
"Yes, we cut it short," Chat Noir nodded. "Papillon seems to be taking a break, so Spots and I deserve a break too,"

"Breaks are good," Marinette grinned. Chat Noir narrowed his eyes and studied her face for an eternal second.

"It looks like you could use a break too,"

"What? What do you mean?" Marinette asked.

Chat didn't answer. He wrapped his arm around Marinette's waist and pulled her body to him, then he lifted her from the ground and took her on his arms.

"Don't scream, okay?"

Marinette nodded and tightened her hold, adjusting her arms and wrapping them around his chest instead of his neck. She rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes.

She was unsure of why he had asked her not to scream, he had carried her on his arms many times in the past years, she knew the deal by now.

And then she knew.

Usually, when he carried her he was as careful as he could be, more careful than he ever was with Ladybug, for obvious reasons, but tonight he was up to play.

Chat Noir jumped so high, Marinette felt her stomach levitate and reach her throat, her world turned upside down because so did her body. The superhero had swirled in the air and then made a pirouette before landing on the rooftop in front of them.

"Why would you do that?!" She said, digging her nails on his suit, trying to reach the skin and hurt him a little, he deserved it.

"And here I was about to congratulate you for not screaming," He grinned. "That's my new trick, princess,"

She growled and hit his chest with her fist since her nails were doing anything. The custom was too strong.

"I know you are a showoff but did you really have to do it with me on your arms?"

"Hey, you got to experience what is like to be a superhero, wasn't it awesome?"

 _I already know how that feels_.

"If you do that again I'm not talking to you in a week,"

"No," He whined and nuzzled her cheek against hers, "Please, no, I won't survive,"

And neither would she, but he did not have to know.

"Well, then you're warned," Marinette pouted.

"I'll keep it in mind," He pressed a kiss on her cheek, and it took all of her to not melt right there at that moment.

This feeling was so new but it felt so right like she had always meant to fall in love with him.

Marinette bit her lip. Fall in love? This was exactly what it felt, but she had just accepted that she liked him, getting used to the idea that she might be in love with him did strange things inside her mind and body.

Chat did tell her, well, Ladybug that he thought he was in love. He did not confirm it, he just had a hunch, and this could be what was happening to her too.

"Darling?"  
"Yes?" She perked up at his call, he was closer than he had been before.

"Where do you want to go?"

"I don't mind," But then a thought came to her mind, "Not the Eiffel Tower,"

Chat rose a brow, "I don't remember you being afraid of heights,"

"I'm not, but…"  
"I get it," He said softly, "Let's go somewhere safer instead, but just as cool,"

 **xx**

The reason why Marinette had rejected the Eiffel Tower before Chat Noir proposed it had nothing to do with heights. She was not afraid of height, it would not be convenient if she was. Untransformed it wasn't the same experience either but she trusted him enough to not feel nervous on top of it. Who she did not trust was herself, if they were together on the Eiffel Tower, Marinette feared she slipped up and say something she should not have and reveal her identity.

It was easy to forget what time it was or where she should be when she was with him, so she would easily forget who she was supposed to be in that moment too.

She did not have to worry about it now because Chat Noir took her to the _Arc de Triomphe_.

It was already closed for tourism so they had it all to themselves. She had been on top of it before, as civilian more times than as a superhero, which was a rare occurrence when it came to the monuments in the city. They landed in the middle of it, on the tallest part, offering the best view of their surroundings.

The roundabout was filled with cars, the light spots lights faded in the green leaves of the trees and at the distance the lights of _Champs Élysées_ were glitzing and the stores closing.

Marinette took in the peaceful view and inhaled deeply, the sweet smell of summer was leaking through the breeze. She had not felt this peaceful in a while. Papillon could choose any moment to attack, but she had the feeling that he was not going to choose tonight to make his great comeback.

She couldn't guess what he wanted to do next, so she kept her mouth shut and let him lead her.

Chat wrapped his arms around her waist and sat her on his lap, then he rested his head on the curve of her neck. He did not look at her, his eyes were glued in the horizon, and if it wasn't for the constant caresses of his thumb against her waist she would have thought he was ignoring her. He could never, he was so needy of physical affection.

She used to make fun of that and he would always brush it off with a joke. Knowing why he was like that made her feel guilty for all those times she had pushed away his demonstrations of love.

Overwhelmed with joy and tired of resisting, Marinette pressed her lips against his cheek and kiss it three times.

"Muah!" She said, trying to be playful.

Chat's whole face stained in the reddest red she had ever seen, his lips quivered and her pupils dilated.

"Uh… not that I did not like that," He said, his voice hoarse. "But what was all that about?"

"I just felt like it," She shrugged, "Bisous for mon minou,"

"I like the sound of that," He closed his eyes and hugged her tightly.

Marinette watched him carefully, taking it every feature of him. He had been right beside her this whole time but she never paid as much attention to him as she was doing now.

She spent endless nights trying to draw a portrait of him using the few descriptions he was able to give her and none of them looked like him, now that he was here and she could look at him, her drawings would finally do him justice.

It would be better if she could see him behind the mask, but you could not get all you wanted in this life.

One day, she thought, one day will be together without any secrets between us. For now, she'll just have to act like two separate people, no matter how hard that was.

Marinette rubbed her cheek against his blonde hair and sniffled the cherry smell of his shampoo and the scent of his cologne. She would remember that too, everything about him was absolutely perfect.

Being so close to him made her heart felt like an atomic bomb about to explode but she wasn't the one bouncing anxiously.

She opened one eye and glimpsed at her side. Chat Noir would not stop moving, his eyes were drowned in worry and he was biting his lip so hard that Marinette was afraid it was going to bleed.

She knew that expression, he wanted to say something.

Letting out an extended sigh she turned her body to him. If he couldn't do it by himself, it was time to push things a little.

"You're fidgeting," Marinette pointed out and closed her hands on top of his, "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing,"

"Mm, I don't believe you," _Tell me you like me_. Marinette wrinkled her nose and leaned closer, "You can tell me anything, I'm used to knowing all your dirty secrets,"

"I know," He chuckled.

"And I love you," She whispered, "I won't judge you,"

"I love you too," He said and a shadow crossed his face.

 _Great, now tell me you like me so I can tell you that I like you too!_ "So, what is it?"

"Is… you know…"  
"Yes?" Marinette leaned closer, eyes wide open and expectant.

"My father is kind of a jerk," He said nodding. Insecurity shone on his eyes but was quickly replaced with joy. It threw Marinette off.

"Your father? Is he giving you trouble?"

"Not now, but I've been asking him for something and I… I wanna live on my own,"

That was a thought she did not remember hearing, but it made so much sense. Putting all the information she knew about him from his thoughts, and all that she knew about Chat Noir, it was not a surprise that he didn't want to live under his father's roof anymore. It was no secret that they didn't share the best relationship.

"Oh, okay," She said. It was not the right time to ask about him.

"And I've been asking him for a while but he did not take it seriously, but I think he is starting to see that I'm actually asking for it, and I don't want to be in trouble but I want to speed up the process because I saw an apartment and I think is perfect for me."

"Perfect for you? How is that?" She gifted him a sided smile, the phrase had piqued her curiosity. Chat was rich and only four years ago he had started socializing with people outside his gold luxury bubble, so what did perfect mean for him?

For her, a little apartment with a nice cozy bedroom, enough living room space to work and a decent sized kitchen and bathroom would be top notch, and if it had a great view then it was beyond amazing. But she imagined her standards were a little more realistic than his.

"It has two rooms, a spacious living room, the bathroom is great -it has a bathtub! I love bathtubs- the kitchen is small but I barely know how to use an oven so it's perfect for me. The apartment is close to a métro which is always convenient and it's on the last floor of the building, close to one of the wall pipes, and that's perfect for a superhero, easy in and out access, with a wall to provide shadows where to hide,"

The apartment sounded great and it was cute that he took into consideration his superhero duties, especially since these days they had been jobless.

"Sounds amazing, a bit pricey though,"

"I have enough money saved to pay for it, and the rent after that. As tiring as my job can be, it's a good source of income and I'll keep doing until I can get another job that I like more,"

"I almost forgot you have a stable job that pays well," She said, scratching behind his ears. "Do you think that will help you convince your father? I mean you have the money to do it and legally you are an adult, it doesn't sound like a pipe dream to me,"

"Nothing convinces my father, not ever, that's why I'm afraid of having the real talk because he'll come up with an argument that can destroy all of mine. I bet he'll use my mental health,"

"That would be a low blow," She whispered.

Were all rich parents jerks? Was that like a rule they had to follow to keep their money?

"If it makes me stay, he won't mind,"

Marinette hissed, "If he does you let me know and I'll punch him on the face,"

He smiled but something that she couldn't place told her that it was not as genuine as it could have been.

"I think Isabel wants to punch him too, so I'll give you her number and you can coordinate the attack with her,"

"Your therapist, right?" He nodded, "I already like her. Uh, so talking about her, how is that going?"

"Slow," Chat sighed, "But it helps a lot, she is great. I know I pay her to listen to me, but it's the first time that I feel like someone listens, all those others tried but it always seemed as if they were trying to cure me to please my father, not Isabel,"

"I'm glad," Marinette cupped his cheek and rubbed her thumb against it. "And I know I'm not a therapist and I can't help you as one could, but I'm always to here to listen,"

"Thank you, princess,"

They stayed in silence after that, listening to the sound of the city and the beating of their hearts.

Marinette remembered a conversation she had with her mother some time ago, about love and how it changed as you grew older or when it was right. When you're young, her mother said, every interaction -or lack of it- feels like a rush in your system, you're awkward and inexperienced, you're actions are over the top and you have inaccurate knowledge about how relationships work. You mature and you start to see love for what it is and while you can still act a little crazy because love just does that to you, you're more grounded and your actions reflect that, however, you still feel butterflies in your stomach and you're afraid of giving the wrong step and you gush all the time about the person of your interest. But, love, real love, is not only that, love is more than _feeling in love_. When you actually love someone, there's more than just fast hear beats and overwhelming encounters, when you love someone you feel at ease, you feel like you don't have to try hard to impress the other person because being yourself is enough, and you could do absolutely nothing but share the same space than the person you love and that would be the best way to spend your time.

Right at that moment, Marinette understood what her mother meant because she was feeling it. She was in love with him.

And the realization did not crush her or hit her, it felt like her own mind was calling her dumb for not realizing it sooner.

A giggle escaped from her mouth, making Chat open his eyes.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," She whispered and watched him with tender eyes.

"Alright. I think is time to get you back home," He said, intertwining his fingers with hers. "Tomorrow is a school day and you are busy lately so you need all the sleep you can get,"

"But I was having fun," She pouted.

"We can have more fun tomorrow," He said poking her lips with the tips of her claws.

Marinette waited for him to say something else. To do what she was expecting him to do since he appeared on her room.

His jaw was tense and his eyes were lost kilometers away from her. Whatever was crossing through his mind now had kicked out his feelings out of his list of priorities.

He was not going to confess tonight.

It made her sad but she understood.

How many times did she plan to confess her love to Adrien? Uncountable times and she never made it, the words never left her mouth. She could wait for him, there was no rush, they would be together forever, as friends or as lovers. Whenever he was ready to say it, she was going to be ready to accept his feelings.

He was not ready now, but once he was, it was going to be perfect.

 **xx**

Adrien's breakfast consisted of a bowl of fruit, strawberry milk, two scones and jam, Nutella and butter to put on top.

It was an odd occurrence to see so many of his favorite things all together, so it was a pretty obvious deduction to know that his father wanted to speak with him.

He started eating immediately before his father entered the room and took away all his appetite.

Adrien scrolled through his phone, reading today's news and messages that he had not seen yet. Nino was asking him if he was free next Thursday, Alya was asking to tell Nino that he was busy that Thursday, and he had no texts from Marinette.

He pouted and opened the chat screen, reading the last bubbles of conversation. It was a mundane chit-chat about the new video game that was about to come out. The conversation had taken place three weeks ago.

Adrien smashed his hand against his face. They were good now, Adrien and Marinette (because talking about Chat Noir and Marinette was a whole different thing now), they were speaking, they made jokes and he was flirting with her, but he really had been a jerk and those messages proved it.

He scrolled down, trying to come up with a good conversation topic because if he went with what was inside his mind now he would end up revealing his identity. He just really wanted to tell her that he loved her, that he missed her, that he wanted to see her.

Yesterday had been a missed opportunity, he had been so close to confessing his feelings, and then he retracted, afraid of what she could say. Ladybug had been so confident, she really believed he could pull this off, but Adrien had only confessed once and he failed. It could happen again and this time the consequences were bigger.

He closed the app and turned his phone around so he wouldn't look at the screen. If he came up with a good idea he would talk to her, and if he did not he was still going to see her at school.

Adrien ate his breakfast at a slow pace, as sure as he was that his father was going to speak to him, he had no doubt that he would appear at the last minute. Nathalie knew his scheduled but his father never did.

He was biting on his scone when the door of the dining room opened and the tall and rigid figure of his father, dressed in all white as he accustomed to, crossed the door and walked towards him. His expression was cold and his brows were furrowed. The brick had finally landed and had hit him hard, Adrien was about to face the consequences.

"Good morning, father," He said, cleaning his mouth with the cloth napkin.

"Good morning, son, may I have a few minutes with you?"

"I got around five," Probably ten but if they were going to fight then he did not need that much time.

"Great," Gabriel nodded, "I was thinking about what you asked me a few days back,"

"About me moving?" He poked the needle.  
"Yes," His father answered between clenched teeth, "Why would you have such an outrageous idea? I think you have everything you need, and more, here in the mansion, and you're in no conditions to live on your own,"

"I consider it a splendid idea. I'm eighteen, I have my money and a little bit of independence wouldn't hurt me. Now, I don't know what you mean about my conditions," Actually, he knew exactly what he meant, but he wanted to hear him say it.

"Those are not valid reasons," His father said, "And I don't need to remind you that you're taking medication and attending to therapy,"

"People with mental illness live alone too, father. Isabel is great and we are doing real progress, and I consider moving a way of improving, a way to grow, I think it would be great for me. It doesn't mean you won't see me again, just that I want to have my little space,"

"You have your space here, your room,"

"I want to do things on my own, father," Adrien said, standing up from his seat, "And I can do it, you can't force me to stay, but I rather leave with your approval than fight with you and leave with a bad taste on my mouth,"

"Adrien,"

"Now if you excuse me, I have classes,"

Adrien left the room without looking back and with a mental representation of himself screaming and running in circles.

From what freaking part of him had that confidence come from? He had never faced his father that way, and he had done it so naturally. He would have to locate it so he could use it later to tell Marinette his feelings.

The happiness that came with standing up for himself was effervescent and made him bounce on his way to the car, he was probably beaming when he made it inside of the car. And his day was only about to get better because he was going to see Marinette.

On his way to school, he messaged Nino a few memes he had seen the night before and let him know that he was not free the next Thursday -he actually was, but if he went against Alya's wishes he would end up regretting it- then, realizing how silent the trip had been, he freaked out and started looking for Plagg, he could not have left him behind, that would never happen. But he had been so out of himself after the talk with his father that he at least had to consider it.

Luckily, he was inside of his bag, sleeping and nestled between his fencing attire. He did not wake him up, with Papillon missing, his little kwami deserved a break too, also, he would not bother him once he approached Marinette.

The car parked outside the school, impatiently, Adrien jumped out of his seat into the sidewalk. He waved at the Gorilla and closed the door. He started running with such enthusiasms that he caught the attention of a big group of students, yet he didn't mind.

 _Marinette, Marinette, Marinette._

His mind had only her inside. He thanked the party committee for their early meetings, if it wasn't for those, Marinette would run into class at the sound of the bell and he would not have less time with her in the mornings.

Adrien made it up the stairs, smiling at everyone that crossed his path, but the smile was erased when the scene in front of him slapped it away.

Mister class president, whatever his name was because he was just as insignificant for Adrien to remember -and yes he felt wrong about that, but not right now- had his hand pressed to the wall and was leaning towards Marinette. He displayed a smug smile and hungry eyes, while the petite girl looked back with deathly and tired eyes, her body stiff like a board and her hands were on fists. It looked like she was trying to say something but she ended up putting on a fake smile.

This was it, the last straw.

Jealousy took over him, his blood pumped faster and his heartbeat ran on his ears. He adopted the same attitude as Marinette and walked towards them.

The class representatives did not notice him standing in front of them until Adrien extended his arm in between them. He took a step forward as Marinette flinched away at his sudden move. His body became a shield for her.

"Back off," Adrien said. A muscle on his jaw popped and a growling sound formed on the back of his throat, but it was too low to cause any commotion.

"Adrien, you scared us! What's wrong?" The boy put on an idle smile.

"You," He answered, tilting his head forward. Adrien scanned him from head to toe and frowned. "You're making her uncomfortable,"

"What? No sense, Maribear and I are just talking,"

"No you were not and you can't call her Maribear, only Nino does that," He really disliked this guy now.

"It's just a nickname," No it wasn't and he was lucky that he was not using one of Adrien's.

Adrien felt Marinette's hands on his shoulders, he turned his body to the left to be able to look at her.

They shared a meaningful look for a few seconds where Marinette asked him to stop. She looked angry, and she had reason to be, he was acting like a total idiot.

Adrien gasped, he rubbed his face with his hands and released the tension on his shoulders. Putting on a fake smile, as fake as the one the other guy was pulling, he started talking.

"Alright, I'm sorry for coming up like that, but Nette is my friend and I can see that she is not comfortable around you. So, talk to her about the party, and graduation or any other thing you guys are planning, but stop flirting with her when she obviously doesn't like it. You have eyes, you can see she is tense and she has not rejected you directly but all around her there's a big neon sign with a "NO" on it, so take a hint," Adrien poked his chest and turned back, to face Marinette.

"And you," He whispered as he took her hand and pulled her away, "I know you can stand up for yourself so please do it next time,"

"It was nothing that I couldn't handle," Marinette pouted.

"Then why weren't you?"  
"We have less than a month of classes, I won't see him anymore and I didn't want to cause any problems with the committee,"

"I'm sorry," Adrien apologized. His rage had died down and listened to her reasons he realized that his decision to meddle had been the worst choice. "You're right, I put you in trouble, you clearly hadn't said something for a reason," He growled and grabbed his bangs, "I'm sorry. How stupid,"

"Adrien is fine," She assured him, putting his hands on his shoulders and searching for his sight, "I appreciate it, really"

"You can tell me you're mad,"

"I was but the reasons disappeared pretty quickly. You were looking out for me, and it was kind of cute to see you like that," Marinette giggled.

She gave a little jump and hung herself from his arm, that made Adrien's heart skip a beat. Oh, what a glorious morning.

"Well, thanks," He rubbed the back of his head and giggled, "But I really am sorry, Alya told me not to interfere and I did it anyway."

"It's no biggie, Adrien, you did it because you care about me and I did felt more uncomfortable than normal. He will back off for a while and he won't hold it against me, so it's a win-win situation,"

Adrien giggled and ruffled her hair. Marinette whined and tried to do the same but he was too tall and dodged in the right moments.

"So," Adrien cleared his throat, "Was he a bad flirt?"

"I've seen worse," Marinette shrugged, "I used to think flirting with puns was horrible, but it grew on me, still bad but at least you laugh. Simon thinks he is smooth and seductive and it's cringy to hear"  
"Oh yeah?" Adrien laughed, "I like your taste, dar- damn, cool,"

"Alright?"

"Yeah, puns and teasing are the routes to a lady's heart," Adrien nodded, keeping it cool after the almost spill. "So, this, you said Simon, right?" Marinette nodded, "Simon, he is not your type at all?"

Marinette looked back up her shoulder, "He is blonde so he is _kind of_ my type, but that would be it. Also, I like someone else," _He likes blonde guys!_ Adrien thought excited.

"Ah," Adrien said and then he processed the rest of the information. " _Ah?!_ "

"Why do you sound surprised?"

"We… we never talk about this things," He giggled nervously.

"Uh, I guess," Marinette furrowed her brows, "Should we?"

"Why not?" Adrien shrugged and put his hands up.

"Okay?" Marinette watched him do his crazy hand motions with an amused smile on her face, "Do _you_ like someone?"  
"Yeah, but we were talking about you," Adrien said back, "Is he from school?"

"No,"

Adrien felt his heart crash. All his chances, hopes, and dreams destroyed by one simple word.

"We've known each other forever though," Marinette continued, and held her bag closer to her as if she was trying to hug it.

"What's his name?" He said, trying to hide the shadow on his voice.

Marinette hesitated. "That's a secret. If I get him to date me, I'll tell you,"

"Then I'll be knowing of him soon," Adrien said, "I don't think any guy could resist your charm, Nette,"

A smile curled on her lips. Months ago that phrase would have hurt deep in her core, today it made her laugh. The irony of the situation was too much.

"I think he likes me too," Marinette whispered. She held the folder close to her face, probably hiding her blushing cheeks, but he still could see the redness around her eyes and forehead.

"You think so?" Adrien looked down and bit his tongue. If she was happy that was enough.

"Yes," Marinette said dreamingly.

She caught his wrist and pulled him to her side, she stepped on the points of her toes and pressed a hand against his cheek, leaning up to reach his ear and whisper.

"If I tell you, promise you won't tell Alya,"

"Promise," He nodded, heart breaking piece by piece.

"I think I'm in love with him," A dagger piercing through his chest.

"That's awesome, Nette," He lied, that wasn't awesome, that hurt like nothing ever before.

"It is," Marinette nodded and came back to touch the floor, looking up to him. She pulled the pink bag back to her front and opened it, taking something from inside but hiding it inside her hand. "But I can't talk to him as much as we used to, it sucks,"

Adrien hummed in response. Dark clouds were blurring his mind.

"I miss him, and I saw him just yesterday," She sighed, "I've been holding and staring at this the whole morning because I can't stop thinking about him,"

Adrien shifted his vision to pay attention to Marinette and what she was showing him when he focused on the pin, his heart started beating one more time.

"That… that pin, you were wearing it the other day," Adrien gulped, "The guy who gave it to you… you are in love with _him?_ "

"Uhu," Marinette blushed and hid her face on her hands, still holding the pin on them.

His heart had been breaking and falling but after that, it completely burst, but it was like a phoenix, it succumbed to the fire only to be reborn.

He was an idiot! A stupid, useless idiot! He would have to fire his brain, he had been on the edge of tears and Marinette had been talking about him the whole time!

The bell ran before Adrien could mess up and kiss her right there, but this was not the end of it. He just had to wait for the classes to be over and the night to arrive, and then he could do what he had been too afraid to do last night.

Tonight he was going to tell Marinette that he loved her.


	15. Together

When Adrien was fourteen years old he confessed his love to his dearest superhero partner, things had not gone well.

She had rejected his advances, but at the time he thought it could be because of her sense of duty. Ladybug would flirt back at him, she was sweet and nice and he knew so little about her personal life back then that trying to ask her out on a date was not such a crazy idea.

With his heart on display and a rose on his hand, he declared his love under the moonlight only for his heart to be broken but for the greater good, and the love he had for his partner and best friend, he moved on -it took some time, he did some awful things that he regretted, but he moved on at the very end- and they still remained as close as they had always been.

That event in his past could help him out, but it did not.

The situation was different now, there was no incertitude about the feelings of his love, he was sure Marinette liked him, Adrien heard it from the first source, herself. That should bring him confidence, but it did not, it only made his stomach twist in knots and the thought of being mistaken and ruin their relationship -even if it was completely absurd to think like that- bounce around his mind and echo on the deepest and darkest part of his brain.

He was lucky that she was out of his mind at those moments, or the white noise he would produce would cause both of them a migraine.

If he was objective, the chance of his feelings getting rejected did not exist, what had high stakes to happen was Marinette rejecting a relationship with him because of who he was. Dating a superhero was not easy, you did not have to be an expert to know that, it was pretty logical.

Adrien pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Life had never been easy but now it was just tangling it more, like threads of yarn left under a bed, ready for a cat to attack and play with them. However, he still wanted to give the next step and tell Marinette he loved her, they deserved to be aware of their feelings and decide based on them, they didn't have to go around wondering and drowning in doubt.

He could go over it a thousand times, find all the problems and the little details that could turn this situation to a dead end, nonetheless, he always came back to the same decision: he was going to confess. If problems came his way, he'll resolve them once they were in front of him.

Adrien was brought back to reality by the feeling of a pencil poking on his left arm. He looked over his shoulder and gave a questioning look to Nino.

His best friend moved closer and leaned towards him to whisper.

"Your foot has been bouncing non-stop and you are clicking your pen against the table for at least half an hour,"

"Oh, sorry," He said, putting the pen back on the table and crossing his legs to stop his bouncing feet.

"I don't mind, Alix might, she has been staring at you with her death glance for a few seconds now," Nino giggled and so did Adrien.

"Thanks for the warning then,"

"No problem, I'm always here to help," Nino said, "Always,"

Adrien appreciated his words and the emphasis on them.

They fell into silence again, whispers echoed in the room as the teacher wrote down a few formulas on the blackboard and the sound of the pen against paper and tablets made a harmonic beat that was interrupted by Nino's voice when he couldn't handle any longer what he actually wanted to say. But Adrien had to congratulate him a little, he lasted more seconds than he actually thought he would.

"Why are you so nervous? Is it about Marinette?"

"No," He lied quickly enough for Nino to realize he was doing it.

"Oh, it is. Speak," Nino elbowed him, "Did you figure it out? Is the girl back in your mind and confirmed your suspicions?"

"We're in class and she is just a few seats back," Adrien grunted.

"She is too busy dealing with Lila and keeping an eye on Alya so they won't punch each other to death,"

Adrien chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"She is not back," Adrien said, a sad tune on his voice, "But my suspicions have been confirmed,"

"They have?! Adrien, my dude, that's great!" Nino hugged him.

They both laughed forgetting they were in class, but they were quickly reminded by the warning of their teacher. They apologized and kept their giggles low, muffling them with their hands covering their mouths.

"You're almost as happy as I am," Adrien laughed and took Nino's cap away, to ruffle the buzz cut on his head, after making sure the teacher wasn't looking anymore.

"Of course I am, Adrien. You've been acting so weird the last months, I know something else is bothering you -and I'm not gonna push you to tell me, just as I promised- so I'm happy that you have a little joy going on,"

"Thank you," Adrien's lips curled in a tender smile. He inhaled deeply and extended his hands releasing some tension, "I promise I'll tell you all about it soon,"

"There's no rush, Adrien, really,"  
"I know, I know. I'm not rushing, not even a little, I just feel more comfortable talking about it,"

"Is it about your dad?"

"Isn' everything?" Adrien huffed.

"I'm going to punch him one day,"  
"Join the club," Adrien laughed.

 **xx**

Marinette was on top of the red carpet on Alya's room, going through a bunch of papers with articles of the Ladyblog printed on it, and a book Master Fu lent her that same evening after her monthly visit for tea and everything-miraculous-and-fight-of-evil conversation. Alya was on her desk wheelchair, smashing the keyboard and printing the information she considered useful.

The thought of Papillon vanishing was terrifying, not only because it meant that a surprise attack could happen but because it could mean that a greater evil was out there and Marinette did not have the time, energy or motivation to keep fighting villains in her university life. If it was for her this chase would already be over and she would be enjoying her normal life, having dates with Chat, introducing him to her group of friends and make it part of her daily life to give him all the love he deserved.

Also, she could sleep more, that was always a plus.

"Anything?" Alya asked for the third time that hour.

"Nothing," Marinette said for the third time too. "I've come to the conclusion that Papillon doesn't have any idea of what he is actually doing and decided to take vacations,"

Alya chuckled, "That it's too convenient for us, especially for you, to be true. But one can dream,"

"Is the only thing I can think of. Chat Noir hasn't come out with anything either. "

"Maybe if we called him, he could join us and could come up with something new,"

"Alya…"

"C'mon, this is the perfect moment to do it, nothing is going on!"  
"This is the worst moment to have a reveal, Alya!"

"That's not true!" Alya frowned and stood up from the chair, her hands rested on her waist and she clenched her teeth, "You always say is 'not the time' 'it's dangerous'. You finally have a moment of peace and quiet where you could talk to him and figure out things without the pressure of having an akuma attack in the middle of your conversation. Take it!"

"No,"

"Marinette…"  
"I said no," She crossed her arms in front of her chest and pouted.

"Why not?! And tell me the truth!"

"Because I think we are going to be romantically involved and we can't afford to mess up if something big is waiting out there for us!" Marinette blurted out, tired of Alya's judgy stare.

Alya took off her glasses and blinked fast. Her mouth opened in the shape of a perfect on and quivered.

"What do you mean?" Alya gasped. "What happened between you two?" Her tone was softer this time, not ordering for answers but asking. She was genuinely concerned.

"Nothing yet…"

"But you sound so sure that something _is_ going to happen,"

Marinette hid her face with her hands and huffed. She was supposed to keep it a secret until she found a solution to her situation -if there was one- but there was just so much that she could hide from Alya. Being close to her was a threat when it came to keeping secrets, she was still amazed at how long she was able to keep her identity secret before the blogger figured out.

"Two nights ago something changed between us, I can't explain it but something did," Marinette whispered, not wanting to get in detail with the telepathic connection, "And last night when we met to discuss our plans and suspicions we ended up talking about our personal lives and… long story short, he likes me. He _likes_ likes me,"

"But we already knew that," Alya rolled her eyes amusedly.

"Lya, he likes me," Marinette waved her hands around her figure, " _Marinette_ me."

Alya choked but recovered fast, "We kind of knew that too?"

Marinette gave her a frustrated look.

"But we did! His eyes just ogle all over you when you're close,"

"That's a physical attraction. He said he might be in love with me,"

Now Alya lost it. Her eyes grew big and she squealed.

"In love! He is in love with you!  
"Maybe!" Marinette lifted a warning finger.

"Same difference," Alya dropped to her knees and shook Marinette by her shoulders, "And you said something romantically could happen between you too. You're in love with him!"

"I'm not in love with him," I do love him though, "But I could, if things go right and I don't mess it up with sketchy identity business,"

"What are you talking about, Nette? You're making things harder! Just tell him who you are,"

"And jeopardize a whole city with humans living in it? _U_ _h_ , I think not. I can't allow my self to be selfish just because I want a boy to kiss me,"

"How would you do that? You two would be more in sync than ever,"

"Or any of us could be more worried about keeping the other safe than caring about civilians,"

"You pretty much do that already," Alya rose a brow.

"It wouldn't be the same," It was never _that_ easy.

Alya seemed to realize that she wasn't going to get anywhere with her because she kept quiet, and she almost never did that.

She wrapped her arms around her and held her tight. Marinette gave the hug back and let out a few tears that she had been holding while making their research.

She understood perfectly from where Alya came from, the excitement she felt, but from a very young age, Marinette had learned that if she let her emotions rule her, she would fail and she couldn't fail, not when she was Ladybug, Paris' protector. Marinette would love to tell Chat who she was and make their relationship easier, but that wasn't how the superhero life worked.

For a second there, Marinette wished something she would never let anyone know. It wasn't wrong to wish it if you looked at it objectively, but it still made her feel like trash. Wishing someone's death was not a nice thing to do, not even if it was a supervillain.

 **xx**

Marinette made it back home four hours later. Alya and she gave up on their research and ended up watching a movie and eating sushi.

She sat down in the living room with her parents for half an hour, talking about her day and informing them a little about the party -that was stressing her more and more as the days passed. Marinette asked for suggestions of ways of entertainment and they spend most of their conversation laughing at her father's crazy ideas, it brushed away a big part of the anxiety she was feeling about it and helped her loosen up a little before going to bed.

She was changing into her pajama pants when she heard a loud thud coming from her balcony. A smile formed on her face and she hurried getting dressed to run and open the door to the visitor she had been expecting all day.

Before opening the trap door, she whispered his name. With his enhanced senses he would be able to hear her with no problem.

"Chat?"  
"Darling," His voice rang like a sweet melody, "Is it too late?"  
"It's never too late for you," She answered, opening the door and peeking through it.

"Oh, I like how that sounds," He said, the words rolling in his tongue with a suggestive tone that Marinette decided to ignore that moment but that would echo in her mind for a long, long time.

She made her way to his open arms in two big steps and when she reached him, he spun her in the air. Marinette couldn't help but laugh. After an evening of sobbing in Alya's arms, this was exactly the happiness she needed.

Chat landed a kiss on her cheek and put her down on the floor.

"I've missed you," Marinette said, rubbing her hands over his arms.

"I've missed you too, princess,"

They intertwined their hands together and Marinette led the way to the chaise lounge on the side.

He sat down first and made space for her between his legs, so she could rest against his chest. Chat crossed his arms around her waist and pressed his head on her neck. Marinette threw her head back and closed her eyes.

"How was your day?" He asked. His chest vibrated and so did Marinette's whole body, making her tingle.

"It was nice, stressful but not bad enough to categorize it as bad,"

"The party planning again?"

"In between other things,"

"A girl like you should only have wonderful days," He sighed.

"That's impossible," Marinette poked under his chin, "If I only had wonderful days I would not be able to see them as wonderful, they all would be the same,"

"I would make sure to make everyday wonderful and memorable so you would not get bored of it,"  
Marinette laughed.

"I would!"

"I know you would," Marinette opened her eyes and looked at him from the corner. "Now _you_ tell me about your day, kitty,"

"Not much, school, a job interview for an upcoming event and I saw Isabel today," Chat said, he rolled one finger around one piece of her hair and tugged it a little, making her laugh, it was almost planned, like he wanted to give a little bit of joy to the heavy subject.

"How was it?" Marinette asked, worried to not dig too deep immediately.

"Good. Isabel makes me feel like I make real progress," He said low, "Even when we talk about my father,"

"Is it hard to talk about him?"

"Yes," He nodded, "I thought the hard part, what bothered me the most, was my mother but it's been years and I talked about it when I was younger and I talk about it now. She is gone, I've accepted it, it still hurts, I think it always will but it doesn't affect me the way it used to,"

"That's normal, Chat,"

"Yes, I know," Chat Noir said, "But I never imagined it would get easy to talk about her, never did I thought that all my emotional baggage would come more from my father than my mother,"

Marinette chirped her teeth. _She_ had thought about it.

"Any reason why you spoke about him today?" Marinette rose a curious brow and shifted her position to see him better.

"Yes. Today at breakfast we had a brief talk. The coin finally dropped, he knows I'm seriously talking about moving," He rubbed his temples before continuing, "He used my mental health, just as I said he would,"

"I really fucking hate him!" Marinette groaned, unable to repress her anger. "Gosh, he is worse than Adrien's dad I swear,"

His ears perked and he looked at her with an expression that she couldn't decrypt.

"Adrien is a friend of mine, he has a shitty father too…" Marinette mumbled, "Keep going,"

"Isabel was outraged with his response. She gave me a whole lesson on mental health. It was boring but rather needed, she told me she would call my dad and explain it to him too. I have no idea if that was a joke or a promise,"

Marinette laughed, "What do you think?"

"It leans more toward promise, Isabel would, she's a badass

"Did you told her about my offer of joining forces and punch your dad?"

"I actually did! She said laughed and said it was unprofessional, but she seemed down for it,"

"Well, tell her I'm ready when she is," Marinette's nose tickled and she sneezed before she could start talking again which made Chat laugh and pull one of those adorable smiles.

"My best friend is also ready whenever you need him," He said.

"I'll add him to the list," Marinette nodded and clicked her tongue.

Chat started playing with her hair as if it was his personal thread of yarn. Marinette relaxed on his arms and felt the summer breeze on her skin, her sight fixed on a point in the horizon where the lights of Notre Dam were tilting and the starts and crossing airplanes made their way every now and then.

The smooth sounds of the night and the warm body hugging her were calming as nothing in the world was.

She missed him on her mind, but this was almost as perfect as that was, and in the summer, once she had free time, she would have so much more of this. It was something to be excited about.

"Princess,"

"Yes,"

"I love you,"

"I love you too," She said, nuzzling her nose against his neck.

"Yes but I… Okay, listen," He took a sharp breath and continued, "This is going to be so weird but… I was planning on doing something big but… No, let me start again. I've been thinking this and, no, no, that ain't it,"

Marinette laughed. She sat and switched sides, to be face to face with him. Her hands landed on the arms of the chair and looked down at him.

"What's on your mind?"

"Oh, so much," He said, it was like he was out of breath.

Marinette put one hand above his chest, right on top of his heart which was beating like crazy.

"Are you okay?"  
"Never been better," His hand covered hers and lifted it close to his lips. He pressed his mouth on her palm and then on her wrist. "But my mind has been a mess today,"

"It lacks _me,_ I bet," She teased.

"Good bet, but actually it's better if you're out, I would have made so much white noise, you would have punched me,"

"And we don't want that,"  
"No, we don't want that," He shook his head, "I don't like to make you angry. I love you,"

"I know, I feel the same way,"

"I really, really love you," Chat said again. Marinette titled her head, there was something about the way he was speaking that let her know that he was not filtering anything.

"I love you and I'll always love you, no matter what happens you will always be the most special person in my world,"

"And you'll be mine,"

"I love you and like you so much,"

"I do too, but… what's going on? I don't get tired of hearing it but you've said it enough, don't you think?"

"Ugh," He growled and threw his head back, "I knew I had to plan it, I knew it, I fucking knew it,"

"Relax," Marinette said, squeezing his shoulders, "Take a few breathes and organize your thoughts, chaton,"

He did as she said. Chat closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. Marinette smiled and started brushing pieces of his hair while waiting.

"Forgive me for this, but I decided it was best to just do it at the spare of the moment," He whispered.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't talk," His finger landed on top of her lips and her eyes popped.

A thought ran through her mind. Was this it? Was he finally confessing? Oh, no, she wasn't ready for this, she thought she was but her body was telling her otherwise.

"Minou," Marinette tried to talk but her words were run over by his.

"I love you as a friend, Nette, I always have but I also lo-like you… _romantically,_ " He said it so fast that it was a miracle that she understood what he said.

Her breath caught on her throat, her heart did a crazy spin that made her ache, and her body heated up, she could only imagine how red her cheeks were.

There it was. Chat Noir, her boy, her partner, the boy behind the mask and her mind-friend had spilled his feelings, and he had been so nervous, it made Marinette all fuzzy inside.

And what was that about planning it, doing something big? Of course, he didn't have to! It did surprise her that he did not go over the top and threw something as he did with Ladybug years ago, but she wasn't angry, he did not have to excuse himself. This was perfect as it was, it was just two friends talking, sharing their feelings and trusting each other, just like they always did.

Marinette realized she was taking too long to answer when Chat reclined back in the chair and covered his face with his arms, muffling a desperate and ashamed groan.

"I ruined it, didn't I? I was wrong, I messed up,"

Marinette glanced at him with a little smile as he talked to himself like a little boy.

"Kitty," She whispered, leaning into him, catching his arms and pulling them away from his face.

"I'm so dumb, princess," He sighed, "I really thought," This time was Marinette who shut him up, putting a finger against his lips.

"You need to learn the importance of patience, kitty cat," She said and laughed, "I was about to say: what a coincidence,"

"Coincidence?"

Marinette nodded and hummed, "Yes, it seems like," She made a dramatic pause, just to tease him, "that I…"

"Marinette!" He whined and she laughed.

"It seems like I like you too, mon minou. _Romantically,_ "

A sigh of relief came out of his mouth and he dared to look at her again. His hands found their way to her hips and he pulled her closer to him.

"Heavens, I thought I was going to have a heart attack," Chat giggled.

"Not on my watch," Marinette looked down at him and smiled. His face was a whole view, his eyes were glowing with happiness and his toothy smile was so big and cute that she wanted to kiss it all over.

"Oh, would you look at that smiley face," Marinette said, cupping his cheeks and squeezing a little. His smile never disappeared, in fact, it only grew in size. "You're adorable, kitty,"

"You're beautiful, darling,"

It was not the first time, and probably not the last time, he said she was beautiful but after his confession, it meant so much more to her.

At that moment, Marinette was hit by old memories of him, as the boy she heard in her head and as her partner, and she could not help but fall for him all over again. The boy who she had been looking for her whole life had always been there for her, in any form he presented in her life, he was always ready to help her, to make her feel better, to love her.

Her fingertips landed on the curvature of his lips and she followed the shape of them as they stared at each other. She heard Chat gulp and his hands roaming up her waist.

"Boy," She said playfully.

"Girl," He answered with a smile on his face.

"I think I found a new way to teach you how a kiss feels like. If you're still up to it"

"I'm always eager to learn," Chat said, his voice hoarse.

"You'll have to teach me too, okay? I don't have that much experience either,"

"Of course," He nodded, one of his hands reached her hair and tangled on it, "Like everything we do, we'll do it together,"

"Together," She said breathily, closing the space between them, brushing her upper lip over his lower lip.

"Together," He caught her lips on his and Marinette forgot about the world.


	16. Frosting

Marinette sat down next to Alya as she threw her back on the floor and groaned.

Her best friend laughed and patted her back, comforting her.

It had been an awfully long day, the closest they were to the end of the school year the hours seem to run slower than ever. And with all the extra activities Marinette had to take care off, classes were the last thing on her mind if she could only skip them without facing any consequences, she would.

But the school day was finally over, and she would get to spend a few hours with her friends in the park. Especially with Alya who had been digging her nails on her arm the whole day, waiting for Marinette to tell her all about last night.

There was not much to say, or at least not much that Marinette actually wanted to share. She had always trusted all of her secrets to Alya, she did not have a problem with it but somehow today she wanted to keep many details to herself only.

Like how the way his eyes shone like fairy lights every time he glimpsed at her just before closing his eyes and capture her lips, or how his soft breaths turned into heavy gasps whenever they stopped to stare at her as if he couldn't believe this was happening to him. How they had laughed when they nose bumped with each other and when they teeth clashed awkwardly.

Or how amazingly incredibly it had been to pass from awkward yet soft and warm pecks to passionate make outs, with his hands tangling in her hair and her hands roaming down his neck and chest.

Marinette had told almost everything she could, and Alya had freaked out with every word, but when there was nothing else to say, she got ready for the effusive questions her best friend was about to throw at her.

"So, is he a good kisser?" Marinette laughed at her question. Of course, she wanted to know that.  
"He is the only boy I've ever kiss so I can't compare it with anything else."

"You can still know. Did it feel good?"

 _"Really_ good,"

"Oh," Alya wiggled her eyebrows, winning a push from Marinette, "He is a good kisser then. I'm so happy for you!"

"Because he is a good kisser?"

Alya rolled her eyes and pulled out an amused smile. "That's a plus. I'm happy because you look all smiley and sound so tender when you talk about him, M. Who would have thought you would fall for him?"

"Not me," Marinette laughed and dropped her head in Alya's shoulder after fluttering her eyelashes in a dreamlike gesture, "It's crazy but it also feels like it was always meant to be this way. Kitty is everything I could ever want and more,"

"Hopefully we'll get to call him something else than kitty soon," Marinette rose her sight to Alya, ready to remind her last night conversation but she kept talking, "We need to kick Papillon's ass already."

"Oh, do we have to," Marinette sighed and then let out a giggle.

"Hey, change of subject,"

"How rare of you to not throw an avalanche of questions."  
"There's not much to discuss yet, you've only been dating him for a night and half a day," Alya shrugged, "What got my attention, is your other perfect blonde."

Marinette crooked a brow confused, but the smirk on Alya's face explained it all.

"Adrien is not mine," Never was, never will. And it wasn't a problem anymore.

"Whatever. He's been looking at you with dreamy eyes the whole day,"

"What? No." She denied, turning around to look around and find him. They were waiting for him and Nino after all, he was meant to appear soon.

"Yes, he has," Alya nodded. "Mister Whiskers could get jealous. Adrien can't keep his eyes out of you, and he has been all lovey-dovey around you."

"He is _not_ lovey-dovey," Marinette snorted, "Don't say that it sounds so cheesy-"

"Perfect for Adrien then," Marinette couldn't help but laugh, Alya did have a point.

"And Chat is not going to get jealous, he has matured and trusts me."

"Now," Alya said, "Does Chat know you liked Adrien before?"

"Chat knows I liked someone before, but not that it is Adrien. He doesn't know him that well either to bring it up so casually, and we just started dating yesterday, I was not going to talk about Adrien and ruin the night."

"Oh, of course not, not when she was making out with a hot superhero,"

Marinette gave a loopy smile and recalled last night events in her head. How she wished he was still there, so he could give more details to her memories.

For two people with next to no experience in the kissing department, they had made things interesting and pleasing. She had only wanted it to last forever, and that's why the last kiss of the night was the hardest to give. Marinette didn't want him to leave but after two hours of silly conversation and amazing kisses it was time for them to rest and sleep, they had school the next day and Chat had to work.

"Well, well, well, look who is over there," Alya whispered

Marinette looked a few meters away, following Alya's accusatory finger, finding Nino and Adrien were sitting under a tree from where they wouldn't have seen her and Alya but them two could perfectly see the boys. The surprising part of it was not that they hadn't looked around the park to found them, but the other guy that was chatting with them, and when Marinette recognized him a bright smile appeared on her lips.

She didn't wait for Alya to decide how to act, Marinette's body moved on her own and ran towards the boys.

"Luka!" She shouted and waved as she made her way to the tree.

The three boys heard her and turned in her direction, waving back as she got closer.

"Nette!" Luka called back and met her halfway, embracing her in a warm hug. "I haven't seen you in so long."

"You say it as we don't text regularly," Marinette giggled, pressing a kiss on his cheek, "I thought you were going to be in Berlin for the weekend."

"I was but Gracie's father had a heart attack and we all decided to return with her,"  
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I hope it wasn't extremely grave," Marinette had met Gracie, Luka's band's bassist a year ago and she was one of the sweetest people she had ever met. She was genuinely sad to hear her dad was not doing well.

"It was not, he just needs to take care of himself and adopt a healthier lifestyle, and all that jazz. Gracie is a maniac about it though, but I can't blame her, I would act the same if something happened to my ma."

"So, would I," Marinette nodded.

"But hey, let's look at the bright side! I get to see you guys,"

"Yes, it is really good to see you, Luka," Marinette hugged him again and Luka patted her head in return.

"So, Nette, we were talking about the party," Adrien said, standing up and walking closer to them.

"Oh yes! Jules told me about it and I was asking the guys for more. You know how Juleka can be. I wanted all the details," Luka leaned on the truck of the tree and looked down to his friends.

"Stupid party," Marinette rubbed her forehead, "It's been pure chaos,"

"You're doing a magnificent job, Nette." Adrien said to her, then turned to Luka "You know how she is, everything she does is perfect."

Marinette rolled her eyes affectionately. "You dork, that's not true,"

"It is," He gave one of those smiles that could light up the whole city on its own.

Luka laughed and kicked Adrien's shoe, then he reached for Marinette and crossed his arm around her shoulders. "Thank you, Adrien, for reminding us how wonderful our Nette is and, at the same time, letting know about your crush. As perfect as everything you do is Marinette (I would not doubt for a second that you got the organization running all by yourself) Jules told me you're having problems with the entertainment,"

Ignoring the part where Luka mentioned Adrien's crush, which could not be real, and only a way to tease him, Marinette answered, pretending to be unbothered, "Yes, we can't come up with something good yet cheap, we don't have any more money to spend."

"Alright, alright," Luka nodded, he leaned close to her ear and whispered, "What if the band and I played?

"What?!" Marinette jumped, she covered her mouth with her hands and stared at the guitarist with stars on her eyes. "That would be, wow, I, but… you have better places to play at that our party, Luka,"

"You're my friend, baby M, and is also my sister's party, I would love to play," He said as he ruffled her hair.

"Oh gosh, I love you, thank you so much!" Marinette jumped at him and wrapped her arms around him, moving side to side as she laughed enthusiastically. "I have to call the other class representatives, and oh, where's Alya?! I have to tell her first."

And so, Marinette ran back to her best friend, practically bouncing like an energizer bunny.

 **xx**

"Wow, you really made her day," Adrien said. Not a sprinkle of jealousy on his words, he was really happy to see his girlfriend so happy.

 _Girlfriend._ That sounded so amazingly good.

Last night hadn't gone as planned, not that he had many details to check but it took a turn that he wasn't expecting. Even for a second, he thought he had taken Marinette's words out of context and that he wasn't the boy she was in love with.

Fortunately, as almost nothing ever was, Marinette did like him back and the night had ended with a wonderful make-out session. And heavens it had been like touching the moon with bare hands and getting electrified with the strongest energy to have ever be touched.

It had been a little awkward for him at the beginning. Adrien initiated the kiss, with confidence he did not know he had, but with his lack of experience, he started to treble short after, a siren had been ringing on his head and it did not stop until Marinette melted on his arms and a sweet and soft satisfied moan came out of her lips.

"Wow, he really got it bad," Luka's laughed chimed like bells and made him focus on the real word again, instead of the memory his blushed girlfriend.

"So how obvious it was that Adrien likes Marinette?" Nino giggled and squeezed Luka's left shoulder.

" _So_ obvious. I could hear the love and despair from miles away,"

"It is not obvious!" He said, knowing he was lying but trying to convince himself too.

Luka gave a rich laugh, "Don't worry, Adrien. Been there, done that. Is hard not to fall for Nette."

Adrien wanted to agree but a bitter feeling sat on his chest. Luka used to be head over heels for Marinette, that was in the past, he knew all about Luka's new love interest but somehow, he still felt a little jealous.

He would have to work on that, Ladybug had already warned him about it and he had no doubt that Marinette would too.

"Yeah, she is out of this world." He finally said, voice like melting honey as he looked at her in the distance.

"I got a feeling you'll be luckier than I was." Luka patted his back and winked. "Should we go to them? Weren't you in the park to see them after all?"

"Yes, let's go, I already miss my girl," Nino said, he crossed one arm on each boys' shoulder and started to walk with them.

Hanging out with the girls was different than before. Adrien couldn't keep his eyes away from Marinette, he did not want to miss a second with her. She was glowing today, he hoped it wasn't all because of Luka's offer, he hoped his confession and their time together last night had something to do with the wonderful smile she was displaying.

As all of them shared their own stories and laughed together, there was a moment when Marinette looked distracted and Nino, Alya, and Luka were on their own bubble too, which was a great opening for Adrien.

"Nette?" He called for her cautiously, hoping his conversation wouldn't be considered an interruption, she could be having an important mental conversation, maybe an upcoming design.

"Yes?" Marinette lifted a brow and smiled.  
"Can I still go to the bakery tomorrow?" The hope on his voice was impossible to ignore.

" _Uh?_ " Marinette left the pen she was holding on top of the table and straightened her posture, looking at his eyes with utter confusion.

Adrien gulped before continuing. "You said your father wanted me to go back and I-

"Oh, right! Yes! Of course, of course, you can," Marinette waved her hands euphorically. "This week has been crazy Adrien, I completely forgot about it, but I'll tell my dad as soon as I get home,"

"It's no problem, and I don't have to go, I was-  
"No, no, no. You have to, really, my father, and I too, want you there. The week has been really something, I promise is just that."

"I don't actually have to go if you're busy we can reschedule."

"No, Adrien. I'm being serious, tomorrow is perfect, we would love to have you." Marinette took his hand between hers, reassuring him.

"Okay," He tilted his head and admired her beautiful face. "Anything I need to take?"

"Only your good energy. Can you do that?

"You bet."

 **xx**

Adrien was at Marinette's door at six am the next morning. He had offered to be there as early as five am, to help her father with the opening but they convinced him that it wasn't necessary, that he could work on frosting with more freedom if he came a little bit later.

Marinette had not been there to welcome him, Tom said she wanted to but considering it was a Saturday and Marinette was not a morning person, she had slept through her alarm and was still wrapped in her bedsheets.

Adrien was a little disappointed, he had not visited last night, and he was dying to see her, nonetheless, he did come here to help Tom and decorate cupcakes, so that's what he focused on.

The young model was on the third trade of carrot cupcakes and vanilla frosting when his sleepy girlfriend crossed the kitchen's door. She was wearing workout shorts and a big but thin white hoodie, her hair was on a messy braid and as low-effort her look was, she did have a bit of makeup on.

"Hi, Adrien." She said waving at him as she crossed the room to pick one _pain au chocolat_ , and then go greeting him with a cheek kiss.

As normal as the greeting was, it did some tricks on him. He was so close from her lips and yet so far.

"Good morning, Nette." Adrien tried to keep his cool, hide the fact that he was dying to catch her in his arms, spin her around and never let her go.

Marinette moved closer to him, biting her breakfast and saw his work. He felt shy all of a sudden.

"Whoa, you're really good at this."

"Uh… thank you. But it's just normal frosting, I bet you could do it asleep."  
"I could not," She shook her head. "I'm serious, Adrien, you have talent! I remember my cake being awesome but I thought my father had helped you out more, seeing this I can tell you did most of the work. As 'normal' as this frosting is, it requires a technique to make them all look the same, to make them all look perfect. These look perfect and it's just your second time doing."

"I just decorated food without messing up, they're 'good-enough-cupcakes'. Your father is the artist, I just followed his steps."

Marinette sighed and nodded her head. "Unbelievable," She whispered.

"What?"

"Can I ask you something? Like, for real,"

"Shoot me, darling." He smiled.

Marinette's face twisted at that, and she flinched. She recovered quickly, but Adrien had seen that sudden change.

"Why are you so set on dismissing your talent?"

"I'm not dismissing it, you're just being too nice."

"I'm telling you the truth, you're good at it. What's wrong with that?" Marinette crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Adrien looked at her and gave himself a second to think her question deeply.

Yes, why did he do that?

"I don't know." He finally answered, reaching a street with no end.

"Think about it, okay?"

"Okay," He nodded.

"And Adrien…

"Yes?"

"Please don't call me darling."

"Oh…" That's why she flinched! _He had spilled without noticing!_ "Yes, of course. I'm so, so sorry."

"No, don't be. it's no big deal! It's just that… my boyfriend calls me that."

"Boyfriend?!" Marinette covered his mouth with her hand before he could continue, hushing him.

She put one finger in front of her lips and frowned at him. "Not so loud. My parents don't know, it's a secret."

"How scandalous, Nette, a secret boyfriend," He purred.

"It's not like that," She whined, "I can't explain, but it's not like that."

"Okay," Adrien shrugged, having too much fun with how conflicted she was.

 _Oh, princess, if you only knew I'm right here._

"But I want to keep it that way for some time, I already told Alya, but she won't say a thing so," _Alya knows? Of course, she does, but what and how much does she know?_ "Can you keep it a secret too?"

"Of course. You can always count on me, Nette."

"I know I do,"

Adrien looked down, at the plate of cupcakes ready to hit the glass shelves of the bakery, focusing on them because if he kept looking at Marinette he would reveal his identity at that same moment.

The bubbling joy it felt to listen to her say she had a boyfriend was making his heart bounce like a kid with a sugar-rush.

It was nice being with her like this, but it was hard to pretend. If only he could, he would have unmasked last night and then he would be flirting with her, holding her, maybe teasing her and dirtying her face with frosting only to clean it away with kisses.

And if she did know who he was, maybe their prior conversation had run deeper. Adrien and Marinette were close friends, but it would never compare to the bond they had as mind-sharing-friends. She would push him harder than anyone, he would bend him enough for him to pour down his feelings, but she would never break him.

Adrien reached for a cupcake and rolled it on his hand. He admired it like a piece of art, a delicate and breakable masterpiece, and not for what it really was, a simple piece of decorated food.

"I really like doing this." He admitted, "It makes me feel something."

"I thought they were only 'good-enough-cupcakes'"

"They are," He laughed, "They could be better, but what I mean is… I really like baking and decorating, it makes me feel a way I never knew I could."

"And that is?"

"I don't know. I only feel this way when I'm playing piano, but not in class or in a recital, like when I play piano just for the sake of playing it when I do my own encores, or I end up doing a cover of the last anime I watched."

He felt Marinette's sight on him, analyzing him, planning what to say next. She put one hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

"Well, I wasn't lying when I said you could come whenever you felt like, Adrien."

But Adrien wasn't listening to her anymore, he was lost in thoughts that he had kept hidden for a very long time.

As he held the cupcake on his hands and watched the fruit of his effort and dedication in front of him, he also saw something that he was naturally good at that he would not mind to improve. He saw something he had not seen in a long, long time, an activity that he was interested in pursuing, not because his father said so, not because it was beneficial to him, his career or his name, he saw something he actually liked that had no other profit that joy itself.

Adrien smiled to himself and then looked at Marinette, he reached for her hand and crossed his fingers with her, not minding what she would think of it.

He kept quiet, she would be confused but one day he would explain her, now he just wanted to have her close and enjoy this moment of realization.

 **xx**


	17. Important

Hi, it's my Lilaac.

Sadly, this is not a chapter but an announcement.

I've decided to stop posting here.

To be honest I always forget that I have an account here and well, I just wanted all of you to know that if you're interested in my work, it's all on ao3 with the same username (LilaacStars)

Hope you the best and thank you for reading my work!


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